Little Man (statemented) struggling with (mainstream) school

I would also maybe question what it is that your LO is getting out of mainstream primary? The Head's theory of 'learning from role models' is often a reason given for inclusion - but many children are incapable of learning in this way and need more direct teaching of social and behavioural skills.

I often wonder how much parents are supported in understanding that a choice made now does not have to last forever; the annual review is as much a review of whether the school placement is right as it is of everything else. You could go to a specialised school for a year or two and then work back into mainstream if that was appropriate by then (I'm sure another adopter's son is currently doing this so maybe they'll respond later - Serrakunda?) Some LAs also offer split placements so that children can get specific suport from a specialist school but also have the experience of mainstream/inclusion - children I have worked with often have had the same LSA in both schools so there is more of a feeling of continuity and more understanding of the child. You may find that some time in a less busy, more individualised environment would enable his anxiety levels to reduce enough for him to re-access mainstream later on.

Maybe go and visit some of the other options available; some of them may undertake outreach work and be able to support your current school if you decide against a move.

I can understand how it must feel like a massive decision to make - but it really is not then set in stone. Change is difficult but good change is worthwhile and you may need to consider different school placements at other times during his development as well so don't place pressure on yourself to 'get it right' as these sort of choices can be reversed or modified as necessary. You sound as if in your head you have already made the decision and are just waiting for your heart to catch up with it!

 I would take a look at the special schools and see what they have to offer. Simba goes to special school and it is a huge dilemma,  although he has learning difficulties and autism,  he is academically and behaviourally way in front of most of his classmates, but he would be way down the bottom in so many ways in mainstream and I think his self esteem is too fragile for that at the moment.  

I sort of understand the point about role models,  but they won't be role models if he spends most of his time outside of the classroom somewhere separate with a TA, and he can't make friends or gets picked on etc.

I dont think of special school as being segregated, its just the best place for Simba.  He gets lots of opportunities to meet other children at cubs, swimming lessons etc.  What always does it for me is when I see Simba playing with his friends at school - there is such a wide range of abilities and behaviours but they just all muck in together and no one cares or even notices about the 'quirks' because they all have them.  When I compare that to how Simba is at cubs etc,  he always gravitates to the much younger children, not that the older ones are horrible to him, but he just isn't on their wavelength,  the younger ones are who is happy with. We are starting an inclusion opportunity at mainstream school in January and it will be interesting to see how he responds when he has to stay within his own peer group.

There are compromises -for example lots of children in Simba's school dont have speech and all the children learn to sign.  Its nice but Simba doesnt need to sign and sometimes I wish he didnt 'waste' his time learning it,  but the overall benefits of being in a class of 13 with 3 staff outweigh the few niggles

It can't hurt to have a look around and weigh up all the considerations

My girls were both at mainstream primary, both 25 hrs statements and for us it got worse as they got older and the gaps between them and their peers widened. I started looking at secondary schools when ED was in yr 4, a couple of Sencos thought she'd cope, but i was not convinced.
We ended up moving them both to special school when ED was yr5, YD yr4.
We have some similar issues to what Serrakunda describes, - we have a very wide intake. Our biggest issue is that there is a small pool of likeminded kids to form friendships with, and because the catchment is so large, everyone is miles away.
However, they are happy, they are popular, they are both seen as clever girls (this was not how they were viewed, or viewed themselves at MS).
I cannot imagine what our lives would be like if they were at mainstream secondary.
I would think it would be worth looking to see what alternatives there are, even if you don't want to make an immediate change.
My experience has also been that the more able kids have joined our school in yr 5 & 6.

Hi all,

does anyone have any thoughts on my latest questions? Thank you :-)

I'm not 100% sure. I know school have told me we will look to change the statement for my ds in year 4. That's so it will be set up and ready for secondary.

I was told by the office that issues statements in our la that having a statement for special provision does not mean your child cannot stay in mainstream if you choose.

Pasw was fab in helping get statement for my ds so maybe look at getting help there? Xx