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Post by bumbleb33 on Nov 6, 2013 14:37:12 GMT
We're starting intros in a few weeks and have our nursery all ready for our 1 year old boy to move into. However, as he is currently sleeping in his FC's bedroom our SW has advised us to do the same. (I think it's a space issue rather than for his needs). I'm not against having him in our room, but I fear it is just another adjustment to make going from FC to our room to his room. What do people think? Keep him in with us for a bit? Then when do we move him into his own room??
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Post by annie70 on Nov 6, 2013 14:47:47 GMT
It sounds like it would be wise to have him in with you to start with if that is what he is used to... you could make sure you play together in his new bedroom so he can gradually get used to it...
He must be used to having naps without FC in the room... is there any way you could put him down for naps in his new room so he can get used to waking up in there?
Sorry ot to be more helpful - hope someone comes along with more experience and advice to offer! Ax
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Post by donatella on Nov 6, 2013 16:25:54 GMT
I've had two 12 month olds placed - both of whom slept in the same room as their fcs, one of whom had a truly terrible sleep routine. From day 1 here they went into their own room. When you put them to bed you're not going to go to bed yourself, so they're alone anyway. Then when you go to bed you stand a pretty good chance of waking them! My kids have always co-slept when they've needed to. For the first few nights when they woke I brought them into bed with me to settle them. It took one longer than the other to settle but both were sleeping through within a week. I'd start with your lo in his own room to try to establish a good routine that works for you. You'll find lots of things will change over time - what worked at Fc won't necessarily work for you. The option is always there to co sleep anyway.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Nov 7, 2013 10:45:41 GMT
Hmm, mixed responses mean there is obviously no 'right' way to do things (as with everything in life). Little bee currently doesn't get put down for naps but sleeps in his buggy when out for walks apparently.
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Post by lovehearts on Nov 7, 2013 10:58:50 GMT
Our baby (just 2 years old) has been home almost 5 weeks. We decided to have her cot in our room to begin with, just so that we could watch, listen and learn her sleep patterns, and be able to soothe her immediately. We personally have found doing so invaluable and feel that we know more about her and her little habits and issues. She slept in her own room last night for the 1st time and all was well (so far!!). Good luck with whatever you decide, and enjoy every second with your little munchkin! xx |
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Post by flutterby on Nov 7, 2013 13:11:34 GMT
Just thought I would add this. We had the same when our little one moved in and she was used to sleeping in the lounge at lunchtime. As it emerged during intros that we could really do with some advice from a child psychologist, our LA arranged for that and her opinion on the matter were that the child was coming into totally unchartered territories anyway and any room would be unfamiliar. She felt it would be preferable to have only one major change - the move to your house. Then put child in the bedroom they will always stay in. If required put a mattress in the child's room, so you can respond to LO's needs straight away.
As for sleeping in the buggy: For your own sakes try and get baby to sleep at home, so you can have a rest when he is asleep, you will need it! He can always fall asleep in your arms with a bottle (just water works a treat for ours), he may not like this if he is not used to it, but tiredness will soon take over and he will learn to love the cosy arrangement of snuggling up to you rather than being alone in a pushchair.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Nov 7, 2013 14:32:01 GMT
Thanks for the advice. It's so hard at the moment to feel I can make my own parenting decisions when the FC and SWs "know best".
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Post by chotimonkey on Nov 7, 2013 14:51:47 GMT
Hi Ours were 16 months and 8 months when they came home and we put them both in their own bedrooms straight away. Figuring as has been said that this move was big enough, we didn't want them to change bedrooms again. Lo1 had shared a room with foster brother and lo2 had shared with FC. We have have only had then in bed with us in the night when they are sick. We've always responded to them immediately when they've woken, cuddled till they are soothed and put then back in their cots/ Beds. They get tonnes of cuddles before bed and during the day, but at the end if the bedtime routine they've always known sleepy time is sleepy time. They're both v good sleepers which allows us to get babysitters and get out once in awhile  Hope it goes well  |
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Post by moo on Nov 7, 2013 18:55:23 GMT
Hey bumbleb33.....
Some great responses.....
Don't feel you can't make your own decisions coz f/c & s/w knows best!!... Bet the s/w hasn't got kids or particularly adopted kids!!!
YOU are Mummeee & you have to be confident in how you do things.... If it feels right go with it....
I have to say I'm with Donatella on this.... Bet your nursery is magic.....little bee specific & finished with love.... A new move into a special l.b furnished room.... Something obviously not on offer now!!! So much for knowing best!!!
as Don says little bee will be asleep before you go to bed anyway!! I think co sleeping is great but best kept if ill etc....
After all who's to know if you agree when f/c & s/w are around but as soon as they leave you rearrange your house back how YOU want it!!!
It certainly isn't a deal breaker !! Or gonna scar l.b. for life!!!
baa actually is a very light sleeper.... I think if he were in my bedroom he would wake & not go back off easily if in with me.... I like the t.v. on before I drop off.... He would be up bouncing off the walls!!!!
Hth....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by daffin on Nov 7, 2013 19:34:21 GMT
Our DS (23 months on placement) didn't have a nap while with his foster family. He slept through the night from 6 until 6, waking sometimes just once and just briefly. We found that he really needed a nap (probably because we were wearing him out!) but had to train him to have them - first in a backpack carrier on a walk and then on the sofa. He cried blue murder if we tried to get him to sleep in his room in the day time (we think this was due to his history of neglect and associating it with being left on his own). Once 'trained' he slept for 1.5 hours every day and has only just grown out of them now aged nearly 4. On the other hand his sleeping at night fell apart and he took 45 minutes of handholding and nursery rhymes to fall asleep and woke around 6 times a night for the first few weeks and only recently started sleeping through the night. My point is that post placement your LO may need different things around sleep (and many other things) and you will have to work out the best way to respond. You will work out what works for you.
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Post by justbserene11 on Nov 7, 2013 20:29:35 GMT
Our LO was 12 months at placement and slept in her own room whilst in FC. We considered sharing a room with her, but decided to put her into her own room. Our thoughts were, that she already had one major change so we tried to keep things as similar as we could.
I just want to add that things do change. For instance, five months after placement we changed her nap time and slowly her bedtime changed also. She now likes to co sleep with us where as previously she would scream if we tried to give her milk in our bed. I think you both need to agree with a plan of action and ride the roller coaster of what is the world of adoption.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2013 20:40:21 GMT
Go with your own instincts and do what feels right for you and your LO.
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Post by smileycat on Nov 7, 2013 21:31:21 GMT
Ah Bumble it's a hard time this waiting bit. There isn't a right way at all. Our DS was placed at 17 months, he had slept for unto 3 hours a day with the fc but did not sleep in the day with us at after day 2!! So he was one tired bunny. I did find if I brought him in with us at night if he woke distressed he would go back to sleep much better. Sometimes I'd take him back others I didn't. To be honest though I don't think I would of put his cot in our room even if he'd of been sharing with his FC...
Honestly just go with what you feel is right from minute one!! You are going to be the Mummy!! I was told by DD's lovely FC before she was placed that by the end of week 1 we would be the ones who now knew her best, I was surprised and questioned it, I was told but SC you've been with her through this huge life change not us... Very wise words!!
Very best of luck.
SC x x
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Post by gilreth on Nov 9, 2013 23:31:39 GMT
Sqk has slept In his own room since he came home 4 weeks back as he did at FC ( he is 2 however). On the rare occasion he wakes up in middle of night I will often bring him in with us to settle. He comes in in a morning as well. Naps are very hit and miss - I celebrated earlier in week when Infinally got him asleep at home without having to resort to buggy or car. It is best just to go with what you feel best. During Intros if Sqk fell asleep I would put him in his new bed so he to used to it. Never even considered having him with us - I have periodic insomnia so not a good plan.
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