LO has been on a school trip today which involved a long walk (about an hour) there and being in the fresh air all day. The excitement / trepidation before school as to why no uniform was needed and worries about the unknown were tricky to manage. We set her up as much as we could to have a good day and it was a miracle that I didn't get "the" call until 3.45pm. Sadly it was all too much and the last half hour of her day was chaotic. As it involved being aggressive and physically hurting members of staff and refusing to apologise (her standard line is "I don't care" which she doesn't really mean) it has to be referred to the SENCO and Head tomorrow for a decision about a consequence. Sadly this isn't the 1st incident this week and whilst school are putting in lots of measures they are struggling. LO has benefitted from a full time TA for the last 2 weeks as her pupil has been off sick but this seems to have made matters worse as she has built a trust in this individual which means that she feels comfortable enough to hurt her and be as rude to her as she is to me at home. I'm not sure what the "consequence" is going to be - it's anxiety provoking for me and I'm sure is 10x worse for LO but I'm really not convinced that she gives a damn!
Tell them no consequence. Reward for doing so well and changing their plans for next time - that you collect her about an hour from the end.
Mum to AS Big Fish (19, 16 years at home) and AS Little Minnow (13, almost 6 years at home), came separately, and now a wonderful, feisty horse who lets me escape from kids with attitude and the drudgery of disability services and a top of the range adapted van provided by the council fulfilling their legal requirements!
Been there, experienced that. It's horrid. And I always feel torn between explaining to the child why they are in the wrong (which mine definitely knows now if she didn't when younger) and defending them from the school's persistence that they must have a sanction when I know that they just get too overwhelmed to cope.
I agree with the idea of focusing on the positive of the fact she coped most of the day and perhaps proposing cutting things short another time.
I'd also counsel you to think ahead to secondary as I wish we had. Mainstream secondaries are less forgiving than primaries so maybe special provision would be better. (Thought primary was quite stressful but it's nothing compared to secondary with threats of exclusion and draconian punishments etc)
Email tonight from SENCO requesting urgent meeting with her and the Head tomorrow. Plus, she wants to bring forward review meeting with professionals.
Milly, we already have a report stating that specialist provision will be necessary for secondary but current school totally dismissed it. She's not even got an EHCP (we applied but school refused to support it) - think they might be thinking differently now! It's a scary prospect as we live in a rural area and I don't think there are any appropriate schools for quite some distance.
We don't know of any suitable special schools either TBH and we live in an urban area. We wouldn't consider boarding. Also were told dd wouldn't get a statement at primary. Her secondary school applied and were turned down when she was in year 7. But we've lived with constant complaints about her behaviour since she started nursery at 3. She eventually got an EHC plan about six months ago in year 10! I think it was the years of unsettled behaviours that swung it. Still issues though. But we are pushing to sit it out at mainstream given we've come this far (and there are lots of positives, not least that she likes school) - unless she does something truly awful...
Hope the meeting proves / proved useful - perhaps they'll take the issues more seriously now.
Hmm, interesting meetings over the last few days. Application for EHCP to be submitted asap. School unsure that they can continue to meet LO's needs. "Best to start looking at options whilst you still have options" said the SENCO. The odd thing is that I feel okay about it. It doesn't come as a surprise and if there is a facility where LO will get the therapeutic support that she so desperately needs then it can only be a good thing. Even the thought of not having the daily walk of shame has lifted my spirits. 3 appointments last week, 3 this week and 2 next - it's taking its toll and if some of these could take place within school (rather than us travelling at least 45 mins for each) then that has to be positive.