patanya
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Post by patanya on Oct 23, 2015 20:32:23 GMT
Hi, LO now almost 6 in year 1. Had really good start and I like his teacher who is SENCO too and willing to listen to me. However I strongly dislike head teacher for a variety of reasons - this got worse last week - I was very upset to find out he'd taken my son out of class without telling me (no one else from his class) but a few other children for safe-guarding reasons??? This included being shown heads computers and taken on playground to be asked things like should you be out here without your teacher etc? My little boy then got locked out of school and nobody noticed. He started crying and 2 older boys out on the playing field heard him and helped him find a door to get back in. He then walked down corridor back to class and told his teachers. No one told me - my son did on our way home. Husband was furious and rang school who brushed it off and said it was only for 60 seconds! Lo told me yesterday deputy head had taken him out on playground again yesterday and told him head and he had been out there and LO must have not seen them. My LO then said I am sure they weren't mummy but they must be right because they are adults. He also said the deputy head told him he didn't believe two boys had let him in! I know my LO is telling me the truth and I feel they know they have done wrong and are trying to cover their backs. Since then my LO has had 4 incidents of kicking off at school and several at home. I feel he has lost trust in those that are suppose to keep him safe. Life has changed very sharply in days. LO seems to react to anything getting violent and aggressive at small things. He tried to kick me tonight and punched husband and spat all over his face before bed. He has always had problems controlling his anger but over the last few days it has got a lot worse.
any suggestions appreciated.
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Post by pingu on Oct 23, 2015 23:38:14 GMT
What explanations do they have for why your son was out of class ., and especially why was he in the playground ? how come he was on his own and how the h** did he end up stuck outside. No wonder he doesnt feel safe at school and is acting out at home. If all this is as it seems, then there is a lot of questions needing answered. Personally, if it was my child, and he was a reliable child in terms of telling you what is happening, then I would not be sending him to this school , at least till i got explanations that reassured me. Even iif this is all a mistake, or misunderstanding your son is clearly being put in situations he does not understand or cannot cope with. A head or depute of a primary school should be skilled at reassuring year one children. Not putting them in situations like this.
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Post by corkwing on Oct 24, 2015 7:36:55 GMT
Hi, Patanya -
I wasn't clear on the bit where he got left outside. Was this when the head took him out, or was it that he got left behind at a playtime or something like that? As an ex-governor I would have taken that extremely seriously, particularly if it had been the former - in which case I would have suggested taking legal advice as to whether it was a disciplinary matter. If it was the latter, even if the head and deputy had been there, the blame is on them for not noticing the situation, not on your son for not noticing them - or the other children for not alerting them. And what were THEY (the other children) doing out on the field without supervision? At this point, as a governor, I would have been getting apoplectic!
I'd also have been concerned about the safeguarding stuff. What on earth was going on there? Is this standard, as in the head takes all of the children out in small groups to talk about keeping themselves safe? If not, I'd have been very concerned about the head selecting children to take out. On what criteria? (He collected a number of children from different classes? As opposed to taking your son off on his own?) If he'd taken your son off on his own, I'd have also had alarm bells ringing about safeguarding. If it was children from different classes, I'd want to know why: why had he not taken groups from the same class?
I would suggest that you contact the head of governors with your concerns and possibly consider whether to send your son back to the school until they have been adequately dealt with. You may also want to contact the local authority as well so that they are aware of the situation, although the responsibility for handling this does lie with the governors.
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Post by milly on Oct 24, 2015 8:55:57 GMT
Agree with Corkwing. As he is so young and they have duty of care, none of this can be your son's fault. Even if he did misunderstand the situation, they should be reassuring him and checking their procedures. You are definitely owed a considered explanation, and if the head won't provide it, you need to complain to the governors. I'd also keep him off if he is so distressed until you are satisfied with the response.
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patanya
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Married Adopter
Posts: 50
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Post by patanya on Oct 24, 2015 22:09:12 GMT
Hi, thanks all for your replies. Just to confirm it was the head who took him out. He was the only child from his class (of 30). My son says a few others from other classes went too. When my husband rang to ask for an explanation he was told it was for safe-guarding purposes. His teacher later told me it wasn't for that but just a random selection and they also talked about things like healthy eating? While the head had my son and a few other children outside in the playground during lesson time apparently the deputy head came over and asked them what they were doing. My belief is that the head and deputy head were too busy talking to each other they went back in with the other children and forgot my LO. I also believe that the deputy head is trying to make my son think he was mistaken when he actually knows they forgot him and in fact the deputy told my husband he "was only locked out for 60 seconds" and this apparently was due to running ahead of the group!!! We do have lots of unresolved concerns compounded by the fact another child apparently got out of school last week too and was brought back by their parent! Only certain parents recently received an email about this. It is half-term this week and we will write a letter of complaint to the governors as advised- thank you. This school recently received outstanding from OFSTED - really not deserved. Today after a bad day yesterday LO much calmer and happier.
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Post by corkwing on Oct 25, 2015 13:49:57 GMT
Glad to hear that LO is calmer and happier, but the whole thing sounds bizarre and, as I said, if I was a governor I would be concerned.
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Post by runmum on Oct 27, 2015 13:56:45 GMT
Having battled with a head who acted in a controlling and manipulative for the many years I would say you need to know more about the governance of the school before you plot a strategy. Corkwing is right that as a governor he would be concerned but Corkwing is an amazing man of great moral judgement, wisdom and insight and that's not always the case. Our head who has now thankfully gone oppressed staff, had no respect for parents, was vindictive towards anyone who stood up to her and was disliked by any parent who had to deal with her in anything other than a totally positive context. Despite this when OFSTED visited recently she managed to get specific praise for her outstanding leadership (even though evidence was submitted to the contrary? ) Parents knew there was no point going to the governors and I will not explain the full reasons why here as it might be too identifying but fair to say they were unlikely to be fully independent!! Of course there are other options open to parents for action but no-one had ever succeeded in holding her to account and some parents felt that for standing up to speak their children had suffered hence no one was keen to take it all on. You have enough to contend with so find out more before you wade in. Sounds like other teachers are joining in with the cover up if there is one and that makes me concerned - a child being left in a playground is a safeguarding issue but no doubt they will explain that the gates are locked etc etc and it will all become defensive. The key point to stick with is that your child has been very distressed by the experience and it must not happen again to them or any other child. Given this the outcome you want is for your child to feel safe, for your trust in the leadership of the school to be restored and for a plan to be in place that gives you confidence that nothing like this will happen again. I would have a face to face formal meeting with the head first and take someone from post adoption support or parent partnership - or whatever they are called now - this shows you mean business. Say that the purpose of the meeting is to explore what happened and work in partnership to restore trust and enhance safeguarding. If this gets you nowhere and you think the governors are independent and able to do their job then go for that then Ofsted as your next option. You could at the same time look for another school with a place - that way you will be blowing the whistle and doing your civic duty but also putting your child's needs first. We should have taken both our children out at the first sign of lack of willingness to work with us in a reasonable way - we did not because rightly we wanted to give our children stability if at all possible. The trouble was the more time went on the more they established important friendships and it became harder and harder to consider moving. I wish we had beamed them up somewhere else as soon as it became clear we were getting nowhere despite being assertive and reasonable. If you have any evidence that there is anything more sinister associated with taking specific children out of class with no other witnesses then I would go straight to OFSTED but that does not sound like what you are saying.
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