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Post by greyspeckledhen on Nov 1, 2013 14:03:45 GMT
Eldest has GCSE mocks next week so half term has been dominated not by him revising but by him shouting due to the stress of not wanting/managing to revise. He can't read things through - we realise that - but have been trying to get him to re write some assignments that he could have done better and practice some basic maths. If he could manage to do some work he could get a b in a couple of subjects and a c in some others...a few are going to be E or F with the best will in the world so haven't been worrying about them too much but it is REALLY frustrating that he will most probably end up with lower grades than he could get due to his high anxiety levels which stop him getting to the point of practicing or revising. He thinks he's been stuck in all week when in fact we've been out and done other stuff - I'm resigned to the fact that he can't/won't do it but some of the time we have to attempt this battle because some of the time he can manage to do some work...wonder if it is worth it though...I hate it.
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Post by barge on Nov 1, 2013 17:10:13 GMT
Oh No. And its only the mocks!!! No experience yet, but can you focus on the anxiety rather than the revision and have a stress reduction timetable rather than a revision timetable, allowing whatever has sunk deep to rise to the surface??!!
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Post by oysterbabe on Nov 1, 2013 17:45:05 GMT
We have ours straight after Xmas hols, so can empathise completely as this will be us next school hols. Something has suddenly clicked in Whelks head though, going to the colleges and talking to the tutors has triggered reality for him and he's a different young man! Asking his maths teacher for extra work and putting 3000% effort in and also wanting private tuition! If you'd known him six weeks ago! However, that's only Maths!
I'm a horrid Mummy that makes him read out loud to me every night only 3 pages but its torture sometimes! Monotone voice... Blah blah blah. Lol.
I think the exam systems fail children like ours that either stress so much and have the defeatist attitude or just don't get how much effort needs to be put in to get decent grades. I'm happy whelk is taking any exams to be honest as a few years back I didn't expect him too. He's years behind the high flyers but his school are brilliant at keeping me in the loop and likewise I do the same with them about hols. Can you speak to a tutor or head of year and ask for strategies you can use at home. I've been given some books and poetry stuff to look on you tube at... At school they use it a lot apparently so if he was on computer looking up stuff would that be easier for him?
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Post by kizim on Nov 1, 2013 18:29:14 GMT
My daughter suffered terribly from anxiety for any test...but recently seems to have got this under control a little ..she is 17 now. What helped her was learning different ways to revişe and realising that everyone has to study - she previously thought that all the cool kids WHO claimed not to do any work were feverishly studying at home. She also used Rescue Remedy - just taking it seemed to help calm her down. Revision Techniques that helped were flashcards - we looked at the key objectives for each gcse unit and she made her own flashcards for each subject. She made her own quizzes and we downloaded past papers from the internet and tried doing timed testing.....she also did her nails and put makeup on...got changed and had certain drinks and snacks...all designed to raise her self esteem and make her comfortable to revişe and study...not sure this bit would work with your son lol but maybe there are other motivating/confidence building ideas he can employ to make him feel calmer. Good Luck Jofran
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Nov 1, 2013 23:11:45 GMT
Ah but the thought of eldest doing his nails and putting on his make up DID make me smile, so thank you! Wondering if reading 3 pages out loud might be a good technique for getting into the swing of revising between mocks and the real ones. Think I might send him to my mum tomorrow to do a bit of work there. I need a break from it! (and may as well make use of this new treat of having a mum round the corner!) Oysterbabe - really wish my ds would ask for extra maths! Congratulations for getting him to that point!
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Post by oysterbabe on Nov 2, 2013 8:51:24 GMT
I'm going to look into the flash cards myself now so thanks for that idea.
We are reading the Ravens Gate book by Anthony Horowitz and I'm wanting to know what happens as three pages isn't enough for me, so I read ahead when he's gone back upstairs to x box land! Lol. His reading age is 9 yrs so its pitched quite well to his level. I encouraged him by reading a page first and then he did one, and built it up over a few nights and now sometimes if we've missed a night he will read 5 or 6 pages to make up. I only comment on the story not how he's reading it but sometimes when characters are having a conversation I will ask him to make it more obvious who is saying what... As mummy can get confused hehe.
I was told by the SEN dept that with additional needs kids things usually click sometime in yr 11 and I'm just glad we did our college stuff really early and we are now making online applications so he can focus just on the school work. We have limited our college choices to just two to take pressure off him too. There are five colleges we could access but looking into different courses at multiple colleges would send his stress levels through the roof. He is still really anxious about it all and is wobbly that he can really achieve what he needs, but at least he is making the effort, that's most of the battle won. If later on he wants to just look into another course at another college we can do that with the knowledge that we've already applied for courses at his top 2.
I see this as a whole year project for us both and keeping it real without scaring him witless and encouraging a degree of independent thinking. I've been a micro managing mummy and while its cocooned him he really needs to work on the executive function gaps he has and take responsibility himself, but I'm doing it with baby steps and slowly slowly so he feels achievement in even having the ideas himself. Hope that makes sense.
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Post by oysterbabe on Nov 2, 2013 8:54:15 GMT
Gsh - definitely take advantage of a mum round corner to send him to do revision!
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Post by barge on Nov 3, 2013 9:33:55 GMT
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Nov 8, 2013 16:42:01 GMT
only just saw that Barge - fab! He's just home and already shouting that ALL his friends have the weekend off so why should he do any work. Reality is he probably won't. Just sent him to shop to buy a calculator for his calculator maths exam but he says there is no point as he doesn't know how the buttons work.... could be a long weekend (maybe I have to put a gummy bear on the calculator buttons...). Here's hoping we have enough strength to survive the weekend. Roll on NEXT friday.
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Post by phoebe on Nov 8, 2013 16:58:39 GMT
Do you think he would play the games on the BBC Bitesize pages? Even some recalcitrants like them at school? x
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Post by jellies on Nov 8, 2013 22:17:54 GMT
When something gets my attention it gets my attention and so I need to spread the news with you too GSH.
Mindfulness in schools programme. Need to take EJ to bed now but will put some links on here tomorrow - some brilliant clips from schools in inner city schools (some children with SEN/ EBD and young people in mainstream) which are specific to getting young people to be able to calm themselves in a short amount of time using mindfulness techniques - especially around exam times. If I don't get on early in the morning - goggle Mindfulness in schools (first one on page is the US programme - you will want the one below) jellies
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Nov 9, 2013 10:54:36 GMT
thanks - sounds good.
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