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Setback
Apr 8, 2023 18:40:34 GMT
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Post by flutterby on Apr 8, 2023 18:40:34 GMT
Not much to report, but feeling quite low. After a number of months with no violence, we had an incident over half term, next weekend home and now the third during the Easter hols. This is made worse by me not feeling well at all (probably a trigger in itself) and I am exhausted, disappointed, scared of what might happen next.
I just wish we could get to a point of no violence. Again, I thought we were getting somewhere and we are, but Butterfly is also stronger again, taller and the risk just increases exponentially when something does go wrong.
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Setback
Apr 8, 2023 20:19:03 GMT
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moo likes this
Post by leo on Apr 8, 2023 20:19:03 GMT
I am so sorry Flutterby.
Once progress has been made (no matter how small), the setbacks are somehow so much harder to deal with.
Has there been a trigger that you know of? (Other than your illness.)
I hope you have support during the rest of the Easter holidays.
All I can say is that in my experience, although the setbacks are awful, each time you get back on track you tend to then stay on track for longer before the next wobble.
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Post by mudlark on Apr 8, 2023 22:50:19 GMT
Flutterby, so sorry to hear this. I totally get that feeling of utter disappointment and futility after things seemingly going well and then suddenly they are not.
It feels so never ending. I have not much to say, other than the mantra of taking care of yourself, finding ways of healing and nurturing yourself. Easier said than done but so important.
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Post by moo on Apr 9, 2023 6:20:43 GMT
Sending cyber support your way Flutterby xxxx
Stay Safe xxx
Xx moo 🐮
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Setback
Apr 10, 2023 14:37:37 GMT
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Post by flutterby on Apr 10, 2023 14:37:37 GMT
Thanks everyone. I wish I knew the trigger. We went through all the Xmas hols with no incidents, in fact things were really lovely, despite unexpected illness, abrupt changes and visitors. Which makes this setback all the more difficult.
Butterfly has come on leaps and bounds in so many ways and then suddenly we are back to menacing threats, extreme violence etc.
I keep going over things trying to understand, find triggers.
This morning she wanted to make up for what happened and, unbeknown to me, cleaned the bathroom. Which would have been lovely had it not been for the fact that she rearranged every single bottle, towel, mirror anything she could find on any surface and stacked them in the most absurd places. Then she "cleaned" the whole place until everything was covered in a chemical mix of streaks and goo.
She was so proud of herself too. Normally she is really good with cleaning, but unfortunately she regressed to toddler stage, so you can imagine the mess. I wish hubby had checked up on her as I was resting on the sofa.
Needless to say now she is extremely upset that no-one appreciated her efforts and we are back on the merry roller coaster of dysregulation. Sorry, rant over.
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Post by moo on Apr 10, 2023 16:14:57 GMT
(((((((Flutterby))))))
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