Post by lilka on Nov 12, 2013 22:22:35 GMT
After a rather spectacular tantrum earlier this morning, DD has actually been pretty calm this evening
She let me brush her hair while she sat at my feet
Our conversation went something like this:
she stamped her hand on my foot (I think probably an accident)
"Ouch"
"huh?..."
"You hit my foot with your hand, and it hurt"
"Oh...sorry"
"That's okay...why are you sorry?"
"I said sorry because i hit your hand"
"Right, that's how you use the word sorry, well done. How do you feel inside when you say sorry"
........silence
"DD?"
"Uh...."
"Do you think that people feel something when they say sorry?"
"Umm...sorry isn't a feeling, is it? You say it when people get upset with you"
Confirmation of something I already knew, she doesn't feel real remorse
I think she has some empathy but it's limited, and disguised by some (taught by me, very patiently) knowledge of how to react in certain situations ie. you say sorry when you accidently hit someone. If I hadn't asked 'why are you sorry?" and you read that conversation up to that point, she would seem totally normal.
I am sure some of your kids have the same issue
Have any of you worked successfully on remorse? I don't expect her to feel 'neurotypical' feelings as it were or ever manage to feel remorse like I would feel it, but I'm wondering if there's any hope she can develop her empathy at all? Like go from a 2 to a 4 on a scale of 1-10?
She let me brush her hair while she sat at my feet
Our conversation went something like this:
she stamped her hand on my foot (I think probably an accident)
"Ouch"
"huh?..."
"You hit my foot with your hand, and it hurt"
"Oh...sorry"
"That's okay...why are you sorry?"
"I said sorry because i hit your hand"
"Right, that's how you use the word sorry, well done. How do you feel inside when you say sorry"
........silence
"DD?"
"Uh...."
"Do you think that people feel something when they say sorry?"
"Umm...sorry isn't a feeling, is it? You say it when people get upset with you"
Confirmation of something I already knew, she doesn't feel real remorse
I think she has some empathy but it's limited, and disguised by some (taught by me, very patiently) knowledge of how to react in certain situations ie. you say sorry when you accidently hit someone. If I hadn't asked 'why are you sorry?" and you read that conversation up to that point, she would seem totally normal.
I am sure some of your kids have the same issue
Have any of you worked successfully on remorse? I don't expect her to feel 'neurotypical' feelings as it were or ever manage to feel remorse like I would feel it, but I'm wondering if there's any hope she can develop her empathy at all? Like go from a 2 to a 4 on a scale of 1-10?
