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Post by swimchic on Oct 7, 2013 18:47:19 GMT
Hello all..
Just looking for some words of wisdom....
Pink has settled well into school. Its a very small village school. She is really thriving and always goes in very happy.
At the start of term a newsletter came out and they welcomed Pink and another child in it. I have now found out that the same newsletter has been printed in the Village magazine. Her first name and surname are in it.
Now, I'm a tad fed up about it as (A) I wasn't asked for permission to print her name and (B) Confidentiality . I have no idea who will see that newsletter. We haven't officially adopted Pink yet, so she is still deemed a LAC...
SO, I need to speak to someone about it.. Ideas/suggestions how to do this please ! I don't want to come over as a precious parent, but they need to know that I'm not happy about it!
Thanks in advance!
Swimchic
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Post by haze on Oct 7, 2013 18:51:11 GMT
That's tricky as it is already 'out there' is the newsletter has been distributed.
Did you receive a permissions letter in your induction pack asking you about consent for photos, etc? Most schools now use these.
I would give them a ring and ask to speak with the head as it is a safeguarding issue. I would also let your SW know about it.
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Post by Ad-minnie! on Oct 7, 2013 19:15:16 GMT
I am wondering if it wasn't the school, but whoever makes up the Village magazine (i.e. did they just copy what they had read in the newsletter???). Something similar nearly happened to me when LO first came home. Somebody had suggested that they put something in the local magazine but without asking me!!! Fortunately, (very fortunately), the lady who was responsible for the section of the magazine it would have gone into had several adopted family members and took the trouble to ask me my feelings. Phew!!!
Really sorry to hear that it has happened to you. It might be worth contacting the school because if it was them then it would help to prevent something similar happening again, and if it wasn't the school themselves may not be happy about the Village magazine printing something from their newsletter because of confidentiality etc.
I do not think you will come across as a precious parent. I was at an event and a photographer was taking photos of some of the children attending for their events facebook page. Although I felt awkward, I asked her not to take any of my LO explaining that there was a security risk. I think its just people don't understand adoption and that adopters often do not want their LOs photo/name anywhere in the public domain. I think the fact many parents do put pics of their children on fb doesn't help here.
Not sure if I have made any sense here!
But I really feel for you swimchic. I hope that whoever you speak to is understanding.
Minnie x
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blueberry
New Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 16
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Post by blueberry on Oct 7, 2013 20:34:54 GMT
This also raises the significant question of whether or not to use the birth family surname when adopting a school age child. Thankfully, despite the SWs being adamant that we had no choice, our school was flexible. Our DD's original surname was logged on official records (which noone really sees), but on the class register, books, in class etc, our name was used from the beginning.
This not only helps with security of child, but also avoids the other biggie further on down the line, when a new child suddenly changes her surname. Why impose this public change of name on budding families? By having our surname to start with, we could have some control over when and if our DD's adoption became public knowledge.
SWs argue that using the birth family name is safer, in case things go wrong and there is a disruption (or whatever it's called, pre-Adoption Order). I would argue that in such circumstances, the least of the worries for the child would be another change of surname.
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Post by swimchic on Oct 8, 2013 6:45:08 GMT
Thanks for the replies.
I am going in today to talk to them. Its difficult as they have made us all feel so welcome. However, I have spoken to them about photos and told them it's a no no and they do know that she is still a LAC. So no excuses.
When I was in there office yesterday, I also saw a name of a child who is on CP, so my thoughts are that confidentiality is not a high priority.
The Head is currently of sick at the moment, so maybe things have slid, but at the end of the day, its our daughters safety and we should of been informed that her name would be in the newsletter!
Swimchic
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Post by justbserene11 on Oct 8, 2013 7:17:59 GMT
Hi,
When you speak to them, remind the school of safeguarding and like others have said look through any packs to see if you have 'signed' anything. I do think it is quite poor really, l am not sure if your AD's BF are close by but If her name has remained the same it will not take a genius to put two and two together. If it were me l would maybe ask her or your SW to speak to them also ( they may want to anyway, considering she still is a LAC) to speak about the importance of CP.
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Post by swimchic on Oct 8, 2013 8:59:42 GMT
Thanks.. So I went into school and spoke to teacher. She could see my concern and was very sympathetic. She did say "oh yes, I saw her name and I did wonder too"..As the Head is off sick, she is going to speak to the secretary.
Meanwhile, I have rung and emailed both of our sw's and am about to make myself a large coffee and eat far too much chocolate!
Thanks for your support all.
Swimchic x
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Post by cowgirl on Oct 8, 2013 9:14:43 GMT
Hi similar here. LO did a painting for village competition & name was published. This was before AO.
Go back a few years & would I of been as thoughtless .... Yes as I'm not involved in education etc
My local authority are happy to nip into school & do a quick talk to school which I will take then up on once I'm aware of the content. Would this be something your sw or child sw would to ? Just in case there are other aspects they may not have experienced yet.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 9:17:54 GMT
Don't think you are over re-acing at all Swimchic and think it's good that school are being reminded of this. Confidential stuff should be that, confidential, and they need to learn from this.
I think Blueberry is right, I can't see why any school can't just say "known by adoptive parents surname" even if AO doesn't go through for whatever reason, it is only a few copy books and letters that would have had the child's new surname on them, so no harm done, but would save an awful lot of questions and awkwardness of name changing at a later date when it all goes right, as it does in the vast majority of cases.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 9:20:17 GMT
Just thought, maybe another thing to add to the list that Patanya was going to compile to give to nurseries/schools. See school resources board.
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