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Post by greyspeckledhen on Sept 13, 2013 14:52:36 GMT
I have cried buckets today. Having some psychotherapy and it is so hard.
I've checked in at AUK original and feel so sad to see all the goodbye posts then I've dipped in here and it is lovely to feel I've come home. I'm away for the weekend, so I won't be around but I just wanted to say thanks everybody for making it feel warm and cosy here in such a short time. xx
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Post by mayan on Sept 13, 2013 15:02:29 GMT
Hugs GSH - thinking of you
Mxx
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Post by serrakunda on Sept 13, 2013 15:51:23 GMT
Hope you have/had a good weekend
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Post by larsti on Sept 13, 2013 16:17:29 GMT
Hugs GSH
Larsti x
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Post by moo on Sept 13, 2013 16:22:01 GMT
{{{{{{hugs GSH}}}}}}. Hope you get space to chill over the weekend..... I aggree it feels like home here already.... Lovin it   Xx. moo. Xx |
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Post by loadsofbubs on Sept 13, 2013 17:54:36 GMT
I've just finished (today in fact), 18 sessions of psychotherapy and it does have a tendency to rake up tough stuff. I went becoz of what happened with the blonde bombshell (AKA small bubs), but learnt so much about myself and why I had the extreme reaction to it that I did, where that all came from. I was usually fine in sessions, but little things outside of them would hit triggers and leave me in pieces. but am out the other side now, it has been a very useful learning curve for me, even while painful to do. hope yours is as therapeutic for you.
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Post by haze on Sept 13, 2013 18:25:44 GMT
I am currently in a break from the CBT I have been having to try to help with the panic attacks I had been having caused by oldest's extreme behaviour.
I have to say it has been hard going and has raked up some pretty BIG emotions & memories but has helped me. The break is to see if I can maintain things without further sessions which is quite challenging...
I hope you have a relaxing wkend GSH.
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Post by lemonade on Sept 13, 2013 18:28:12 GMT
Thinking of you and wishing you the best
Love
L xx
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Post by vickyvixen on Sept 13, 2013 20:19:45 GMT
Hi, just wanted to say have a lovely weekend - & pamper yourself! X
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Post by annie70 on Sept 13, 2013 22:35:10 GMT
wishing you a lovely weekend away GSH - and looking forward to being part of this community of amazing, warm and supportive bods with you  Ax |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 12:22:31 GMT
Sending hugs GSH.
It is so hard when we soak up everyone else's hurt and trauma and sometimes we need to think about ourselves for a change. I had counselling this year from feb-july as I became very down after ex left and was really struggling to cope and it really helped me. She made me realize that I was important too. We all focus on our children and tend to forget that we have needs too and we are also important. Remember if we go down the whole family does too.
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Sept 14, 2013 18:41:56 GMT
I'm back sooner than expected. I was camping at a festival but instead of successfully putting the tent pole in it's metal thing I managed to ping it into my eye. Thankfully I can still see (had a scary few moments when I thought I'd lost my sight in that eye) and I survived the night with the two children I'd brought with me thanks to the st John ambulance man and his ice pack but having had a rubbish night's sleep and feeling in pain and sorry for myself we've come home early. :-(.
Back home and everyone is argumentative and stroppy so I may live to regret bailing out...here's hoping I get some sleep tonight.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 18:47:35 GMT
That sounds horrendous GSH, glad to hear your eye is ok. As someone who "hates" camping, you've just given me yet another excuse to never do it  Sorry - I'm not taking the Michael with the eye patch - Just couldn't resist it 
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Sept 14, 2013 18:59:30 GMT
Thanks, the eye patch made me smile. how do you get the smileys?
warm and fuzzy - I think that got lost somewhere. must go get an early night. Actually I would recommend both psychotherapy and camping but camping in the rain and poking myself in the eye maybe wasn't the best way of recovering from yesterday. My family are all feeling paranoid that people will think they caused the black eye (would do a winking smiley but don't know how).
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Sept 14, 2013 19:00:17 GMT
Thanks, the eye patch made me smile. how do you get the smileys? warm and fuzzy - I think that got lost somewhere. must go get an early night. Actually I would recommend both psychotherapy and camping but camping in the rain and poking myself in the eye maybe wasn't the best way of recovering from yesterday. My family are all feeling paranoid that people will think they caused the black eye (would do a winking smiley but don't know how). ah I found them. |
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meno
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Post by meno on Sept 14, 2013 19:56:56 GMT
ouch...sounds painful and thank goodness you are ok...could have been terrible...
you need a lovely rest...
like a lot of you on this thread...I had some counselling recently..
i had to end it..
It began to start to focus on something in my life I thought was sorted...but due to all the stress we all live with, and I had a ton of adoption stress last year...it was adding to it rather than making things clearer and helping me to move forward.
I think adopters are hard on themselves.
much harder...so very much harder than birthparents...
please remember...its the kids who have the problems, its the kids who bring it into our lives...
you don't have to change, improve, sort, be different.
you are just perfect, just as you are..warts and all......the thing that changes is that we get lost....so lost in our kids...in their stuff...in the feeling that forever and a day..life will be so darn challening how the hell will be get through it...
sorry if this is way off mark here and apologise if this is too shouty.....but if you are going through some heavy therapy....then YOU are the most important person in your world whilst you are going through that...
not the kids..
not the family..
not your partner
YOU...
none of us should be trying to be everything to everybody....your first loyalty is to yourself.....I really mean this....
learnt it the hard way.
please take very good care of yourselves..all of you..precious people
and especially my friend gsh..
will pm you.
xxx
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Sept 14, 2013 20:14:38 GMT
Thanks, and not off the mark. Actually a lot of yesterday's session was focusing on how to let myself be loyal to myself. Always too many other people to worry about and my fear of mr gsh crashing if I'm not holding everyone, is not paranoia. Although I know it is their stuff, I can't change them, so if I can change me and make me better able to cope without triggering my own stuff - I'll do it. However hard it is, it will be easier than trying to change anyone else. I think somewhere down the line it's going to mean I feel better. But for now, it feels hard. And coping with normal planet adoption stuff on top of it, and moving house stuff, and my mum moving house, and mr Gsh's stuff......well it could make anyone poke themself in the eye with a tent pole |
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Post by phoebe on Sept 14, 2013 20:31:25 GMT
GSH I am so sorry to hear about your tent pole catastrophe. Thing is, when you are tired, everyday tasks become very dangerous, don't they? At my most exhausted I have nearly crashed my car due to trying to think too much and not being fully alert. Sometimes your body just has to make you call it quits.
It's a funny thing how your mind organises it for you to get clumsy and you never suspect a thing! Hoping you have a properly restful night and the eye isn't too sore. I find that really gentle eye make up remover by Liz Earle very soothing when left on cotton wool pads for a bit. You can usually get it from QVC and John Lewis. Might be worth a go.
Warmest wishes,
Phoebe x
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Post by larsti on Sept 14, 2013 21:07:51 GMT
Really sorry to hear about your eye GSH  Sending lots of love from me and hoping that next week you can fit in something for you...all the house stuff can wait. Larsti x |
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Post by ham on Sept 15, 2013 10:34:28 GMT
hugs. Life can never be straight forward.
Hope today is a better day for you
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Sept 15, 2013 21:12:54 GMT
I'm trying to fit in a change of therapy session for this week (the therapist couldn't do the friday after all) around a conference I'm going to and my mum coming to sort out carpets and decorating etc for the house she is moving to soon (and other family appointments etc). So, there's one hour I could possibly arrange it for but my mum will still be here and I've got lots on the next day. What do I do, I ask mr GSh...empathetic answer; "It isn't really a priority compared with all the stuff that's in our face and as you are busy the next day I think you are F****ing nuts to do it then". He might be right, but I could really do with a more understanding reply. My next session will be a week on thursday which feels like ages away.  phoebe - I have also nearly crashed the car when preoccupied so yes I should take note and take time out after therapy....never easy to do that though as life doesn't ever stop. |
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Post by larsti on Sept 15, 2013 22:06:16 GMT
'I think a short break from therapy would be timely'............that's what Mr GSH meant I am sure  Hugs One day at a time GSH Larsti x |
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Ax
Sorry - I'm not taking the Michael with the eye patch - Just couldn't resist it 
