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Post by monkey on Oct 7, 2013 19:28:49 GMT
LO hasn't had a friend from school to play yet - she's just started in Year 1. We've been to a few birthday parties together but they haven't been terribly successful.
Her best friend is Eastern European and doesn't speak a lot of English plus she's a very quiet little soul. LO is desperate to invite this friend to play. LO is completely the opposite personality and will overpower her friend and will be extra-hyper with the excitement.
I have an opportunity this week with BD at her friends to invite LOs friend over. I am so, so nervous about it.
Practically, my head says don't do it but in my heart I worry that LO is missing out on lots of social opportunities and that I really ought to give it a go. I also worry that if LO kicks off then the friend might be frightened off.
A trip to the park won't cut it as LO is desperate to have her friend play in her bedroom.
Any tips / advice? MMx
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Post by piglet on Oct 7, 2013 20:15:15 GMT
Make it as short as possible with a long tea in the middle?
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Post by ceci on Oct 7, 2013 20:17:09 GMT
It's a tricky area. It's one thing that hasn't got much better for my dd as she's got older. I remember her being the same age as your little one and I invited a friend over. We were new to the area and I really wanted her to make friends. Well, it was a disaster. My dd just couldn't cope and her behaviour was all over the place!! I learnt a huge lesson that day and we didn't have any friends over for a very long time. Now I choose them carefully and often we go out. I would go with your gut feeling (but it is hard when your child really wants friends over and everyone else is doing it ) Ceci
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Post by pluto on Oct 7, 2013 20:18:08 GMT
I would invite the friend and organise the activities. Do not leave them alone, say the rule is no friends in bedroom. If she says but bd has, say she's much older when you are 10 you can play with friends in your bedroom as well. Bake cupcakes with them, let them decorate, than eat. let them watch a dvd, make something the child can bring home (some seeds in a pot (decorate pot), do memory or another board game, no longer than 2 hours
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Post by smileycat on Oct 7, 2013 20:52:43 GMT
I've found Plutos method works v well for us. I always stick close to my DD when she has a friend to play. Could you swing by the park on the way home to burn off a bit of the excitement ??
Good luck.
SC x
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Post by sivier on Oct 7, 2013 21:40:43 GMT
MM
If desperate to play in her bedroom, could you do an activity that occupies them both, eg a treasure hunt, then takes them elsewhere?
I sympathise as my AD can be very controlling and playdates can be fraught. I have a load of little Superman logos I've printed out (her fave superhero) and then hide them - and once she and her friend have found a certain number they get some treasure (a tangerine, or a new glitter crayon each - it doesn't seem to matter!)...
Also make/decorate paper belts or badges, or put cake mix into tins them decorate the cakes to take home. Another good one for occupying/managing the playdate is an 'obstacle course' with hoola hoop, minu trampoline to do shapes, miniature show jumping course with flower pots and bamboo canes (small garden) or printing off a pic of a favourite character from the computer and colouring in... This kind of thing often works, helps them collaborate (especially where language is an issue) and they seem to love the adult engaging with them - but also allows a bit of space....
Hope it goes well x
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Post by sivier on Oct 7, 2013 22:04:56 GMT
Sorry about all the typos - a 'minu' trampoline? um what is that?!
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Post by sooz on Oct 8, 2013 8:56:16 GMT
As Pluto says, if you do it make it very organised. Tell dd in advance that this first play date will be with you in charge at all times and give her a choice of low key activities.
Gentle win win situations and see how it goes. X
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 9:35:24 GMT
Think Pluto's idea of you doing activities and supervising the playdate is good advice as you can control and distract a bit if needed.
Often children love the "idea" of having a friend in their room, but sometimes having that friend play/touch their precious things can be different in reality which is why supervision is a good idea until you see how they adjust/get on.
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Post by monkey on Oct 8, 2013 20:53:08 GMT
Thanks all. It's all arranged - just 2 hours and I'll have plenty arranged. Thank you so much for all your comments and ideas. MMx
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Post by smileycat on Oct 8, 2013 21:15:38 GMT
Oh that sounds perfect.
Good luck to you. Fingers and toes crossed.
And yes, do let us know how it goes!!
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Post by moo on Oct 9, 2013 6:53:17 GMT
I'm with Pluto on this.... Followed her tips myself & ( touching wood) it has always worked like a charm.... I too build in trampoline or park to burn off some of the mania induced excitement.... Just for 10 mins....
Good Luck ( don't forget to breathe !!!!! )
Xx. moo. Xx
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