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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 11, 2013 20:21:14 GMT
But now I think I'm finally earning my adopter t-shirt!!
When I was active on the old boards Little Prince was quite small and had no apparent problems!! Now he's 10 and things are very different!! He's diagnosed with quite a few special needs, he has a Statement at school and needs support for both behaviour and class work. He is a lovely, charming, intelligent little lad who I love to distraction, but who sometimes drives me insane with his behaviour. His primary school is reasonably supportive and the high school we've chosen has a great special needs dept, now we just have to get him ready for the big move!! Our first step will be to persuade him it is actually going to happen, no matter what...
Since I was last on the boards, we have added the wonderful Princess Lollipop to our family, we adopted her from overseas when she was a baby. She has various issues due to her early care the most debilitating being she hasn't yet slept through the night! Despite all Little Prince's special needs I find the lack of sleep hardest to deal with and have put on massive amounts of weight and am on anti depressants. And to top this Princess Lollipop idolises her big brother and copies all his quirky and out of control behaviours. We don't think she has similar special needs as she is fine at school with no problems at all (so far). She is an amazingly resilient little girl who despite all her early experiences is happy, confident funny and absolutely gorgeous.
I've grown a very thick skin at the school gate, and just wanted to reconnect to people who understand...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2013 20:34:47 GMT
Welcome back to Planet Adoption Gertie we missed ya!  |
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Post by lilka on Nov 11, 2013 20:36:37 GMT
You're not (were not) a fraud just because your child is (or was) doing very well
But yes, I completely understand
You reach a point where there's an obvious and inescapable large gulf between you and any other parent who doesn't have a very challenging special needs child (even if the other parents don't seem to see it) and you can't cross it.
My 17 year old has been AWFUL this last weekend. I've only told one person who isn't an adoptive parent (my best friend) but she does 'get it' to a large extent, because she chooses to read books and educate herself, and she also sees a lot of DD's behaviour...other than that, only told adoptive parents. I won't be telling anyone else. They wouldn't get it. I see parents complaining about their childrens latest behaviour issue...my sons friends mum and I were chatting on Friday and she talked about what is (to me) a pretty minor issue indeed, but seems major to her. She asked me I handle that kind of thing! I had to be very non-committal and vague and change the subject. What if I really told her what they can get up to? Mainly DD2. What if I told her what my DD did this weekend? I can se her jaw hitting the floor in my minds eye. Totally huge gulf
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Post by shadow on Nov 11, 2013 20:42:33 GMT
wow Gertie is back
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 11, 2013 20:55:28 GMT
Thanks for the welcome everyone, I'm humbled that anyone actually remembers me (waves to jmk, shadow and Madrid)!!!
There are only a few parents from Little Prince's class that speak to me, and fewer still that will invite him to play or to parties. I can cope with it for me but get so upset for him :-( If they knew of his latest escapades I've no doubt there would be even fewer of them talking to me!!
At least with Princess Lollipops class I'm starting afresh lol, none of them have much older children so they don't know about Little Prince.
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 11, 2013 20:57:07 GMT
PS I can't believe Shadette is 16!! I feel a bit like Rip Van Winkle coming home and finding so much time has passed!!
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Nov 11, 2013 21:21:09 GMT
Welcome. The lack of friendships is the hardest thing for me. When my ED was in yr 4, there was a party and only DD and 1 other girl weren't invited out of 60 kids.
Hopefully secondary school will be more successful for you.
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Post by happyone on Nov 11, 2013 21:48:16 GMT
No words just sending a big hug xxx
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Post by smileycat on Nov 11, 2013 23:27:28 GMT
Oh lack of sleep is just the worst.. I really feel for you. I had a terrible time when Spud joined us because he just didn't sleep. Still not great but much improved since I got melatonin prescribed. Are you in touch with the community paediatrician at all or I think I've heard others say CAHMS as they can prescribe it. Took a while to really help but now it is making the world of difference and when Spud wakes in the night I can re-dose and know he will be asleep again quite soon.
Ah the copying behaviours that's a good one eh! I finds myself saying- could you copy the non crazy behaviours please- but Mummy those are boring- come try banging the wash bin (metal) it's good fun.... hmmm- as my head is splitting I may give it a miss!!!
Welcome back to Planet Adoption- it's good here- everyone speaks the same language. :-)
SC x x
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 11, 2013 23:48:24 GMT
Hi Smileycat, We aren't in touch with anyone re Princess Lollipop as her sleep issues seem to be due to anxiety. She will wake up from a deep sleep and need to be with me and Daddy, she has to be touching at least one of us and is scared stiff if she wakes up alone  Due to her early experiences we give her the reassurance she needs, her bed is in our room and she starts the night in there, but joins us in our bed every night. After all this time I sometimes don't even remember her getting in with us so I'm getting more sleep than I used to Little Prince is on melatonin and it helps him, he is prescribed it through his ADHD Paed and I just assumed it was only available through hospital. I might try talking to our GP again, as now she's started school she is extremely tired (and foul tempered) in the evenings, when Little Prince is also experiencing his post medication crash and it's bleeping hard work!! It would be wonderful if she would copy big brothers calm behaviour, but as he is only supposed to take his Ritalin for school she doesn't often see him calm!! Her best friend at school is an active, loud little boy too, calm quiet children must seem boring to her lol Thank you for the welcome x |
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Nov 11, 2013 23:58:54 GMT
Hi Gertie - how lovely to see you here!
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 12, 2013 0:03:47 GMT
Hi gsh, lovely to see you here too So many familiar names, it feels like old times |
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Post by moo on Nov 12, 2013 4:51:07 GMT
Welcome Gertie.... Good to meet you...
Lack of sleep one torture I really couldn't manage.....  Sleep is my only down time.....  Respect... 
So glad you are home....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by oysterbabe on Nov 12, 2013 6:18:06 GMT
Welcome gertie I remember your name from the pre bubbles place. Glad you are here and lovely to hear you have a little princess too now!
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Post by peartree on Nov 12, 2013 7:38:13 GMT
Hello Bertie! Pear tree here My brood are now 18 16 and 6 Amazing huh Thing that I like to see is how much love there is for quirky young people we have the privilege to know Blossy is in a unit not far from here so enjoy seeing her much more and partridge is in his 3rd yr at college Pip is year 1 :-0 Good to hear from you |
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 12, 2013 9:00:24 GMT
Thanks everyone, it really is lovely to be back Hubby has just taken the Littlies to school, so I'm off for a quick nap Night night |
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Post by gilreth on Nov 12, 2013 9:03:44 GMT
Can relate to sleep fun. Sqk actually sleeps very well most of the time but I have had some fun since he was placed. At the moment he is a happy settled boy with no issues so I also feel like a fraud occasionally but we are still very early in placement so that may also be a factor.
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 12, 2013 16:01:46 GMT
Can relate to sleep fun. Sqk actually sleeps very well most of the time but I have had some fun since he was placed. At the moment he is a happy settled boy with no issues so I also feel like a fraud occasionally but we are still very early in placement so that may also be a factor. Don't knock the fact that your little one is settled, fingers crossed he stays that way, but if not we're all here |
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Post by smileycat on Nov 13, 2013 0:01:37 GMT
Hi Smileycat, We aren't in touch with anyone re Princess Lollipop as her sleep issues seem to be due to anxiety. She will wake up from a deep sleep and need to be with me and Daddy, she has to be touching at least one of us and is scared stiff if she wakes up alone Due to her early experiences we give her the reassurance she needs, her bed is in our room and she starts the night in there, but joins us in our bed every night. After all this time I sometimes don't even remember her getting in with us so I'm getting more sleep than I used to Little Prince is on melatonin and it helps him, he is prescribed it through his ADHD Paed and I just assumed it was only available through hospital. I might try talking to our GP again, as now she's started school she is extremely tired (and foul tempered) in the evenings, when Little Prince is also experiencing his post medication crash and it's bleeping hard work!! It would be wonderful if she would copy big brothers calm behaviour, but as he is only supposed to take his Ritalin for school she doesn't often see him calm!! Her best friend at school is an active, loud little boy too, calm quiet children must seem boring to her lol Thank you for the welcome x Ah Gertiedquidge (great name  bless them eh- your evenings sound exhausting... Your Lo sounds a lot like Spud re sleep. His sleep issues are a mixture of good old ADHD traits and anxiety. He too needs closeness at times in the night- which is why I should be asleep and not posting but hey!! Melatonin can help in these instances but he still needs the cuddles, what I find is melatonin syrup will get him to sleep faster than just a cuddle alone and get him back in his cot so I sleep better... The GP can't prescribe melatonin but can refer you to the community paediatrician who can prescribe it... when we got seen I made sure I didn't wear any make up so they could see how tired I was!!! Good luck!!! SC x |
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Post by gertiesquidge on Nov 13, 2013 10:29:11 GMT
Hi Smileycat, Your name is great too Evenings are definitely not my favourite time of day!! And tonight we get to fit in Princess Lollipops swimming lesson too, which she loves, once we get there!! I'll definitely go and talk to our GP about a referral to the community paed. Thanks for the no make up tip, but as its a good day if I brush both my hair and my teeth in the same morning I don't think it will make much difference lol |
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Due to her early experiences we give her the reassurance she needs, her bed is in our room and she starts the night in there, but joins us in our bed every night. After all this time I sometimes don't even remember her getting in with us so I'm getting more sleep than I used to 
Sleep is my only down time..... 
Respect... 
bless them eh- your evenings sound exhausting...