|
|
Post by moo on Oct 28, 2013 7:56:46 GMT
Hey spideress....
No you get a brand new birth certificate after the order goes through..... You can change all l/o names if you want not just the surname.....
When you apply for the order you can tick to say you only want to be known by case number. This is to prevent you being identified....
so your names are not disclosed to birth family when they are notified when the case goes to court....
Child's identity is the usual reason not to change & something to keep from b/f.....
In some extremes the names do have to be changed....
It is very common for some or all the middle names to be dropped or changed.....
In my case security is /was massive....
Baa had a daft name easily identifiable.... So I changed it slightly into a completely different name & made it more ' normal'.... My two were very young , skweek couldn't yet say his brothers name so it passed off seamlessly.....
Baa himself preferred his new name.... I did this ( with s/w blessing ) upon placement.....
When the orders were applied for I simply added my choice of middle name for skweek I wanted him to also have a new name chosen by me ( dropping the old middle name ) & put baa old first name abbreviated as his middle ( the abbreviated was what b/f & all called him before anyway.... )
Hth.....
Xx. moo. Xx
|
|
|
|
Post by spideress on Oct 28, 2013 10:29:15 GMT
Hey spideress....
No you get a brand new birth certificate after the order goes through..... You can change all l/o names if you want not just the surname.....
When you apply for the order you can tick to say you only want to be known by case number. This is to prevent you being identified....
so your names are not disclosed to birth family when they are notified when the case goes to court....
Child's identity is the usual reason not to change & something to keep from b/f.....
In some extremes the names do have to be changed....
It is very common for some or all the middle names to be dropped or changed.....
In my case security is /was massive....
Baa had a daft name easily identifiable.... So I changed it slightly into a completely different name & made it more ' normal'.... My two were very young , skweek couldn't yet say his brothers name so it passed off seamlessly.....
Baa himself preferred his new name.... I did this ( with s/w blessing ) upon placement.....
When the orders were applied for I simply added my choice of middle name for skweek I wanted him to also have a new name chosen by me ( dropping the old middle name ) & put baa old first name abbreviated as his middle ( the abbreviated was what b/f & all called him before anyway.... )
Hth.....
Xx. moo. Xx Excellent info. Thank you :-) |
|
|
|
Post by gilreth on Oct 29, 2013 21:31:33 GMT
Aye middle names are fine to change. Sqk has 2 - one of which happens to actually be a name that means something to us and his other is actually DH's name  But we intend to swap DH's name out for a name we always intended to use for a birth son's middle name. His first name is not that uncommon - not one we would have chosen but it has grown on us. |
|
thespouses
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 91 
|
Post by thespouses on Nov 2, 2013 19:32:43 GMT
If you are to have any further face to face contact e.g. with birth sibs, you may find that once your child is older they do let details slip that you didn't want known. That is just something to be aware of.
|
|
|
|
Post by donatella on Nov 2, 2013 20:01:09 GMT
|
|
thespouses
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 91
|
Post by thespouses on Nov 3, 2013 14:56:05 GMT
Interesting that the judge quoted seems to think keeping the child's last name would be just as important as keeping their first name. I can't see that even being practical, especially not in families with more than one adopted child (though you do sometimes get birth families where children deliberately have a new surname different to Mum or Dad's)
|
|
|
|
Post by damson on Nov 3, 2013 16:29:35 GMT
I agree that names are very important. Our adoption is an open one - the birth relatives know where we are, and more important, the children know them, and see them now and then. We did change middle names for the children at adoption (the children chose the names) as both had middle names for people who died untimely. This did not go down well with the birth relatives, but they didn't remonstrate. Now, some years on, we have teenage children, and DS would really like his surname back. This desire has stuck for a year at least, and we've said we'll pay for him to do the name change if he can figure out how to assemble his multiple names  I think he has also worked out that a name change might mean a lot of hassle with passport, bank account, school, exams etc From my point of view he is the same person, whatever the label, but that's a bit radical for him. The compromise at present is that he's stuck them all together for his Facebook name. |
|
|
|
Post by taliesin on Nov 11, 2013 0:59:27 GMT
Spideress I am so blinking fuming reading this, that Im not even bothering reading all the responses (sorry folks!!!); right my soap box time - HOW DARE THEY SUGGEST YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ridicolous - not thought out - totally illogical!!! Far simpler for SS's not to give out your real names and allow you to call yourself anything.....why does it matter for the BF to know your real names?? SOrry, I just dont see it or agree....... We spent a day last week trying to remove our 'digital footprint' and its blinking hard (DH was also s/e and a director)! We have done what we can, but the thing that would help, woud be some considerationn and respect for us (and Im including you in the royal 'us'!!)! We had an upsetting meeting with 2 BF members last week which ended in 1 taking a photo of me and using indirect threats that he can use face recognition software etc (hence complete panic and change of avatras and all sorts  !!) We cant change the name of our LO's becasue its 'their identity' and its what the birth parents gave them (humphhh...), but its ok for YOU to be told to delete your identity!!! ps - when I calm down Ill read all responses and get a balanced view....but honestly Spideress.....thats shocking and a battle I thinkk I would have!!! |
|
|
|
Post by spideress on Nov 11, 2013 6:17:33 GMT
Spideress I am so blinking fuming reading this, that Im not even bothering reading all the responses (sorry folks!!!); right my soap box time - HOW DARE THEY SUGGEST YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ridicolous - not thought out - totally illogical!!! Far simpler for SS's not to give out your real names and allow you to call yourself anything.....why does it matter for the BF to know your real names?? SOrry, I just dont see it or agree....... We spent a day last week trying to remove our 'digital footprint' and its blinking hard (DH was also s/e and a director)! We have done what we can, but the thing that would help, woud be some considerationn and respect for us (and Im including you in the royal 'us'!!)! We had an upsetting meeting with 2 BF members last week which ended in 1 taking a photo of me and using indirect threats that he can use face recognition software etc (hence complete panic and change of avatras and all sorts !!) We cant change the name of our LO's becasue its 'their identity' and its what the birth parents gave them (humphhh...), but its ok for YOU to be told to delete your identity!!! ps - when I calm down Ill read all responses and get a balanced view....but honestly Spideress.....thats shocking and a battle I thinkk I would have!!! Yeah, SWs do sometimes seem to live on another planet. My name is my identity too and even though I could still be called my current name as a short form of the different name I would always know in my head that legally I was the full other name and that feels like it threatens the bedrock of my identity. It does not sit "right" or "comfy" with me at all. |
|
thespouses
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 91
|
Post by thespouses on Nov 11, 2013 10:45:18 GMT
There's no way I could change my name (first or last) and continue to work in the job that I've been in for 20 years - as reputation is everything in my profession. Madness.
|
|
But we intend to swap DH's name out for a name we always intended to use for a birth son's middle name. His first name is not that uncommon - not one we would have chosen but it has grown on us.
I think he has also worked out that a name change might mean a lot of hassle with passport, bank account, school, exams etc From my point of view he is the same person, whatever the label, but that's a bit radical for him.
!!)