connect4
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Post by connect4 on Apr 29, 2015 19:15:10 GMT
Hello everyone,
Our daughter, 10, is very unhappy at school and has been for some time. She has difficulties with friendships and now has no friends. We have approached the school about her social difficulties but her teacher does not really think there is a problem. Our daughter has asked repeatedly over the last two years to change schools and now due to her great unhappiness we have decided to send her to another school (yes I know her problems will go with her but this is the decision we have now made).
Does anyone know how to go about changing schools during the school year?
I believe our preferred school does have places in year 5.
Who do we approach?
Any advice?
Thank you.
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Post by bop on Apr 29, 2015 19:32:43 GMT
Here you go to the school and sort it with the head teacher there. Then tell the current school and together they whould sort the transfer.
We were always advised to do any changes part way through a term, so our kids don't spend the holidays anxiously anticipating the change. The last move we did was a bout a month before the end of the school year and that worked well.
Bop
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Post by kstar on Apr 29, 2015 20:57:56 GMT
In most places you have to go through the LA. Here you ask for a transfer form, which you complete and there is a section for the current school too. The LA then pass it on to the prospective new school, who then say if they hadve space or not.
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connect4
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Post by connect4 on Apr 30, 2015 6:26:27 GMT
Thank you bop and kstar,
I am making the calls this morning.I think I will contact the prospective school to check on local procedures etc.
Thank you bop for advice re starting time - our daughter does get very anxious about change so another good reason to change school before summer holidays.
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connect4
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Post by connect4 on Apr 30, 2015 13:15:54 GMT
Feeling sad for my little girl today. She has been at the same primary school since she came to us aged 4 and half, and now, six years later, she is leaving because she has no friends. I am grieving for her today.
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 30, 2015 13:47:14 GMT
Your poor little one connect four, v poor of the school not to acknowledge the problem or do anything to help
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Post by damson on May 2, 2015 6:38:23 GMT
It is very sad when they have no friends at all.
My DS made lasting friends in primary school, but DD, in the next year up, did not. Bit by bit, in secondary school, she learned how to do it. By 14, she had what I would call friends. The friendships were fragile, and there was a lot of fallout. By 16/17 she had more solid friendships.
Hang in there, sometimes it just takes a lot, lot longer.
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Post by milly on May 2, 2015 7:54:59 GMT
Hope the new school works out better. I feel for you all. My elder dd ended up with no friends by the end of primary. She never had good friendships before but one girl was quite loyal and others would come for playdates. Dd didn't seem too bothered - because there were few girls in her class she always had people to interact with.
At secondary she tried and failed - there were a few shortlived relationships. In year 8 she gave up on school friends seemingly but made a couple out of school which meant she had people to go bowling or to the cinema with, and to invite round.
At the beginning of year 9 (this year) she did get very down about it all plus suffered from a lot of bullying. She has now moved school and has regained a lot of confidence. She is making acquaintances at school, has rekindled some old friendships and got involved in new activities out of school off her own bat. So it feels like she is making progress. No doubt there'll be ups and downs to come but it does feel like she will get the hang of friendships.
One thing I think that has helped is she finally realised the popular girls are out of her reach and she values the others more.
Anyway, good luck with the move. (We can't believe how well our dd has coped with hers)
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connect4
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Post by connect4 on May 2, 2015 10:19:07 GMT
Hello Damson and Milly,
thank you for you hopeful and insightful replies. I am so glad your daughters have gradually learned the art of friendship and have been able to maintain some good friends - that has really given me some hope for the future. I think we will get there - she wants it so much and is trying so hard. My heart breaks for her daily when she receives another rejection - so painful for us both. But really good news - a girl at school agreed to come to tea last night!- first one after a long barren period, and the day I got the transfer form!! They had a lovely time. My husband and I are abolutely delighted. We are holding off on completeing the transfer form at the moment. I saw the headmaster yesterday and he talked with DD and said he would try to do some repair work with some of the girls who have been rejecting her over the last couple of years. We will monitor it on a weekly basis and see how things go. The emotional rollercoaster continues! Thanks for everyone's replies.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2015 7:51:20 GMT
It is heartbreaking when a child has no friends and doesn't seem to know how to go about making some. I'm surprised at your DD's school, that they have done nothing about this, surely they could do something? I'm sure DD isn't the only one. Could they not have a buddy scheme or pair off some of the shyer children, get them to work together, or give them some tasks to do together to promote friendships, there must be something they could do? Has you DD joined any clubs? Does she go to guides or any other activites with leaders to supervise and support friendships/working together, that might help her form friendships rather than having to do it all herself IYSWIM. Dance classes, art classes, drama class, that kind of thing where she would be part of a group activity with no pressure to make friends, but she might strike up a friendship with a similar soul. Hope the new friendship continues and if she does move school, I hope they have a buddy system for new kids with someone assigned to look after her and introduce her to others. it's tough  |
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