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Post by treetop on Jan 31, 2020 8:48:31 GMT
How do people encourage their teenagers to regulate their own timekeeping? My ds is 14 and i have always woke him, organised him, his breakfast etc. The problem is he won’t get up until the very last minute. I am now going back to work after years away and it worries me that he will not get up. I’ve been explaining for long enough that I need to go back and that I need him to be responsible and get up so that I can get myself ready and know that he is too instead of lying there sleeping in. I’ve always been there for him and done a lot for him but I feel it’s time he started thinking about his own actions now. He said school don’t care if they’re late, they don’t get into trouble, not his fault he’s a deep sleeper....: any ideas how else I can encourage him. He had THREE alarms, I shout on him several time’s and he’s still there. I’ve said set the alarms a good bit earlier. Bed earlier, devices away. ... it doesn’t work
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Post by moo on Jan 31, 2020 9:14:32 GMT
Hugs treetop xx
As a mum of two teenage boys, I too face the sleep issues you mention....
I am also aware of the recent medical 'evidence' proving that teenage growth really does need extra sleep/rest to aid with the development.....but.... managing it is a whole different ball game...
Sadly my 2 still respond to 'carrots' love rewards & certain things I hold back for emergencies.?.. anything that your ds is passionate about?... bear to honeypot stuff.... sorry if this strikes as toddler type reward but it does work with mine & progress has happened albeit slowly...it encourages getting up & has been great watching them plan for the reward... as for longer term I'm not so sure! But baby steps don't want to knock the success... 😉 hth x
Xx moo xx
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Post by treetop on Jan 31, 2020 9:20:55 GMT
Hi no that makes sense. That’s always been the way, he can be so sensible in some areas but when it comes to ‘taking responsibility’ he just fights it. To be honest at the moment he doesn’t seem interested in anything at all except his friends. I wouldn’t know how to encourage him
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Post by moo on Jan 31, 2020 9:28:51 GMT
'Responsibility' is a big message here right now...
I am convinced they do get it but miss me making all the decisions for them... tied in with being kept safe & not having to think, plan or worry about failing..... failure, fear still figures but as ever they don't realise it... it is so tuff trying to reassure in the same/ differing ways to help them thro...both turned in Kevin overnight so reasoning/conversation is not always happening ! 😉 X
Good Luck Hang In ( strangling really isn't an option !! 😱 xx)
Xx moo xx
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Post by treetop on Jan 31, 2020 9:33:11 GMT
I’ll try and remember that 😂
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Post by milly on Feb 2, 2020 10:35:47 GMT
Maybe allow some natural consequences to occur? If he is late to school, it's unlikely they won't care as he says. Are you in England? Because attendance statistics are massive for all schools and being over late would be considered a partial absence.
I do understand the way our teens refuse to take responsibility for themselves- I have two aged 14 and 19. But I do find that by taking less responsibility myself, they are forced to take more. It doesn't work so well for some things (teeth cleaning, room cleaning etc where the immediate natural consequence is of no concern) but might for lateness to school? Especially as that's where the friends are, I presume?
Both mine are / were actually very anxious to arrive at school on time but 14 year old is also reluctant to get up, so can get into a panic about lateness. DH bails her out, which I don't approve of, but then I'm at work 4 days a week and cant really change that!
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