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Post by leo on Feb 10, 2015 21:10:03 GMT
Does anyone know of any recommendations of what should/shouldn't be included in a later life letter? Has anyone ever shared one with their child?
I have recently received a draft copy and am a bit confused about why some things are talked about in such detail (Grandparents and Great Grandparents) and why other things really aren't mentioned at all (realities of life with birth mother).
It's very hard to project forwards and think about things like what language they will understand; am really just looking for some pointers of things that people feel were helpful (and not!) to be included.
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Post by damson on Feb 11, 2015 7:03:01 GMT
Yes, we had carefully written ones, intended for age 13. they covered reasons why the parents and then wider family could not "keep" them. Then quite a bit of history / personality.
Both children had a letter. One read silently, put the letter away and did not discuss. The other had a special session with PASW, letter read aloud and interpreted. Lots of discussion for that child.
We have had regular contact with b family, and have told hfe story over & over across the years, but there was still an impact.
So, the actions of grand and great grandparents are relevant, as they so often are the backstop when parents fail.
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Post by damson on Feb 11, 2015 7:10:49 GMT
Realities of life with b parents were in both the life story and letter, but not interpreted so the young person really understood that this was neglect. It is misleading to say always clean and fed when both children have insecure attachments. Plainly something else was missing and that something should be spelled out. Neither child knows about attachment theory, so neither knows its how parent and baby relate that matters, not how clean the house was.
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Post by peartree on Feb 14, 2015 21:42:43 GMT
Ive read something about this
It should not be a reworking of the Cpr nor a list of excuses
It should be as factually accurate as possible
If the writer makes a guess then state that and what evidence the guess is based on
The reasons why the adoptive parents were thought to be a good match
How the birth parents appealed at court but we're convicted for drug offences
Where they went to prison and for what
Afterwards they were able to manage better now apart the domestic abuse stopped etc
It needs to be factual
The letter we had was littered with errors
The quality was poor
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