More reflections from me.
Jun 12, 2016 7:22:36 GMT
vickyvixen, lilyofthevalley, and 1 more like this
Post by aprilshowers on Jun 12, 2016 7:22:36 GMT
Well our birthday season is still in full flow, today is littlys 18th, finally tied her down and she agreed to meet us yesterday for a lunch out with the new boyfriend who is not the father of her baby (another boy due October) it went ok, but she was keen to get away as soon as she could, asked why we all could not meet up on her day with the whole family as we would have liked...she is busy, turns out that friend of ex boyfriends mum is doing something for her...she did not want her dad to put up on facebook the photo of all of us at the restaurant as the ex will go mad that she is out with someone else...who happens to be a friend of his...lord help us all this is messy.
Well my birthday went as well as could be expected, we planned nothing for the weekend (bday was on a Monday) but after a call from my niece wanting to pop round with cards etc, her telling me how excited her 5 year old was as he had chosen a special gift for me along with a card and wrapping paper...so a few texts sent out dinner made and a nice lunch in a sunny garden with son girlfriend and baby hubby niece and great nephew sister and brother in law, middly was unwell as was her bubs but she had got me a very thoughtful gift and cards, son and partner again thoughtful gift and cards, sister always spoils me as she sees it as her mission in life to make up for my children.
So all in all this season is going better than I could ever imagine. For middlys birthday we had previously arranged for her and boyfriend and bubs to stay the bank holiday saying it will give his parents a break, they came and stayed and it went well, we invited his family over for a meal and duly seven of them turned up again all was well, but it was hard for middly and she struggled in the down times but she was more relaxed than I have seen her in for a while.
There was only one incident over that weekend that could have gone very wrong but I verbalised my personal boundaries and house rules and both siblings accepted that and it was sorted quickly....sibling trauma bonds don't go with age.
So we are all jogging along, they have made their choices..we dont agree with them and we know that things could have been so much better for them but this is how it is and they are making a life for themselves, some drama and crises but they are living a life they want. we too are moving on and living more of the life we want they know that we have plans and will be doing things independently of them and they sort of accept that, there is some moaning...why cant we come or why are we not invited but again this is how it will be.
Its surreal to watch some things, seeing a caring mum and a doting dad, to see ds helping dad lay a gravel patio, seeing future daughter in law comfortable in my kitchen making potato salad, never thought I would see that sort of normality, for the time being I am happy, there will be dark times again but I hold onto those images. Stay strong things can change.
Well my birthday went as well as could be expected, we planned nothing for the weekend (bday was on a Monday) but after a call from my niece wanting to pop round with cards etc, her telling me how excited her 5 year old was as he had chosen a special gift for me along with a card and wrapping paper...so a few texts sent out dinner made and a nice lunch in a sunny garden with son girlfriend and baby hubby niece and great nephew sister and brother in law, middly was unwell as was her bubs but she had got me a very thoughtful gift and cards, son and partner again thoughtful gift and cards, sister always spoils me as she sees it as her mission in life to make up for my children.
So all in all this season is going better than I could ever imagine. For middlys birthday we had previously arranged for her and boyfriend and bubs to stay the bank holiday saying it will give his parents a break, they came and stayed and it went well, we invited his family over for a meal and duly seven of them turned up again all was well, but it was hard for middly and she struggled in the down times but she was more relaxed than I have seen her in for a while.
There was only one incident over that weekend that could have gone very wrong but I verbalised my personal boundaries and house rules and both siblings accepted that and it was sorted quickly....sibling trauma bonds don't go with age.
So we are all jogging along, they have made their choices..we dont agree with them and we know that things could have been so much better for them but this is how it is and they are making a life for themselves, some drama and crises but they are living a life they want. we too are moving on and living more of the life we want they know that we have plans and will be doing things independently of them and they sort of accept that, there is some moaning...why cant we come or why are we not invited but again this is how it will be.
Its surreal to watch some things, seeing a caring mum and a doting dad, to see ds helping dad lay a gravel patio, seeing future daughter in law comfortable in my kitchen making potato salad, never thought I would see that sort of normality, for the time being I am happy, there will be dark times again but I hold onto those images. Stay strong things can change.
