Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 19:41:05 GMT
Sounds lovely and calm and dare i say quite normal today.
Think it's great when new parents do see a bit of a tantrum, so they know what's normal for their new child and aren't too shocked when they are back home.
Glad she went down easily tonight and hope she stays asleep until morning.
Hugs to you Imp, you're doing so well putting her needs first as always xx
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 13, 2014 21:08:41 GMT
Just sounds like it's getting better each day IMP: much to be said for your preparation and the 'right' match. x
|
|
|
|
Post by ladybug on Oct 14, 2014 6:27:05 GMT
So glad everything is going well.
X x x Ladybug x x X
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 14, 2014 18:03:15 GMT
Day 5
It's all getting a bit too much for GLO today.
So many people here for the mid way review, Mummy and Daddy doing all care---except when she comes to me or OH, and the grandchildren called in very briefly after school to meet her new Mummy and Daddy (all planned and important for them)
Some very distressed episodes, and little eaten when out as a trio today.
Teatime only successful when OH spoon-fed her.
She didn't even like bathtime with M and D this evening, but is currently asleep after they put her to bed.
We know that it will be hard for her, but awful to see her confusion---though also rather amusing to watch her having her foot stamping, cup throwing tantrums, she is only just 2 after all.
Tomorrow we go out for the day, leaving the three of them in our house for about 7 hours, which is the precursor to her first visit to her new home on Thursday. This means that Mummy and Daddy are fully in charge of everything, but in her 'safe space'
|
|
|
|
Post by gilreth on Oct 14, 2014 18:16:39 GMT
So much of what you write Imp reminds me of this time a year ago when we were in Introductions to Sqk. Although from what his FC has told us since he actually adjusted fairly well to us. It is lovely to read this from the other point of view.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2014 4:59:28 GMT
As Gilreth said, it is so useful to hear it from the other side about what goes on when the parents leave and the child is registering change and knows something is happening but isn't sure what.
Hopefully they will have a good day today and you enjoy your day out.
Try not to worry too much xx
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 15, 2014 19:33:03 GMT
Day 6
Full withdrawal day today. OH and I took the babies out for the day.
Mummy and Daddy took over completely, got GLO up, breakfast, dressed, then took her upstairs to have her teeth cleaned (which she loves) and played with her until we left
(slight problem, my car become sick, had to transfer car seats to OHs---after he tried for 15 mins to get mine started----has resulted in him talking about a new---er one for me, even pointing out one that I might like!!!)
Had a good day out, eventually, and even managed some C (sh) shopping.
As soon as we came home GLO came to us for a cuddle, then refused tea with parents (she had eaten a 'sure fire' meal at lunch time that I had left for her---something they will copy)
Some lovely interaction with our babes, then eager to go up for her bath with M&D, until she got there.
Fortunately they have observed her having a wonderful bath when I supervised, as she is refusing to even sit down for them. Obviously an issue for her, but one they will have to work through. I am sending the same style of bath mat, and an identical but new set of bath toys, so making it as 'normal' as possible, but interesting that she isn't even happy with them bathing her here.
She did settle quite well for them---was very tired, and we haven't head anything from her so far.
This is the point when she really does stop being OUR GLO, and becomes theirs, especially as they have taken many of her toys over the last two days, and we are packing the rest to take over tomorrow, on our first visit. We really don't need them here now as she will be at their home everyday until she moves, and what little time she has here she will enjoy playing with the babies toys.
How am I feeling? Tired, almost relieved that we have got to this stage as M&D won't be spending lots of time here now. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely, and have been really good with her, but it's good to have our house back again. A little down as she is a special LO, but that detachment has set in, and she is now theirs---just a little visitor to us for a few more days.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2014 19:45:48 GMT
Awh hugs to you Imp, I don't know how you FC's do it, but sooooo glad you do. Xx
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Oct 16, 2014 10:12:07 GMT
its a strange time indeed, I find myself wanting it all to be over while not wanting to say goodbye to little one, mixed emotions. glad its going ok tho and hope the next part goes as well.
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 16, 2014 18:41:24 GMT
You guys go through so much, said it so many times but goodness knows how you do it Hugs all round x
|
|
|
|
Post by serrakunda on Oct 16, 2014 19:30:31 GMT
(((Imp)))
What a great start you have given this special little one, and I'm sure there is another little one waiting in the wings for you
|
|
|
|
Post by twoplustwo on Oct 16, 2014 21:30:29 GMT
This is so lovely to read. Takes me back to my fostering days and the intros I was involved with. Such mixed feelings. Take care.
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 16, 2014 23:38:39 GMT
Day 7
GLO and I went to her new home today, theoretically for 2 hours which somehow stretched to three.
Interesting journey, though fortunately OH and I had done a lot of research last night and I could visualise where I was going (road numbers mean nothing to me, I need visual directions!)
GLO was ready to go into the house and explore, then decided that she needed to explore the path outside with Daddy while Mummy and I took even more of her belongings into the house . She was really content to play on the ground floor, but would not go near the stairs, even holding Daddy's hand.
Eventually I carried her upstairs so that we could all see her bedroom, and the bathroom---very important given her current aversion to them bathing her---and she was fine. I think that their stairs just look so different to ours, narrower and with a pronounced turn, so that she can't actually see the top of them from the hallway.
Then back home, no problem about leaving, but then I wouldn't expect there to be, as she will still be thinking that we are her family, and that these new people are just lovely people with the names Mummy and Daddy, who play with her and live in an interesting house---with toys like hers in it.
Everything just as normal at teatime and bedtime, she settled immediately.
This is always a strange day, as it is only half a day and there is the trip to the new house---which is momentous for me, interesting ( and important) for LO, but then back 'home' for an evening just as it used to be before these strangers started to visit.
Tomorrow morning will continue this theme, as we get her up, breakfasted, dressed etc and OH takes her over, spends half an hour or so there, then returns. She stays with M&D for the day and they bring her home after tea.
It is so important that we both visit with her, so that she has our 'permission' to move there, and she can associate us with her new home.
Going to bed now, the strain is really telling and I am t-i-r-e-d. 
|
|
|
|
Post by moo on Oct 17, 2014 2:48:38 GMT
Aww imp such a wonderful account of your beautiful GLO & intros.... M& D sound just fantastic the perfect M & D for your their little GLO ....
Have missed a few of these it has been fantastic to catch up.... So wonderful to read from the f/c view of their precious charge.... Thanx so for letting us into your world xxxx
She sounds so wonderfully prepared you are amazing imp ( & dh )
Many hugs for you both the finish post is in sight xxxxx
xx. moo. Xx
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2014 10:13:20 GMT
Hope you managed to get some sleep Imp.
It's hard this letting go, even when you know it's for the best.
Do something nice for yourself and DH today while GLO is at her new home xx
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 17, 2014 22:24:53 GMT
Day 8
OH took her this morning, after a lovely 'normal' start to the day. She was her usual lovely, funny, strong-willed little self
Sent a barely closed suitcase of clothes, many of her books and a few 'cot' toys---the rest to follow on Monday.
Spent the rest of the day on mundane tasks, you know, the things that just have to be done, like shopping, washing, cooking, and looking after our other two LOs.
She came back, all ready for bed, with Mummy, Daddy and big sister. I didn't really see her as Mummy took her straight up to bed, where she settled within 2 minutes of them leaving.
This is where it really does feel as though she is just a lodger, she really does just do 'bed and breakfast' until Monday, and even those are supervised by Mummy and/or Daddy.
Not a complaint, just an observation, as I know that this is a tried and tested format, and have been through it many times.
However, I am finding that no matter how many times I have done this, it almost gets harder each time, or perhaps it is just that she is GLO!
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 17, 2014 22:58:57 GMT
Oh IMP ~ that's just so hard, thinking of you and OH; does sound as though things are still going well, which is great x
|
|
|
|
Post by serrakunda on Oct 17, 2014 23:27:03 GMT
I'm sure that all your foslings have a special place in your heart, but maybe the name GLO, says it all, she does seem to have captured your heart
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 18, 2014 3:02:57 GMT
I've not even met her and I'm feeling it, god knows how you feel Imp.xx
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Oct 18, 2014 11:33:04 GMT
Is never an easy thing to do. but I do think that some of these little people just get under our skin more than others. I know the bbs did that for me which is partly why it was so hard to go thro everything I did, and I suspect that current bubs, squidge, may be another one. told him the other day i'm going to keep him forever! I know its not going to happen but he is a bubs I could see myself raising if the opportunity presented itself! and at 5 weeks old he's the youngest that I've been so besotted with! they usually grow on me, but squidge saw an opening and took it! not looking forward to him moving on, whenever that may be. hoping the move goes smoothly next week for GLO and yourselves imp.
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 18, 2014 20:09:11 GMT
Day 9
A somewhat strange, even surreal day today, possibly partially as a result of my waking at 3.30 and not going to sleep again.
We have done nothing for GLO today.
Daddy came and got her up, supervised her breakfast, dressed her and they left---returning this evening with GLO in her pjs, and straight to bed
All as planned
So why have I been expecting her to be around at various moments in the day?
Almost all her belongings have been transferred to her new home---just the essential cot toys, wash things and a few newly laundered clothes to go on Monday (note to self, must not forget to include her Red Book)
BTW, interesting thread on the subject of children's belongings and what they should take with them on the other board. My response will not come as a surprise to most of you.
The unreality continues when she is here briefly, with Daddy, as we have to acknowledge her, but try to be hands off---not easy, but so important, even when it comes to cuddles. I can see why some Adopters might see this as not caring--if only they knew.
Not long now until Monday
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 18, 2014 22:08:22 GMT
Oh IMP, must be so hard  x |
|
|
|
Post by moo on Oct 19, 2014 6:07:31 GMT
{{{{ imp & DH }}}}.....
Hugs for you imp your love is unquestionable what a wonderful gift you have been to GLO xxxx
Thinking of you xxx
xx. moo. Xx
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2014 8:42:43 GMT
It's called dettaching Imp and if parents see that as uncaring, they haven't got a clue, have they?xx
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 19, 2014 18:18:25 GMT
Day 10
Reality is really hitting GLO now.
Having said that, better for her to have a melt down while still here, so that she can be helped by Daddy to settle in the cot she knows.
Daddy gone home (to make the most of their last night as a trio) and GLO settled.
Gifts and card from us for GLO gone back with daddy tonight---saves confusion in the morning.
Just the very last things to pack first thing tomorrow, also have to prepare for elder boy to go to contact (not the easiest mum there----very picky) and also take him to his Adoption Medical in the afternoon. Then a birthday tea for our Grandson and sisters after school----so life goes on.
jmk, totally agree, it's also called 'saving our sanity'
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 19, 2014 18:50:08 GMT
Ahh, lots of things to juggle. Will you have a little break re: a new placement after GLO's moving in day? You do an amazing job for sure x
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 19, 2014 19:32:49 GMT
knight, almost no babies coming into care at the moment, being placed with other family members and/or intensive support at home.
IMO, all down to finance, and very short-sighted as most inevitably come in at a later date---more damaged than ever.
I still have a 7 month old---Intros for him start in a fortnight, and a 12 month old.
I hate having no LOs around, so never look for a break, will just have to see what happens.
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 19, 2014 21:26:15 GMT
I appreciate why in light of last year's case but still - if the threshold for ICOs has been met in similar cases previously, it's being met today so putting in an intensive support package is just going to cause more damage as you say because more often, the BPs can't make the necessary changes in the child's timeframe; very sad all round.
Gosh, another set of intros for you coming up so closely...! Hope you get a new LO soon x
|
|
|
|
Post by imp on Oct 20, 2014 10:52:41 GMT
Day 11
Today we helped to create a new family. 
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Oct 20, 2014 12:16:45 GMT
bitter sweet as ever. hope everything else planned for today goes well and that the other two settle down into their new routines without Glo around.
|
|
x