...after two years of hell and 6 months of an even worse nightmare where all your worst fears for a 14 year old girl have pretty much come to pass. After ten years of endless therapy and work it seems that Lapwing is to be removed. The LA are applying for an interim care order due to the very high risk she places herself in and sadly that she is beyond parental control.
For months and months nothing happens and then WHAM they pull this rabbit on of the hat.
Just wondering if anyone has experienced this?
Mum to DD Lapwing (13) & DS Peewit (12) Married to Mr Mudlark
I’m sorry it has come to this Mudlark, you have given everything.
I don’t know if this will be any comfort or bring hope, but in the 18 months two of my former work colleagues ( different families) had to see the return of their children to foster care, one was 11 and the other 16.
Whilst they were devastated, they have both slowly started to rebuild their relationships with their young people
Take care of yourself xx
Mum to the 'hansom' Simba, age 19 and 40 now retired teddy bears and FC to Special K, age 12
Sorry, I have not replied before. This is exactly were we were at some stage, only we did not know, as they did not bother to tell us and we only found out later after we were allocated a different social worker.
At the time I felt so gutted, so betrayed by the system.
Then again, the court case is your opportunity to really show up the LA for their the lack of support, refusal to safeguard your child. It is not unknown for judges to take a dim view of SS actions and order them to change their ways.
This is what happened to our daughter's half sister's parents, who the LA were trying to paint as inept parents whilst not providing any help whatsoever. The judges kept on ruling for much more support than the LA wanted to put in place and her parents feel they have finally been given a voice.
That said the road ahead is still going to be gruelling - emotionally, physically, time consuming.
You know something needs to change, you have asked for change for so long, but the way it's coming about must feel like they are trying to attach blame to you. Don't let them, you still have a voice and the judge can rule that you continue to be heard. You should have been allocated access to two solicitors- and you can freely choose who they are- so you might as well get someone who is really experienced in adoption matters. We were going to use Sarah Ferrari from Dutton Gregory Solicitors, but there are many others.
Are you planning to fight against it or is it the only sensible option right now?
This has very recently happened to a friend of mine. Her son is 13 and there had been many issues over the years, a lack of support from SS and school but, like Lapwing, it really all started to fall apart very quickly at age 11. Her son is currently placed in a 'home' with only 1 other child. Both children have a 2:1 staff ratio at all times.
My friend is still fighting for the support her son needs as she feels SS have written her son off and are not willing to make any effort. In terms of their own relationship though, it has been positive and they are starting to build a healthier and safer relationship than they have had for years.
In the more distant past, SS also applied to court to remove 1 of my children and I can echo Flutterby's feelings of betrayal. Meetings had been held without my knowledge and the first I did know was when my Social Worker came to tell me about a court date. I was lucky, I was able to employ a solicitor from Simpson Millar and we were supported by our therapists. It was the right choice to fight for us to stay together - SS were only really trying to avoid paying for therapy. My children were at the time much younger than teenagers though.
I really hope that in a strange way this action can be positive for both Lapwing and the wider family.