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Post by daffin on Oct 18, 2013 1:19:12 GMT
Hello all. DH and I had our AD's birth sister placed with us under the new Foster to Adopt regulations (similar to Concurrency) several weeks ago. We're dealing with two hourly feeds and Reflux at the moment - with all the related sleep deprivation associated, plus a nearly 4 DS who's keen on constant attention and is not so good at sharing our attention. The court case is complex and she may well not stay with us, though we very much hope she does - we are totally besotted. Has anyone here done Concurrency or Fostering to Adopt? Any Foster Carers with advice (particularly around dealing with the emotional fall-out of moving on an infant)? Particularly if there are other children in the household, whose emotions you have to help manage.
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Post by nomoretears on Oct 18, 2013 14:46:58 GMT
Hi I'm a foster carer who's moved on numerous children - some more easily than others I have to say! It's always very difficult to move on a child who's been with you since birth, and it must be even harder as this is your ADs birth sister. Has SW given any advice in whether she should be prepared already incase little one doesnt stay with you? Or are they going to leave it all to the last minute (!) and hope she stays? Children can seem unaffected when another child leaves, but there is ALWAYS an effect even if it takes a while to come out. My latest FC started showing altered behaviour which we think was due to the move of another child several months after the other child left.
Unfortunately I have far too much experience of babies with reflux - I think I spent most of the last few years covered in sick and washing it out of my clothes - sometimes it was so bad I'd just get into the shower without bothering to undress! Have you tried Gaviscon or is baby too young yet? ( Be warned, its no miracle cure and none of the babies ive tried with it seemed to get any relief from it. others swear by it though). Other practical tips I found were propping cot up high at one end (you can buy blocks for this but I used Argos catalogues), wrapping a pillowcase tightly round the head end of the mattress (make sure it's safe for baby though) so you don't have to change all the bedding at night, keeping baby upright for at least 30 minutes after each feed - tough at night I know because babies with reflux often feed more often to soothe the burning pain they get. Some of the babies I've had with it preferred to sleep in their buggies than in a cot but you need to get to about 3-4 months before they can do this.
There is tons of advice online and I'm sure other people will give plenty more advice about moving children on too should you need it.
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Post by daffin on Oct 18, 2013 19:55:02 GMT
Thanks for the Reflux advice. Yes, she's on Infant Gaviscon and Ranitidine. Not helping yet! (And I meant to say she is the birth sister of our AS not AD!) the SWs haven't given us any advice at all on how to manage our son's emotions if she moves on. It's interesting - and daunting - to hear that their emotional reaction can emerge several months later. I'm not entirely surprised, though. They're complex little creatures, kids!
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Post by phoebe on Oct 18, 2013 19:56:19 GMT
Daffin, I might be asking the obvious but is baby lactose intolerant? If reflux is severe, could it be a sensitivity? I know there are issues with it, but would a soy milk be better? Just a thought. Hope you are loving having a teeny with you, even if it's still uncertain what lies ahead. Prayers for all of you that things go smoothly and babe can stay. x
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Post by daffin on Oct 18, 2013 20:56:01 GMT
Hi Phoebe. Yes, we asked the GP that and he poo-pooed us! She was born prematurely (at 31 weeks) and Reflux is more common with premies, but doing really well other than the Reflux. It's just a shame she is so uncomfortable!
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Post by loadsofbubs on Oct 18, 2013 21:33:17 GMT
you can buy OTC lactose free baby milk (but might need to order it from the pharmacy). its very expensive but might be worth trying it to see if it makes a difference and if it does go back with the evidence! tho as a lac you'd have to ask the health visitor and sw first before changing her diet. I had a foster bubs who was lactose intolerant and it stopped the vomiting almost immediately. my youngest was also lactose intolerant til he was about 3 (due to multiple bowel surgeries) and used soy products, but he is almost 20 now and think soy is not recommended for tinies now.
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Post by daffin on Oct 19, 2013 13:59:46 GMT
Thanks for the advice. I'll talk to the HV and SW next week.
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Post by loadsofbubs on Oct 20, 2013 7:19:52 GMT
it can be got on prescription as well but if the gp is poo poing it, it can be easier to get the advice from the hv, try it and then take the evidence to the gp for a prescription or ask the hv to tell the gp, might have more weight if lactose intolerance is the problem. may just be a sicky baby tho, had plenty of those without the lactose intolerance too!! but worth a try for bub's comfort and health and definitely from the sicky smell and huge amounts of washing prevention for yourselves!  |
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