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Post by serrakunda on May 22, 2015 22:38:28 GMT
poor simba getting so agitated about secondary school
we have had a chat every day this week about something he is worried about. Yesterday we had nearly an hour on him being worried about detention. He's worried about not getting things right and getting into trouble. Pointed out to him that in three years his teacher has only ever once told me about something 'naughty'. And that was very minor and so out of character she was worried !
tonight he is worried about not making friends
i know he will be ok once he's there, but next four months is going to be rocky
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Post by ham on May 23, 2015 4:31:34 GMT
Change is so hard. Are the school doing transitional work with him. Keep reassuring him . I would also add if you do get it wrong, mess up you will help him deal with it and you will still love him etc.may be he could write a letter to the school about his fears.
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Post by serrakunda on May 23, 2015 8:55:59 GMT
Yes there is lots going on, we have been to three Saturday schools at the new school. After half term school will be having a special group for him and a few others working on transition, in July there is a city wide transition day, the whole of year 6 go to their new schools so he will meet his year group. I'll have a meeting with senco about what support he needs. The new school also do a summer school in the long holiday.
Support also coming from unexpected places. When he moved up to scouts they put him in a patrol with older kids from the new school which was very thoughtful.
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Post by chotimonkey on May 23, 2015 8:57:33 GMT
There's a pocture book whos title I forget, maybe I'll love you all day long... It's about a pig starting school and it goes through tge whole school day with the mum saying I'll love you when you habg your coat up etc all the way through the day, it also has him making lots of little mistakes, spilling juice, feeling scared at the top of a big slide, getting a sum wrong, not knowing where to put his coat and none of it mattering cos his mum I loving him all day long xmight be too young, but might help x
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Post by milly on May 23, 2015 12:11:49 GMT
Sounds like he is getting a lot of opportunities to acclimatise to aspects of the new school - not sure there is much more you can do on a practical level. Older dd went through a very anxious time over it and took a while before she stopped missing primary school once she got there. (TBH never really flourished there and has now moved schools but that is a whole other story).
With dd2, she has the chance to go to a relatively small school (compared to some other local secondaries) very close to her primary, with a number of peers from her class, hopefully including some of her best friends and will most likely have contact sessions with the new school as a matter of course next year when she is in year 6 since the two schools are so close - it's a no brainer and we can't seriously consider any other school for her (the school has a good reputation too and other parents love it). But I still think she is going to be very anxious. And where dd1 shows her anxiety through behaviour, dd2 articulates hers quite clearly and at great length! Just hoping all the positive factors mean she'll not be as anxious as I fear....
It is a huge transition - all you can do is talk through worries and reassure constantly. At least September isn't so far off now! Oh that reminds me, dd1 had a funny turn when on holiday just prior to starting secondary - became aggressive and rather crazy when we were in a strange town - we literally had to hold on to her to avoid her running off. She later explained the town buildings reminded her of our home city and that reminded her of starting secondary and she felt she couldn't cope. (Up to that point we had been at a hotel, by the sea in a rural location)
Sorry not much help, just sympathy.
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Post by serrakunda on May 23, 2015 16:19:12 GMT
No I don't think there is much more we can do, just listen and reassure, going to be a long 4 months though
Not helped by the love of his life who can't decide who changes her mind on a daily basis about whether she 'loves' him or not, and tells him everyday if he is in favour or not, he just takes it too much to heart
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Post by moo on May 23, 2015 18:01:44 GMT
Oohhh poor simba.... girls 'eh they are so fickle & cruel.... xxx hugs for you both xxx
Xx moo xx
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Post by pluto on May 24, 2015 0:09:54 GMT
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Post by bop on May 24, 2015 8:58:26 GMT
I know the feeling - DD2 will start High School in August. She has told several people she is not worried as she is not going!
Both schools have been great and she has had lots of additional transition stuff, has already been allocated and met her buddy for next year (a Y6 pupil with similar interests) and is now starting to talk about what she will wear as uniform.... Her biggest fear is because of DD1 and the problems she had at High School - and DD1s "friends" although we have been able to point out that almost all those friends will be 16 by September and will not be staying on (many won't even have the option).
We are about a month ahead of you in that our school year starts earlier - and I would say in the last month she has really moved forward postiveily on this....
As for our part - its about reassuring, listening, acknowledging the tricky stuff and just being there for her.
Bop
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Post by elderberry on Jun 4, 2015 11:58:15 GMT
We have a workbook called "My New School", by Melissa L. Trautman, written with ASD children in mind, lots of pages to fill in information about the school, learning all the things you might need to know. It's a bit American (what's the school's tornado evacuation plan?), but it's pretty good.
Also, the PAC's book "A Good Practice Guide for Schools" has a set of photocopiable pages in the back for adopted children to write down the information they'd like their teachers to know.
That said, yes, last summer was a nightmare for us, and anxiety about high school destroyed our holiday away. A year on and everyone has agreed that DD isn't coping in mainstream, and I'm waiting for the LA to get their ducks in a row and agree to fund a specialist school for her, with weekly boarding. I have made it clear for months now that DD needs to start before the end of the school year so she doesn't spend another summer panicking about changing schools. And here we are, six weeks from the end of term, and we're still not there. Grrrrrr.
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Post by serrakunda on Jun 8, 2015 16:22:01 GMT
Year tutor from new school has been in today, and they have started transition support in school. He is sounding quite upbeat about it, more than he has for a long time
There are two others from his class going to the same school. Unfortunately one of the others is the on/off ( mostly off) girlfriend. I don't think she is being deliberately horrible, she is just being 10, whilst Simba of course is still thinking weddings and four children
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Post by bop on Jun 13, 2015 14:55:46 GMT
Glad things are a bit better
DD had two full transition days this week with the whole year group - she coped really well mostly and seems calmer this weekend and maybe even looking forward to going in August. I was a bit emotional as she walked off with her friends - she seemed so grown up!
Bop
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