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Post by nomoretears on Nov 28, 2013 22:33:51 GMT
Today I have been spat at, had a plate thrown at me and been punched in the mouth so hard my lip burst. By a 4 year old. Because we walked past a house that had their Christmas lights on.
We walked home with no indication that anything major had happened, apart from constant requests to put our own decorations up, then all hell let loose when we got inside - screaming that Father Christmas will never visit her, he's never brought her any presents and never will (sadly probably true that he hasn't in the past) and that she doesn't want "stupid f**ing lights anyway!"
Tomorrow she'll be fine. Until we see more decorations. I dread December.
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Post by imp on Nov 28, 2013 22:51:03 GMT
It's so sad isn't it. Must admit that these days it doesn't get me quite like that as we now only have tinies. I do however have memories of Christmas with older LACs, and every one of them was sooooo sad, for a variety of reasons.
There were the ones who just looked at their stockings, didn't know they could open the parcels, then their look of amazement when they saw extra things for them downstairs.
there were the ones who opened every parcel in sight, whether they were for them or not, didn't play with anything, barely looked at anything, just wanted more and more. It was one of these children who then crept downstairs that night and ate almost the whole of the fully iced fruit Christmas cake---he had such a big 'hole' inside him that nothing could fill it.---The most damaged children we ever had.
I could go on---but yes, nomoretears--a very difficult time
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Post by happyone on Nov 28, 2013 23:30:56 GMT
Ow agree with both of you xxx we have seen it all over the years this year we had BF start in November so bed wetting hording and exclusion has followed xxx stocked up on cotton wool to wrap them all in till January xxxx.
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soon2be3
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 72 
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Post by soon2be3 on Nov 29, 2013 6:48:13 GMT
My AS spent 8 Christmas's either in care or with BM - if I have worked that out right. This is his 3rd Christmas with us. He still can't say what he would like for Christmas or write a list as he is used to getting nothing. Last year he had his stocking in his bedroom, he woke up and went straight past it. Came into us and we asked if Father Christmas had been. He said he didn't think so and would not go and have a look as he really believed he would have nothing  It is so sad that when our children have had nothing, one of the last bits of magic is taken from them. The Christmas build up can bring back so many memory's. We have to batten down the hatch and try to breath from now until January. |
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Post by moo on Nov 29, 2013 12:04:32 GMT
Ooohh ladies you are all so wonderful & awe inspiring all of this extreme sadness & fallout that you have witnessed & deal so amazingly with.... Bottles of mulled wine & chocs on there way....  
Nmt hope your lip & bruises heal quickly.... ( boxing gloves me thinks for Christmas!!! ) 
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by loadsofbubs on Nov 29, 2013 13:44:29 GMT
yesterday I had squishy munchkins mum at my house for contact. I have already put out the wooden nativity advent calendar bought for squishy munchkin (I get one for every child who arrives on or near chirstmas). mum looked at it amazed and asked if I always have one of these out, so I said yes, its just part of the build up to Christmas for us as a family. she was amazed by the whole concept of advent calenders, even the chocolate one for my AS. and I strongly suspect that in her home she has never had this herself. very sad. there are of course far worse things a child can be deprived of, but its such a simple thing to do and wasn't for her. she's only a baby herself bless her and she looked very envious.
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Post by mudlark on Dec 10, 2013 22:12:25 GMT
I haven't read this thread before...but am so glad I did
what a brilliant job the foster carers did for our two LO's .. they both talk of their foster carers and their families with such affection.. we often draw pictures of them and send them imaginary letters and postcards.... little lapwing today made a Christmas card for her foster carer and we posted it off with a loving kiss.... little lapwing and peewit had great foster carers and we send our thanks to all those who give these children a safe place when they need it.
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Post by pirate on Dec 10, 2013 22:40:52 GMT
So touching reading this thread.
I've met foster carers at pre adoption course and since then been introduced to a parent that is a foster carer too.
Hats off, to the damaged children you deal with.
So so sad that not all kids have had a festive happy experience previous.
When I had our sw out last week, she told us not to base their recommendations etc on our child but have to imagine an adopted child. I'm understanding more and more.
Hugs to you.
Pirate
Xxxx
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Post by happyone on Dec 11, 2013 0:38:50 GMT
Well the cherry on the Christmas cake was "pupil referral unit for 6 weeks" ho ho bl,,dy ho !!!!! But not till January cannot get people to understand the angel will be back in January !!!!!!
Breath deep !!!!!
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Post by imp on Dec 11, 2013 11:27:18 GMT
Really with you happyone, understanding still doesn't happen. School at this time of year is just a disaster zone. countdown to the day can't come soon enough for you, for a totally different reason---here's to normality in 3 weeks time, when it's all over. (So thankful we now only have tinies, so the only problems we now have are around contact and Mums demands/unsuitable clothes and toys)
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Post by loadsofbubs on Dec 11, 2013 16:48:49 GMT
oh yay! unsuitable toys! have takena sneaky peak at the ones great grandparents brought for squishy munchkin last week, and phew, they are sensible and age appropriate, good quality etc but in the past have had the oddest and most unsuitable toys for tiny children from some birth parents. they seem to think a lot of tat is better than one good quality toy. sad. am also expecting a large number ( I have been told by mum!) of electronic toys for squishy form family. my favourite, noisy toys, but at least batteries mean they WILL die eventually!
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Post by happyone on Dec 11, 2013 18:07:21 GMT
One of my older ones this year will be getting 3 yes 3 I pad things. All 3 families involved have decided on the same gift even though iv told them the situation. OMG I just hope two of them let her down !!!!!
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