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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 8, 2019 9:55:27 GMT
Curious george has major sensory stuff, last year he was in reception and doing everything he could to get himself taken out of the classroom 1:1 with a safe adult... lots of hitting/ pushing/ pinching/ shouting. I did the walk of shame almost every day of reception whilst fighting the school to get him help. This year he has a lovely 1:1, is on a nurture class, incidents are few and far between now... there’s a much better understanding g if his needs and more focused support.
Howler has been bullied horribly since the beginning of this year, it’s destroyed her self confidence. It took school a long time to accept she was being bullied and act on it, but in this last half term it’s been dealt with. She was just starting to get a sense of herself back again when end of term stuff started... sports day/ enterprise projects/ recycled fashion show/ end of year performance/ class parties etc . Theres a little girl in her class with the same needs as her brother. She doesn’t have support and she is regularly having meltdowns because she can’t cope with the change and increased sensory stuff in more chaotic classrooms and she’s regularly hitting howler... she’s pulled her hair, punched her, jumped on her knocked her over. There’s been at least 8 incidents in the last few weeks.
I know the child’s mother and she’s at her wits end trying to get school to help her daughter... ive made it really clear to school that I’m not angry with the girl, but am very upset that they aren’t meeting her needs and howler is suffering the consequences.
Howlers really struggling because she likes this girl and understands her because of george. But she’s been really hurt and she doesn’t understand why the adults in her class aren’t helping this girl more...
I’m not sure where to take this.. because school can’t discuss another child’s support, but it’s teally affecting howler...
Any advice wise ones?
Thanks
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Post by serrakunda on Jul 8, 2019 18:54:51 GMT
No they can't discuss another child's support but they have a duty to keep other children safe. So I would go for that angle.
Is the other girl targeting Howler, or does she happen to be the one in the way because they sit at the same table. Could howler be moved to another part of the room
I'd be looking at the school's safeguarding policy as well.
Poor Howler, its not fair to either of them
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Post by moo on Jul 8, 2019 21:42:03 GMT
Sending you & howler many hugsxxx
So pleased school can identify needs & have finally managed howlers & in the last half term things have been a lot better....
Know exactly where you are coming from about this poor girl, sometimes I think schools have snowblindness & unless the parents push for particular needs to be met school just deny behaviours or simply let things slide....
I am with serrakunda it is a safeguarding issue look at their policy... Remind them how well howler is doing & doesn't need the distraction or risk that her confidence will deteriorate once again. Bless her howler has just peeked over the brow of the hill & now this poor little girl is in danger of pushing howler back down... it is soo tuff.....
Baa even now still struggles when staff do not manage others when they are struggling & give no support.... it seems so unfair that sometimes adults just don't get it.... poor howler seeing staff inadequecies she must be feeling so lost xx
The school sound great & based on curious george's experiences plus howler, as long as the little girls mother insists on what support she wants for her daughter, then I think things will settle xx
Xx good luck xx
Xx moo xx
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Post by mudlark on Jul 8, 2019 22:00:38 GMT
Yes agree with previous posts, it's about keeping Howler safe, she is being bullied and that's not acceptable. They have a duty of care to both the girl with support needs and also Howler, however difficult they need to look at how they can solve it for both children.
Don't give in! Howler is vulnerable and needs reassurance and safety. I wonder does this other girl have a one to one or someone that you can speak to to explain the situation?
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Post by leo on Jul 9, 2019 21:07:12 GMT
I agree with what others are saying - but also wonder if there is anything you can do to educate/support the girl's parents to enable them to secure more support for their daughter.
I'm betting that you have become a bit of an expert on how to advocate for your children and get their needs met. Can you channel some of that into the other parents - sometimes it's the wording we use, or knowing the process, or threatening legal action, or knowing the SEN code of practice...
Howler's welfare obviously has to be your first priority but perhaps it can be tackled in two different ways at the same time?
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 9, 2019 21:48:56 GMT
Hi
Thanks everyone... the little girl and her mum are friends... I v gently turned her on to the possibility of asd with her daughter.... just shared some stories about curious george and she ran with the info and similarities... mum is lovely and desperate to get help... we’ve passed on curious george’s ehcp to her to use as a template... we are allies and support for each other, our kids swim together every Friday and have play dates and because we manage them, they go smoothly.
Mum has withdrawn her daughter from school till the end of term, which obviously makes things easier for howler, but my heart breaks for the other little girl... and her mum... she’s where I was a year ago... so frustrating that they can’t claim ignorance because this is the same as what happened to george without support and it effected him, the class, the teacherr. They know what to do... and can put things in place very quickly with a little jiggers pokery when a formal complaint is made/ threatened.
The very sad thing I’ve learned with our school and the budget cuts/ lack of knowledge... is that to get things done you have to bypass nice and go straight to... this is what my child is entitled to, I need to talk to the person with authority to put this in place and we won’t accept being shooed away with vague airy mentions of inclusion.
Hard... it’s exhausting fighting for your own kids, but I can’t bear seeing others not getting what they need either...
Mr monkey accuses me of wanting to help all of the children all of the time...
But I find it so hard to see a child struggling when so many little do-able things would make a massive difference.
Argh rant over!
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Post by serrakunda on Jul 10, 2019 22:11:48 GMT
I've been discovering over the last few months just how truly shocking the state of children's services has plummeted to. So many children are being failed.
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 11, 2019 7:52:52 GMT
It’s awful isn’t it.. just been reading up on what’s been happening with simba’s bro... it’s awful
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