Post by flora on Nov 23, 2013 15:08:43 GMT
I'm hoping that this is posted in the right place
Our adopted son has been with us since March of this year, he was 23-months on placement and is now just over 2.5. Everything has gone as well as we could have hoped - and although he was obviously shocked by the move, he mostly seems a very happy and settled little boy, with no obvious behavioural issues beyond the usual contrariness of toddlers - and his development has come on in leaps and bounds since his placement.
He had been in a small foster home since birth, with wonderful foster carers - and my impression from seeing their relationship during introductions, was that he was securely attached to them. He obviously liked us during introductions and seemed to bond well (particularly to me and later my husband) and was happy to accept our care.
The only worry I have, is that I sense a little ambivalence when he is upset or needing comforting. If he falls over, he will cry and will want to be picked up for a cuddle - however, after a few seconds he'll start crying for his teddy and dummy and once he has these will push away and want to get down (although will want me to stay close). He had quite a nasty fall on our first day of introductions - and I remember him being comforted by his foster mum and then continuing to lie in her arms, making eye contact, as she stroked his face - and I do worry that we will never be able to match this connection and I would really like to do everything I can to help him know that he can trust us.
I do lots of theraplay type games every day, which he enjoys and he allows me to feed him and his eye contact is great - but does anyone have any other advice - or is this just normal and to be expected (we are still very early days)? I've spoken to other family members and they think I'm being over sensitive. However, I would like to do everything I can whilst he is still little enough to get the maximum benefit.
I might just be looking for problems and making something out of nothing - I think in some ways I'm a bit surprised that we haven't had more problems and that it had all gone a little too well
Thanks for any advice
Our adopted son has been with us since March of this year, he was 23-months on placement and is now just over 2.5. Everything has gone as well as we could have hoped - and although he was obviously shocked by the move, he mostly seems a very happy and settled little boy, with no obvious behavioural issues beyond the usual contrariness of toddlers - and his development has come on in leaps and bounds since his placement.
He had been in a small foster home since birth, with wonderful foster carers - and my impression from seeing their relationship during introductions, was that he was securely attached to them. He obviously liked us during introductions and seemed to bond well (particularly to me and later my husband) and was happy to accept our care.
The only worry I have, is that I sense a little ambivalence when he is upset or needing comforting. If he falls over, he will cry and will want to be picked up for a cuddle - however, after a few seconds he'll start crying for his teddy and dummy and once he has these will push away and want to get down (although will want me to stay close). He had quite a nasty fall on our first day of introductions - and I remember him being comforted by his foster mum and then continuing to lie in her arms, making eye contact, as she stroked his face - and I do worry that we will never be able to match this connection and I would really like to do everything I can to help him know that he can trust us.
I do lots of theraplay type games every day, which he enjoys and he allows me to feed him and his eye contact is great - but does anyone have any other advice - or is this just normal and to be expected (we are still very early days)? I've spoken to other family members and they think I'm being over sensitive. However, I would like to do everything I can whilst he is still little enough to get the maximum benefit.
I might just be looking for problems and making something out of nothing - I think in some ways I'm a bit surprised that we haven't had more problems and that it had all gone a little too well
Thanks for any advice
