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Post by sooz on May 14, 2014 18:16:02 GMT
Wasn't sure where to put this!
i wish there was somewhere snooz could let loose, explore, make mistakes, experiment, get up to mischief and just be himself with or without other kids around (other than at home of course, but even that has to have restrictions for health and safety reasons)
does anyone one get what I mean?
maybe I'm just remembering my childhood and the freedoms we had back then, off out on adventures at a young age, getting home covered in mud and ripped trousers and a few bruises...... But learning all the time about life.
I'm just finding everything so restrictive, managed, monitored, corrected and criticised. Where are the freedoms? Why are adults involved in every little thing? Where do kids go that they can take a few risks? How have I turned into an adult that has to watch, pre empt and worry over every little thing?
i know it wasn't perfect back then but does anyone feel it's gone too far the other way? Rules, regulations, warning signs, consent forms, cameras, notices.......
Is there a country I can move to where common sense reigns?
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Post by serrakunda on May 14, 2014 18:26:47 GMT
Do you have a woodcraft folk group near you?
Simba is out with his group tonight at a community wood, cooking on sticks or some such stuff, next week we are going den building in the meadows, the following week they are making kites and catapults, next is flying/firing them on the common, we even have one week set aside just for climbing trees.
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Post by sooz on May 14, 2014 18:37:06 GMT
Ooh, I'll check it out! Thanks xx
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Post by serrakunda on May 14, 2014 18:42:58 GMT
Woodcraftfolk.org.uk
Groups are run by the parents, who set the programmes, but the children get involved with generating ideas, people there tend to be a bit hippyish, very accepting of difference,
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Post by sooz on May 14, 2014 18:49:42 GMT
Just looked, nearest one 8 miles but meet at 15.30 so couldn't get there in time after school, next one 20 miles away Does sound good though!
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Post by kstar on May 14, 2014 18:52:31 GMT
It's really sad isn't it!
I remember groups of us taking off on our bikes for a full day trip, with nothing but a smashed sandwich and some pennies for an ice cream!
I got disapproval the other day for allowing Starlet to walk up and down our safe, dead end, ten house street with her pram the other day... We don't have a garden so she loved it. She knew the rules, stuck to the path, was only allowed to speak to people she knew (she knows all of our neighbours by name) and I left the front door open.
But when I talked about how nice it was to some of the other mums from school, some of them were very snobby about her being too young to be out without an adult... I don't think she needs or wants me there half a step behind while she's playing with baby!
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Post by sooz on May 14, 2014 19:26:45 GMT
I know! I'm finding it so sad.
I don't even mean allowing ds to be unruly really....I'm not advocating bad behaviour, just ....oh I don't know.... Freedom!
(I'll be painting blue stripes across my face before long!)
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Post by kstar on May 14, 2014 19:49:40 GMT
Luckily a friend of mine runs a cafe in our local market town. It's very much aimed at families with young children - it has a lovely play corner with a Wendy house full of stuff and a small ball pool etc plus a table for crafting/ colouring.
The best thing is the attitude - kids are allowed to be kids, make noise, make mess, be nosy and walk around... If the grown ups don't like it, the boss' attitude is that there are plenty of more adult-focused cafés they can go to.
Breath of fresh air!
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Post by serrakunda on May 14, 2014 19:52:18 GMT
PGL camps?
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Post by sockthing on May 14, 2014 19:56:59 GMT
I totally sympathise with this! Kipper is such a sweet boy but so misunderstood when we are out in public!
The only place where we all relaxed when we were away was on the beach, where he was free to run totally amuck, making loads of noise - happy noises, aggressive stressed noises, eccentric sensory noises, he rolled over and over on the wet pebbles getting filthy, running his hands through them, lying in them and making snow angels with the pebbles.
Its true - when I was a child there was a copse behind our house, a tiny thing and we had free reign running in and out from there to out garden. It's hard to imagine that being allowed now. Maybe some of the so called discipline problems in schools is a side-effect of kids being over policed and needing to blow.
How about cubs? I was in the guides and it was a great troop - very freeform and relaxed, I was always good at school and not bad at home, and them I went to guides and just ran wild!
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Post by littlemisscheerful on May 14, 2014 20:36:56 GMT
Not quite what your looking for, but our local soft play centre does sessions for those kids with additional needs. Maybe suit Kipper?
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Post by milly on May 14, 2014 22:01:24 GMT
Dd went to woodcraft for a couple of years. It was good for accepting difference and did some fun things. But allowed over- wild behaviour at times. Also towards the end (ie when she got fed up with it) there was some bullying. Tbh I think it was down to the leader at that time (insofar as anything was "led") - he also managed to organise her a broken leg and got cross with her for crying and making a fuss. We never let her go on a trip with them without one of us helping - we didn't trust them to keep her safe. OK though if you trust your child and they are pretty tough.
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Post by esty (archive) on May 14, 2014 23:40:12 GMT
Think it's vitally important that kids can be kids away from adults.
Little Minnow goes to a relaxed gymnastics club three times a week where the kids work in their own groups and have to be responsible for each other. Still too formal for what you need Sooz. I have also, just this week, let Little Minnow (10) go across the road to football field, out of sight, with his football. There's been no one else there as yet but we've been practicing responses to good and bad scenarios in a non scary way.
By 10 I was playing chicken on the local railway line and floating dingies up the canal. All strictly forbidden but it was what all the local kids did.
LM wasn't ready for cubs as he would have been unable to cope with the possible lack of guidance (I used to take Big Fish and as a teacher used to shudder at the lack of structure) but now reckon he could cope with it. And he was on the street himself 'till 4 years of age so has good road sense.
Perhaps that's a new business venture, unguided rough play areas?
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Post by sooz on May 15, 2014 9:13:52 GMT
I think the fact I have mobility problems doesn't help, long walks in woods, fields, beaches etc are not doable for me but snooz loves all that.
Also, although he is quite a cautious child (I mean he always assesses situations, never jumps straight in) his understanding of the world is maybe not at an 8 year old level.
So yes, rough play, semi monitored for him would be good (don't want much do I? Lol) but still able to make mistakes and get into a few scarpes along the way. Natural consequences.
I do loads of stuff with him, but it's all so 'managed'.
I need a rent a dad!!!
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Post by pingu on May 15, 2014 9:45:59 GMT
I happened to read an article in Guardian a few days ago about unstructured play areas, a few do exist, and I found myself wondering if Adventure Play areas still exist, they were all the rage a few years back, and city farms.
If no Woodcraft Folk local, or not suitable try cubs. Packs do vary,, especially City ones, but if you can find one with good grounds, or who are active outside a lot, then great, but packs tend to be pretty active regardless. They do generally have a bit of structure though, but the scout ethos is learn by adventurous fun and teaching them to manage risk not avoid it and learn by own mistakes.
On a less formal note, find a pond or stream or canal and just sit there at a nice spot and let them explore ( fish net for tadpoles, or gather sticks to make their own toy boat to test) Or take a bus or train or the car out to the countryside and go a walk in the woods. We take our boys hillwalking and rambling, the wilder the better, and they get to be as muddy as they want! At first they said they were bored and were glued to their iPods but then they got engrossed looking at a frog and .......
Ignore the critics,
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Post by serrakunda on May 15, 2014 9:55:57 GMT
I've just had a look at forest schools, it seems that not all of them are run at schools, but other organisations who do camps and weekend activities. Worth a look.
Simba goes to cubs as well as woodcraft folk. His pack isn't that outdoorsy, but the camps are, and when he goes up to scouts at 10 I think they start doing more outdoors stuff
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Post by pingu on May 15, 2014 13:32:34 GMT
You are right serrakunda, a food part of the main scout section programme (10 -14.5yrs) and explorers(14+) is outdoorsy, camping, hikes,fires, wood whittling, wide games, etc.
We took ours to the beach last night (we are fortunate where we stay is on a river estuary) to light fires and cook sausages, and marshmallows and have a game of rounders, other leader was not impressed when the boy who was asked to bring the bat from the hall, had brought a soft one the beavers use, instead of the usual hard one! Games are definitely tougher ( ever heard of parachute.....) the week before that, they built an emergency shelter in nearby woodland. Camps are particularly fun and freedom, a good scout can get through an entire weekend without washing .....
My DS2 used to whine at the least little upset, but scouts has toughening him up a bit!
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Post by esty (archive) on May 15, 2014 21:03:05 GMT
I think Toko has a good idea. I have a male friend who takes LM to chop wood, light fires, etc. someone to do those things that are better if a mum doesn't do them.
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Post by moo on May 16, 2014 15:47:04 GMT
Think we ought to hire a minibus & ship everyone to the farm...
Tiz den building time in the orchard ( in between midwifery duties that is ) All would be welcome.... Kids could go off in safety to one of the fields for an explore ( in skweeks case organise a huntin' good enough sticks for a broom he wants to learn Quiddich in September?? )
We could even combined it with hay making fun?!?! Esty can play with the horses...
Any ideas?!?
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by sooz on May 16, 2014 17:49:10 GMT
I'm up for that!!! Any sweeping jobs or digging jobs and snooz is your man! X
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Post by kstar on May 16, 2014 18:11:28 GMT
Omg I have a 7yr old who would think all her Christmases had come at once!
Throw in some climbable trees and she would be in seventh heaven! (Though my little tomboy would probably do the whole thing in a dress and sandals - tomboy in spirit but girly in dress!)
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Post by esty (archive) on May 16, 2014 18:42:30 GMT
You ought to organise it Moo!!!! We'd come!
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Post by sooz on May 16, 2014 20:04:48 GMT
Yes esty...if she builds it, we will come!
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Post by moo on May 17, 2014 4:51:30 GMT
Food for thought really....
Orchard full of apple trees all differing heights but all ancient cider varieties.... Very good climbers!?!?
It would be such fun.... Hmmmmm.....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by esty (archive) on May 17, 2014 10:59:41 GMT
It doesn't need to be much -
Just a field to camp in, access to water and electricity to charge things important like iPhones sorry I mean feed pumps ;-) and just space to run around.
Running water like a stream or broke an added bonus!
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Post by chotimonkey on May 17, 2014 12:28:26 GMT
when mine are scratchy i take them to the woods where i know not many people go to as there are no gimmicks, no gruffaloes/ slides/water fountains etc... they can run and jump off tree stumps, collect stuff, build little things, poke things through holes, stomp in puddles and mud, get feral, scream shout, wave sticks around, through stones and sticks in the stream, make outside potions, splash about in the river...
its brilliant they get feral dirty but kids are supposed to and its when i get most downtime as they are so engrossed with their stuff that i just need to make sure no-ones in mortal danger, but apart from that its brilliant and they normally sleep like logs afterwards
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Post by moo on May 17, 2014 13:53:32 GMT
Yep all that is very do-able esty.... Running horses on tap too!?!?
Maybe we should seriously consider it..... It's just getting everyone here?!?
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by doubletrouble on May 17, 2014 16:34:47 GMT
Our two would love that too, horses as well! Great Moo!
You could start a camp site for adopted families only - bet it would be popular.
Sounds like you are in the south west with the cider apple orchard. Bit far to trail our caravan from Scotland unfortunately.
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Post by moo on May 17, 2014 16:41:33 GMT
No not quite but a bit far from Scotland!?!! Shame....
Think we will all have to get our thinking caps on about this idea....
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by sooz on May 17, 2014 18:45:16 GMT
Afternoon spent in a village park with a friend who's ds has ADHD and loves playing with sticks! It was fab!
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