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Post by bumbleb33 on Jan 7, 2014 18:10:36 GMT
It's all change again as my husband is now back at work full time. Today was the first day with just me and little bee (no visitors). He was extra clingy and grisly and didn't know what to do with himself. The local children's centre had nothing on today but we're going to try a playgroup tomorrow, fingers crossed that will cheer him up.
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Post by moo on Jan 7, 2014 18:53:20 GMT
Hope he likes the play canter & it cheers him.... Finding a great diversion is stressful but oh so worth it when you find a fave one!!! Will help him settle & he will turn into smiley boy in no time.....
Good Luck....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Jan 7, 2014 19:22:08 GMT
Hey bumblebee In the early days of hubster going back to work number one and I had a toddler group schedule.. Meant I had some time where I didn't have to think if how to entertain lo and got to learn some new tricks . Things that were best for bonding for us Toddler swimming sessions- lots if closeness and trust Tumbletots - again it's you taking your lo round all equipment and helping and sitting on knees for song times etc Messy play - where it was free play abd we could hang out together and explore sensory things (and the mess is not at your house!) And a v little music group where all the kids sit on grown up knees together and did lots of singing clapping jumping etc together Lo was always knackered after swimming and tumbke tots and I used to get excellent nap times (We built these up slowly and by trial and error, tried a couple of groups she didn't like/ were at the wrong time and I still kept the concept of funnelling going, the groups were about different ways of spending time with lo and we stuck v close to each other) It also kept her quite regulated as it gave our weeks a clear and familiar structure Hope you find some fun places near you
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Post by bumbleb33 on Jan 7, 2014 19:35:12 GMT
Little bee loves swimming, we've taken him twice but he hates getting changed so I don't think I could attempt that without hubby to help get him dry. I know it's early days but it's so hard having to carry round a whingy toddler all day long and you can'tget out and about all day every day.
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enid
Bronze Member
Single Adopter
Posts: 75
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Post by enid on Jan 7, 2014 19:49:44 GMT
Have you tried TV? ?? dvds? all good to give yourself a break.
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Post by sivier on Jan 7, 2014 20:00:01 GMT
It is hard bumble and this time of year doesn't help in that a paddling pool in the garden or LO sitting in a sandpit for hours aren't really options. Our AD was placed in October three years ago so went into winter with a troubled, restless clingy/rejecting wee soul who woke early, (boy they were looong days)...we bought some garden stuff indoors! A little slide, a mini trampoline, some soft balls, all squished into our small house. But it really did help. DVDs were a godsend - Peppa, Thomas, Pingu all hits (our AD was 18 months). We have a very child friendly/child designed arts space near where we live...a short drive away, I spent hours just sitting in that whilst AD crawled around. Anything like that near you?
Sending hugs, it really is very hard in the early days with a grieving child and especially before any reliable network develops. Take care of yourself and forget keeping up with housework (yay - embrace those slipping domestic standards!) and find time for a bath and book, or whatever relaxes you. And keep posting. x
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Post by gilreth on Jan 7, 2014 20:21:01 GMT
I have to admit TV & DVDs are a godsend for me at times. Lets me get a few things done (like cooking) without having a 2.5 yr old clinging all the time. We go out to soft play areas, local parks and the like most days just to get out the house - or on play dates with other local adopters including my sister. Also go to Stay 7 Play most weeks which is a real bonus. I have yet to find any toddler groups suitable for my little boy, but will start swimming again this weekend as the local pool is finally reopen (shut at start of September).
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Post by bumbleb33 on Jan 8, 2014 11:15:22 GMT
Boy is now napping after our first time at the local stay and play. He had a lovely time but covered us both in paint and was getting tired so we left after an hour and a quarter. Will try and stay a bit longer tomorrow (and avoid the paint!) I had a few awkward conversations with mum's who didn't know that he's new to me and he went to a couple of people to be picked up which is always hard. Fingers crossed a for a nice afternoon.
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Post by moo on Jan 8, 2014 12:33:04 GMT
Hope you get a breather bumble....
Try chunking your day down.... I used to find this helped me lots & kept my focus on some light at the end of the tunnel...
Try a bath later with oils & fragranced candles..... Really kept my focus cum tea time!!
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by sivier on Jan 8, 2014 13:28:55 GMT
An hour and quarter sounds good going - it may be that's the right sort of duration for now, you can always slowly increase it. Conversations with other mums will get easier too!
I broke up the day into bite sized chunks too, as moo suggests - also really helped. Hope you have a lovely afternoon.
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Post by chotimonkey on Jan 8, 2014 13:59:10 GMT
Hi bumblebee... Just wanted to say that most if the groups we went to were 45 mins to an hour and that was about right for that age And that sometimes a change of scene works wonders,. A friends house with different toys is great for children sick if the sight of their own toys, or a cafe with toys, soft pkay etc if it's nice I bundle kids up and take them out for a splash in puddles/ swing or even just a half hour buggy stroll to blow everyone's cobwebs away, even just a drive with story/ nursery rhyme CDs on. With just one it's a v v v intense time, in someways I find it easier with 3 as they tend to entertain each other... Some times a change of scene changes my mindset a bit and resets me so I can be better with lo. Def helps managing your day into small chunks so both of you know what's coming next... I used to keep myself awake at night worrying about what to do/ feed lo the next day when she was first placed but once we got into a steady routine I never worried about it, I relaxed... She relaxed... It got easier... Once you find your groove it becomes much more enjoyable
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2014 15:21:47 GMT
Have you joined our linking list Bumble? There could be someone round the corner from you who could be in the same boat and would welcome company, have a look/post. Adult company always helps, as you can go a bit do-lally on your own with a baby all day, or was that just me?
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Post by kizim on Jan 8, 2014 16:49:30 GMT
jmk - what linling list? not that Ä° expect to see any in sw turkey....but you never know
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Post by gilreth on Jan 8, 2014 19:52:27 GMT
Have you joined our linking list Bumble? There could be someone round the corner from you who could be in the same boat and would welcome company, have a look/post. Adult company always helps, as you can go a bit do-lally on your own with a baby all day, or was that just me? Â As it happens BumbleBee & I are not very far from each other so are going to try to meet up soon. Plus hoping to introduce her to some of my adopter friends with similar aged children as Sqk is older.... Only reason I stay sane at times is my sister lives close & my prep group are great at staying in contact..otherwise I would struggle.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Jan 9, 2014 11:00:26 GMT
Hoping to meet Gilreth sometime soon, but didn't know about the linking list. Where would I find that?
I woke up feeling poorly today and couldn't face running around stay and play again, so we just had a quick trip to the shops and a friend is coming round later. So far, so good.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2014 11:26:35 GMT
kizim it's on the security board entitled "meeting up with other adopters in your area" and is only visible to members, not any guests or passersby so it's quite secure.
Problem is I don't think anyone is going to be able to meet you unless they fancy a holiday in Turkey?
Right where did I leave my passport ......
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