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Post by pirate on Oct 27, 2013 21:25:33 GMT
Hello! give the rainy weather I decided on trying to sort the spare room out today (work in progress)! received an email late last week and the sw doesn't want our bd around while she visits (even though it is half term holidays) so sorted child care out.
my bd wants to write a little note to ask for a sister......should we let her so early on?
got given a list of id to produce as well: mortgage statement, driving licences, marriage certificate.
from your experiences do you think the first meeting is about her getting to know us?
butterflies in tummy again!
pirate
xxxx
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Post by happyone on Oct 27, 2013 21:48:20 GMT
The process is ever changing but the first meeting is a "go see" and due to new time scales all the check paper work is done then. Don't take this the wrong way but I think having your daughter out of the way is a good thing all our kids pick up on visits and ears hear all kinds..... Much better for her to be involved later on gives you chance to get your head round it xxx that's my opinion anyway xx a plus point is you arranged child care so have already showed an initial network of support x
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Post by moo on Oct 28, 2013 8:27:18 GMT
I'm sure happyone is right.... This first meeting is to get the legal formalities out of the way.... That's why she wants to see all your certificates.... If you can photocopy them I would.... The timescales now are really fast so if this goes well you will deffo be well on your way.... Happyone is also right it shows you have a good support network.... As for the note think I would leave that till next visit.... If s/w asks ' how's your dd about this ' then you can tell her & even give it to her then....
Good Luck......
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by pirate on Oct 28, 2013 21:41:57 GMT
Thank you Happyone & moo
It's tomorrow I meet my sw! Pirate Xxxx
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Post by moo on Oct 29, 2013 7:18:08 GMT
Thinking of you.... That first meeting is so daunting...... It will be fine & you will relax quite quickly..... Your s/w will become a sounding board.... So good coz she needs to know you well in order to help find the best match......
Good Luck.... Just Be You.....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by taliesin on Oct 29, 2013 11:59:15 GMT
Hope you got on ok Pirate......sure you have already, but be prepared to explain 'why' a little sister and how would she cope if it was decided on a boy.....from what Ive picked up from other posters, some SW's prefer opposite gender to a birth child but I suppose this depends on different situs. Very exciting for you though, ship-matey !!! xx
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Post by pirate on Oct 29, 2013 18:49:45 GMT
Hello everyone!
We met the sw today and went through the id process: birth certificates/adoption certificate (me) Mortgage statement/driving license/utility bills.
Had a chat about us the who where why what and when. The support network The reason why I am not able to have anymore children.
I'm an honest person and happy to discuss everything, obviously it was hard at the start because hubby and I are very private people but we have made sure that unpleasant things like family fallouts have been discussed thoroughly with the lo.
We have arranged for medicals in a couple of weeks via the gp and told because of my medical condition it could slow up the process and be deferred with the adoption doctor for more info.
The NEW PROCESS we have now been put on is approx two months for the first stage which is references/checks/medicals. Second stage approx four months
Don't forget these are not definate timescales.
I rung a sibbling up earlier to be a reference and broke the news of our adoption process and declare my medical condition (best it came from me and not the sw!) She is delighted with our news and happy to ge a reference for us.
Should we pass the checks then stage two of the process. Pirate Xxxx
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Post by moo on Oct 29, 2013 19:12:51 GMT
Fantastic news pirate....
Don't know your medical probs but I am a firm believer that if the spirit is willing then the inner strength in the soul will see you thro & do you proud.... As for delays ... Pah... Well let's just see....
Good adopters are a highly valued commodity & let's face it life is about diversity & difference.... So I think you'll do just fine....
I like you am very truthful..... but it is tuff on this journey coz so much is asked & the bare bones of our existence picked over..... But in time you will get to know your s/w & she you .... It will pay dividends in the end.... Hang in....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by gilreth on Oct 29, 2013 19:58:24 GMT
Brilliant news Pirate. We definitely found it best to be completely truthful throughout our journey - given we never went IVF route (although offered) that caused some explanations for a start. as to health - other than not being allowed to go for a sibling group I was fine with all my issues.
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Post by happyone on Oct 29, 2013 22:08:07 GMT
Whoop xxxx well done xxx
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Post by pirate on Oct 29, 2013 23:57:41 GMT
Hello everyone! Long day and still smiling...... Take a look at adopters/adoptees with disabilities....will explain about me X
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Post by vickyvixen on Nov 5, 2013 9:54:25 GMT
Hi Pirate. I'm glad it's going well. My SW is coming tomorrow for first meeting since allocation & I'm so excited. I really must start cleaning though! I met the SW at my prep course & really liked her. I've still got a few bits of paper to find but think I know where everything is. We're on our way...
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Post by pirate on Nov 5, 2013 20:10:50 GMT
Hello Vickyvixen Good luck for tomorrow!! That is what I did....clean, clean, clean and bleach in the loo! I did that the nite before, finding the paperwork!
Try not to worry, it is mainly about identity bits and bobs.
Let us know how it goes! Pirate XXXX
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Post by gilreth on Nov 5, 2013 22:05:01 GMT
Good luck Vickyvixen - like you I knew our SW from our prep course which did make it a bit easier. As we were on old process our paperwork got left right till end of home study - although we had most of it ready at start expecting to be asked for it (sister being an adopter in same LA does help). I never truly properly cleaned before SW came - gave the place a once over but with working as hard as I was - horrendous timetable in second semester it just never worked for me.
But yes you are on your way - try to relax and enjoy the home study as much as you can.
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Post by kstar on Nov 5, 2013 22:12:05 GMT
I was laughing about the cleaning bit today... How you go from bleaching the house from top to bottom and dusting the tops of curtain rails for the very first visit... Gradually reducing to what I would call "normal clean" rather than "social worker clean" during home study... Now six months into placement, she came to visit today and all I did was cleared enough of Starlet's stuff off the sofa to allow her to sit down, bought milk for coffee and put bleach down the loo! You just get used to living in a hurricane zone lol.
Good luck all you people just starting out :-) so, so exciting!
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Post by gilreth on Nov 5, 2013 22:25:01 GMT
Hmm just over 2 weeks in and my SWs find the house as it comes - as they visit fairly early not normally too much of a hurricane has hit. But yes as home study progresses you will just end up at normal clean. You fidn yourself relaxing with the SW - or at least we did.
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Post by pirate on Nov 5, 2013 22:45:51 GMT
I forgot to mention, I had candle on because of whiffy dogs!!!! But the sw says she has dogs of her own! To me turning into a domestic goddess for just one day was important!
Spent the evening emailing sw the last two referees/references. Medicals are next week.
Sw meeting first reference next week.
Pirate Xxxx
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Post by annie70 on Nov 6, 2013 15:16:03 GMT
hey pirate and vickyvixen... good luck with your journeys (and don't worry about the cleaning!)... I remember being at your stage so well - and now we are nearly at the end of the beginning HS is quite an intrusive time but we learnt so much about ourselves and what kind of parents we would be... go with the flow and be honest and everything will be fine Axx
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2013 16:14:30 GMT
What burning candles with naked flames Pirate!!!!!!! Surprised you didn't get a lecture on health and safety LOL
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Post by pirate on Nov 6, 2013 17:17:06 GMT
JMK No mention of naked candle flames lol!!!!!!!!! Picked up urine pots from doctors EMPTY!!!!!! Ready for medical next week Pirate Xxxx
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Post by moo on Nov 6, 2013 18:51:07 GMT
Wow pirate seems to be going really well & fast.....
Are you going via va or la???
HaHaHa I so remember my s/w clean time... Wow the farmhouse was like a show home!!!!!!!
Now...... well I spend my time picking up Xtra pieces of leggo & struggling coz the Hoover keeps eating the most important oi pieces so guess what I just give up!!!!...... Hoover what's a Hoover....
i loved having such a skweekie clean house... Sigh those really were the days!!!!
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by pirate on Nov 6, 2013 22:30:12 GMT
Moo
We are going la ......started January this year. Very very slow.
This is what happened/when!
January I filled out online form A few days later a telephone chat asking why adoption? April we were invited to an adoption open morning Filled out form Went quiet for a while July home check - sign off to go on next stage September three day pre adoption course October met our social worker - she said we are now on the new process! Vetting & references given to sw November medical (next week) and references being taken by our sw at people's homes
In the beginning it was slow but now it's all go (exciting, but know that nothing is definite)
I must write this all down to look back on!!
Pirate XXXX
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Post by pirate on Nov 12, 2013 22:35:41 GMT
Got medical tomorrow with my doctor, I know that my medical outcome will be referred for further medical advice..... Looking forward getting another process out of the way. Xxxx
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Post by lilka on Nov 13, 2013 17:20:48 GMT
Hope your medical went well today Pirate
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Post by moo on Nov 13, 2013 19:22:24 GMT
Well done pirate.... I remember so well the slow slow quick quick slow of it all!!!
Hope all went well to-day....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by pirate on Nov 13, 2013 21:27:58 GMT
I was going to put this on another thread, but be easier to have a flow of things!! The medical didn't go ahead - I turned up late The appointment I thought was 1340 hours bur I turned up at 1330 hours to find out it was 1320 hours........the doctor said he won't see me. So I've had to rebook in two weeks with another doctor. When the receptionist said I got the time wrong, I had tears in my eyes - felt I let my hubby down and my little one. Hubby came with me and treated me to a cup of tea and cake to cheer me up. Feel so stupid, checked my diary this eve and says 1340 hours, what a doughnut - should of checked my diary this morning like I normally do on a daily basis My hubby was at 40 mins past the hour, so that is why I fluffed up. Pirate Xxxx
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Post by kstar on Nov 13, 2013 21:36:40 GMT
You know what it happens... I have to say now that I have Starlet-brain, I mess up more and more of my own stuff! For example, there's a parcel waiting for me at the post office which has been there for 19 days... I just cannot remember to go during opening hours lol!
Stop beating yourself up and start accepting this as part of planet adoption :-)
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Post by pirate on Nov 13, 2013 22:50:13 GMT
Thank you Kstar!! Means that I have do provide another sample in the wee pots Lol Pirate Xxxx
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2013 18:04:00 GMT
No wonder you're peed off Pirate. (Sorry I couldn't resist it)
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Post by pirate on Nov 20, 2013 21:40:04 GMT
Lol!! Must remember to find the new pot for ext week! Pirate Xxxx
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