louie
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Post by louie on Oct 2, 2013 14:51:25 GMT
Have AS at home at the moment, apart from 1 hr school each morning. So now I get all the behaviour school did. I'm supposed to be doing to work at home with him but although he was almost keen to do that before, now he simply refuses or puts down utter rubbish. Ok to be fair I don't get quite the behaviour school do-smashing up furniture and trying to stab his TA with part of a broken bookcase was the last 'incident' but...  ! And to top it all my 82 year old MIL has suddenly decided that I am her best friend and she must call me at least once a day about nothing what so ever, this invariably happens when the worst argument is occurring or when he is actually doing some work-so then he uses me answering the phone to cause a ruckus. Just plain pee'd off and I can't see a way out. It's so frustrating to have a very intelligent young man self destruct his life like this-I know I'm ranting to converted here. |
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 2, 2013 15:04:06 GMT
cant help with AS, but I would stop answeringt phone, you can always call back if is someone you actually want to speak to
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Post by sooz on Oct 2, 2013 17:05:30 GMT
Would have to agree, put phone direct to ansaphone while 'teaching'.
Your child is entitled to an education, would pas fund a tutor for a few hours a day? Xx
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Post by oysterbabe on Oct 2, 2013 17:44:18 GMT
I see your first post on here a week or so ago detailed the incident at school. Now it's only one hour at school per day? Who decided this and for how long? Are the school regrouping in the meantime to actively support your son upon his return to full time schooling? Sorry lots of questions but I really would suggest you phone your parent partnership service for advice and support.
In relation to your MIL I think it's sweet she is phoning perhaps to give support maybe, but could you say to her eg.. oh gosh I would love to talk but he struggles when I do so perhaps you could phone every other day, at x o'clock, I will phone you at xyz......etc etc.
sounds really tough to deal with at this young age and I was there a few years back with one of mine so I know how it feels.
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louie
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Post by louie on Oct 2, 2013 18:28:27 GMT
Thanks all. Hubbie has sorted MIL, who never even thought of the implications of her calls. Phew...
As to AS, it is an agreed 'reduced' timetable whilst we wait for medication. This poor little mite is so all over the place....my mistake today is to have tried to do any work with him whilst I knew it was a 'bad' day-he's just gone to bed & I can of course reflect and become human again! It may be that he needs to be home ed in the long run but I think then I would take a very different view to it and un-school him first. All the professionals around us are very supportive & proactive (including school), which I know we are lucky to have. Just sometimes when you are in the thick of it, that's just not enough! Actually my heart goes out to those who do not have a proactive sympathetic group around them-we've been there in the past and it wasn't good. Have lost all my family along the way but gained some new friends, so it's evened out.
Some times you just need to rant!
Thanks again, supper and collapsing on the sofa beckons!
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Post by ham on Oct 2, 2013 19:08:33 GMT
How tough for you.
Could the school make some calls to see if appointment for meds could be brought forward.
Also Rather than doing teaching could you do learning through fun cooking, games etc.
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Post by phoebe on Oct 2, 2013 19:40:35 GMT
Louie, they are quite simply breaking the law! Does you lo have a statement ? How old is he?
Have you had the Ed Psych in to assess his learning and attachment needs?
School can only put your child on P/T timetable if KS4 and disapplied from the National Curriculum. If he isn't coping it's their job to get in the support needed. His behaviour is all about not feeling safe at school - being over stimulated and stressed, without a "security blanket".
Very few of our young people can "do" school stuff at home, it puts huge strain on your relationship. If they want him out of school they need to offer a tutor or off-site provision.
Have you spoken directly with the LA?
Phoebe x
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Oct 2, 2013 19:55:32 GMT
Is a statement being applied for? If so, could you self fund a TA for him while waiting? Or do you want to HE?
Sounds tough - glad he's in bed and you get a bit of R&R now.
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Post by kstar on Oct 2, 2013 20:00:38 GMT
Try getting your school nursing service involved - they can bump GPS actions and get access to other services if children's education is being affected.
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louie
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Post by louie on Oct 3, 2013 14:24:16 GMT
Ham I totally agree that we should be learning through play-as I put above my mistake for pushing on a bad day.
As to all other services, we do have a wonderful team around us. All appointments are coming through, it just takes a bit of time and the 1 hr a day is with agreement from all for AS's benefit, as the pressure was affecting him so much.
Phoebe67, I agree with you too but when he is so stressed that his behaviour escalates to the level it was, I don't want my son to do something he will be devastated over for the rest of his life. As I said, just needed to rant! And it was my issue over misreading him-we've had a great day today, because I went with the flow.
Yes he is statemented and he has a full time, one to one. But he still can't cope with that. School are bending over backwards to help and as far as I'm concerned, him not being in is a medical issue. His mental health simply cannot take that environment at the moment. If meds can't help then I will seriously need to consider home ed for his long term well being-just my opinion of course. Thanks for all your support.
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Post by smileycat on Oct 5, 2013 21:41:04 GMT
Oh louie I was going to say to you would you consider HE. The hardest thing about HE is deciding to do it. You would need about 6 months to de-school then you can gently re-introduce 'school work' at the childs pace. It's amazing what can be achieved in an hour alone let alone 2. Great HE groups out there.... lots of support... loads of HE'ers out there....
Also as a friend said to me school is always there.....
Hugs.
SC x
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