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Post by mudlark on Oct 6, 2017 21:52:54 GMT
sorry everyone...but I am going through stuff I really didn't expect to for a few years yet.
I think Lapwing is masterbating in bed at night,( I wont go into details but surfice to say it seems evident)....which in principle is all fine by me, other than she is quite young. I have no idea if she was in any way abused or witness to sexual acts, ( but I expect some of the latter) and I don't know if her sudden masturbation is normal or communicating some other anxiety, or is just all part of the onset of puberty, or is part of playing out some other issues....( she has been very anxious of late) Anyway just another question to other parents....how have others dealt with this. If she were my birth child I would just accept it, but with Lapwing everything has possible underlining meaning....thanks in advance.
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Post by damson on Oct 6, 2017 22:10:05 GMT
I feel that maybe you are on the alert and for this reason, it all seems more significant.
I know from our adoption preparation that it is quite common as a form of self stimulation/ self comfort, even in very young children.
She has understood that it is private, which is a good thing.
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 6, 2017 23:20:15 GMT
its been a problem here, periodically since he was 9 or so, primarily because Simba hasnt understood it private. Huge issues last year as he would run round the house, or worse nanny's, with very obvious results shall we say.
I don't feel its been anything other than a sensory or a comfort thing, I've often gone into his room to tuck him in and found him snoring away with a finger up his nose and a hand down his pants !
I've had to tackle it because he just had no concept of it being something private, took a long time to get it through to him but now he understands that I dont see it as an issue.
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Post by mudlark on Oct 7, 2017 18:26:24 GMT
I should have said she is often touching herself in public, I have told her its something that is private but she is just not hearing me. It's started just as she has finally stopped picking her nose and wiping it all over the house in a very unpleasant fashion!
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 7, 2017 18:50:28 GMT
that is different then. I had a variety of approaches, just moving his hand away when I could see where it was heading, sending him out of the room, telling him that if he persisted that we woudnt be invited back to friends, sending him to wash his hands repeatedly, banning him from using remote controls and anything else I had to touch, giving him permission to do it in his room.
It was covered in one of the books I read with him so I also refer him back to that. But I think its hard for them to learn what is socially acceptable. I think it needs peristent reinforcement, which can be hard to do and avoid shaming them
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Post by lankelly on Nov 4, 2017 18:40:24 GMT
Tweedledee has done this since an infant, it has taken many different forms and has taken ages for her to accept adults especially should not be in view. Her siblings dont seem to notice.but she does keep her hands out and kinda sits on them. We dont call it masturbation to her or others and professionals refer to it as genital stimulation.We don't want to attribute it as a sexual urge In our case i think it was a soothing way of regulating herself when little, now at nearly 8 Id say its a bit more. She is very cross if we try to stop her, we told school and when they then noticed said 'everyone's hands up on the table' so she wasn't singled out. We also went through the NSPCC PANTS rule and various other development books to reinforce privacy. Complex issue, our eldest boy has no inhibitions either.
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