soon2be3
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 72 
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Post by soon2be3 on Nov 16, 2013 22:25:42 GMT
Hi Have some issues with school. To cut a very long rant short, school know AS can not cope with the unstructured play at break times. Specialist OT have said the same. I have offered to pay for a midday supervisor to facilitate play with my AS and a group. HT said "he needs to learn to manage his ADHD". AS has recent dx of ADHD and attachment disorder. School have been on attachment training but nothing has worked for any period of time, have parent teacher meeting next week. Does anyone have a simple guide to attachment that I can give to teacher and HT? May get printed on a T-shirt as well  sorry, it was not really cut short  |
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Post by happyone on Nov 16, 2013 22:39:55 GMT
Does the school not have a nurture group silly question obviously not xx
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soon2be3
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Married Adopter
Posts: 72
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Post by soon2be3 on Nov 16, 2013 22:49:08 GMT
They did have but it was cut last year. We have had a calm box, taken fruit smoothies in for after lunch, had an attachment figure, used very positive praise BUT they see an improvement and stop it!!!!! They just do not understand and have me down as a neurotic mother. I don't care what they think of me but they need to help my AS. I can't understand why they will put nothing in place and discipline him when he can't cope. He is really not enjoying school which us such a shame as he used to love it. I have completed a fact sheet for the new teacher, been in and explained as much as I could to her and asked for weekly feedback so I can see if there are any patterns etc. not feeling that I am getting any support from school at the moment. We are under CAMH's so I will call them Monday and ask for a meeting.
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Nov 17, 2013 8:08:13 GMT
I would ask them whether they use a similar approach with children with physical disabilities? If he was in a wheelchair, would they expect him to learn to walk without it.
The Louise Bomber book is really good and practical.
My EDs yr2 teacher did some unscientific testing, - she found if she kept my dd less than 15ft away, she felt safe and didn't do anything that she shouldn't.
No easy answers when school are being less than helpful.
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Post by justbserene11 on Nov 17, 2013 8:46:23 GMT
I am so sorry to hear that your son is not being supported in the way that he needs. What littlemisscheerful has said is right.....will they be saying this come next year (all adopted children will have a PP and OFSTED will look closely at how the school will be supporting these children)? Will it help if you were to write to the HT and governors? At least this way it will be on file and they will need to respond to you.
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soon2be3
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 72
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Post by soon2be3 on Nov 17, 2013 9:08:03 GMT
Thank you all, I live in a Hertfordshire so will start with the one from their own council! I have given them the Louise Bomber book. I am a parent Governor at the school so you would think that would help ...... I think they just caught me at the wrong moment and totally off guard. I am going to print out done of these guards, strap the body armour on and go prepared and with a smile on my face  Thank you very much for your support, kind words, help and suggestions. |
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Post by kstar on Nov 17, 2013 9:11:14 GMT
If it helps, I can send you an article I have just written for our teachers at the school I teach in? It's a secondary so not all of the advice on the last page will be relevant, but I have tried to write it in teacher speak!
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Nov 17, 2013 9:23:43 GMT
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Post by shadow on Nov 17, 2013 10:17:46 GMT
google calmer classrooms Australia - good stuff about traumatised children at school - also louise bomber "Inside I am hurting"
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Post by bagpuss72 on Nov 17, 2013 13:39:21 GMT
((Big Hugs)) to you. I understand just how frustrating this is for you. My 8 year old is having similar problems with unstructured playtimes too. I don’t have any answers as yet but would also recommend the Herts County Council and AUK Lets Learn together document. These helped us last year in year 2 to get some understanding from his teacher over various playground incidents, but his teacher/senco this year has just dismissed them out of hand, and said Bert has got to learn and make an effort to get on with it.
Since the start of the summer term there has been a problem with 2 groups of 8 boys, having trouble getting on and fighting when left unsupervised. One group consists of the cool, football playing lads and the other which my lad is in, are obsessed with fighting games or just generally inappropriate behaviour, inevitably someone gets left out or hurt. They have tried nurture groups in the past which had no effect, frequent visits to the head and DS is starting another group session this week to deal with friendships. Like you say, they see an improvement, so stop doing what is helping and of course the situation deteriorates again.
I would stress that at Bert’s school it is a really varied mix of kids that are proving difficult for both the teachers supervising break time, also the lunchtime supervision staff. Some have issues like DS with attachment & ADHD behaviour, whilst others have family problems and some have no obvious reasons for their behaviour at all. One lads Mum has taken to removing him at lunchtime, which is really frowned upon, because she has had enough of it. Not a great solution if you are working though.
I really hope someone listens to you and things start to improve for you and your son soon.
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soon2be3
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Married Adopter
Posts: 72
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Post by soon2be3 on Nov 17, 2013 16:00:49 GMT
Thank you, you have just described our school! I have the documents printed ready for parent teacher consultation this week. May have to blow slimming world and have chocolate before and afterwards |
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