dinky
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Post by dinky on Dec 5, 2014 17:35:57 GMT
DS is being excluded for the next 2 weeks at lunchtimes  We have been waiting for some sort of exclusion as he is struggling massively this year. School have put loads of stuff in place for him but have come to realise they / he needs more expert help but are having difficulty getting the EP in (they keep cancelling). So drastic measures are needed to try and get someone to take some notice  DS has also had initial appt at CAMHS and we are waiting to hear about some sort of therapy for him (3 month wait at least). I am wondering if there is anybody else that I can contact that may help to push things along or whether we just have to grin and bear the wait for things to move along? Dinky  |
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Post by milly on Dec 5, 2014 19:38:11 GMT
Have you contacted post adoption? We got in touch with ours recently and things have definitely moved along here. Our sw went into school - we weren't at the initial meeting but are very pleased with recent developments at the school. (Dd had a five day exclusion but now they seem to get exactly what she needs at last - before we were getting the message it was her behaviour that was the problem)
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Post by serrakunda on Dec 6, 2014 10:22:04 GMT
Parent partnership ?
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Dec 9, 2014 17:52:12 GMT
Thank you for your replies I was thinking of trying both of them so will definitely give them a call. DS is loving coming home for lunch  Dinky  |
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Post by justbserene11 on Dec 15, 2014 12:36:55 GMT
What about contacting the virtual headteacher for your LA?
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Dec 16, 2014 13:37:17 GMT
Bserene11 - will have to give them a try too! Beginning to think that school may have been stringing me along as I have had a couple of conversations with HT and SENCO which would point to them thinking the exclusion will change his behaviour?  Last conversation today when they admitted that him loving coming home for lunch was not the reaction they had hoped for and that they think that it is a strange reaction - so I don't think they actually get him at all (whatever they keep saying!!). As I am feeling rather stressed with the situation as I can only fit in a couple of hours work each day and it is one of my busiest times and of course I only get paid for hours worked I did point out that things would go back to normal in Jan as he was only better at the moment as he is not spending break and lunchtimes surrounded by 200 other kids!! Feel better now having ranted a little? Thank you for listening. Dinky |
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Post by esty (archive) on Dec 17, 2014 23:20:33 GMT
Oh Dinky sounds a nightmare! Just the fact him wanting to be at home at lunchtime should highlight their failings to themselves! Or so you would think!
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Post by milly on Dec 18, 2014 7:09:23 GMT
That sounds really difficult - clearly not a sustainable solution. Where I work we have a fab TA who runs a lunchtime club for troubled children who find the playground tricky ie they play indoors under her supervision and she chats to them if there are any issues. Your ds's school could do similar if lunches / breaks are a problem. They need to do something as sending him home is not acceptable long term.
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Dec 18, 2014 16:45:35 GMT
HT collared me today and said can I think of what we need to do for his "reintegration" in January. So starting at the top we have the TA running a lunchtime club as they do at Milly's school (perfect world). 2nd would be that they find him a job to do once he has finished eating with maybe 10 minutes on the playground to use up a bit of his surplus energy and 3rd (which worked to some extent at his previous school) is for him to come in 10 minutes before the end of break and read a book in the library with a friend (the last 10 minutes or so is usually when the problems occur). Any other suggestions welcome! I am also going to really push them to get the EP in (if they haven't already sorted it) as he really needs help in all aspects of the social side of school and I think we have these crises and things get put into place for a while then they all relax until the next time (and there always is a next time? ) and we never seem to move forward with anything. Today was a bad day for him and he had a melt down this afternoon, running off and hiding under the coats in the corridor? . Why - because they went to church this morning followed by a surprise Santa visit this afternoon! Hey ho - only half a day to go now! ? Dinky |
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Dec 19, 2014 14:51:31 GMT
Well schools reintergration plan is for me to continue collecting him and taking him home for lunch? I pointed out that I can't do it and am awaiting someone from LEA to call me back to advise. Also had good helpful conversation with post adoption? Dinky |
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Post by pingu on Jan 31, 2015 21:28:04 GMT
Did you get a satisfactory solution , Dinky? Hope things are going ok for you these days.
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Feb 1, 2015 13:46:26 GMT
Hi Pingu, thanks for thinking of me. I wrote a letter to school to confirm that I was unable to agree to an informal arrangement to take him home for lunch and also reiterating that he is under CAMHS and nothing more has been said about it. However he is not allowed on the playground at morning break and only for 10 minutes at lunch plus he eats earlier than his classmates. School have now arranged for the Behaviour Support Team to work with him and hopefully the Ed Psych will be in this week (3rd time lucky!). DH and I have a meeting lined up with Post Adoption and the conversations that I had on the telephone with them gave me confidence that they (at the very least) want to support us to get DS the right support in school. The fight to get him the help and support he needs continues!!!! Dinky |
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Post by pingu on Feb 1, 2015 22:34:54 GMT
Good to hear some movement Dinky, hope it works out to a better solution than you have had recently. Maybe his unexpected reaction to lunchtime at home might make the school rethink their ideas about him.
I can appreciate the business of them wanting to be at home. Recently my ds2 managed to get a detention, it was not viewed too seriously by the school, he was not the instigator of the trouble, but was sticking up for a friend who was being bullied, it's rare for him to be in trouble but he weathered it better than I had hoped , a few years ago the toxic shame would have been nightmarish, but he took it in his stride..he is rather older than your boy though. However he did refuse to go to homework club which had recently been organised for him once a week. He was very unhappy about it as he wanted to be at home, and the detention was the last straw, he point blank refused to go to homework club as well. Fortunately when I wrote and told them, and commented that home was rather more important to him than the average kid, they did understand, and his teacher says she doesn't want him to add bad feelings against school, when he is obviously struggling with other things just now. We have jointly agreed he will sit at the dining table with tv off and make sure homework gets done, otherwise it's back to the club ! More than ever we are confirmed this is the right school for him.
Best Wishes, and hang in there, it will get better I am sure.
Pingu
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Mar 2, 2015 20:37:49 GMT
Update............. Well he is now excluded tomorrow  for "persistent low level misbehaviour"! They got the report from the Ed Pysch last week which reiterated the think younger mantra etc. and detailing all the support he has - except as of this week it has all been stopped! Oh and he has got a supply teacher! Debating whether to send him back on Wednesday or exclude them for "persistent lack of support and understanding" Dinky xx |
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Post by esty (archive) on Mar 2, 2015 22:46:25 GMT
Words fail me!
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Post by corkwing on Mar 3, 2015 6:16:44 GMT
A letter to the governors?
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Mar 3, 2015 9:57:29 GMT
Hi,
Corkwing - yes I can feel a letter coming on to the governors with copies to lots of other people!
Toko - Report didn't suggest any solutions but I think that is because 3 weeks ago school were doing a lot of the stuff that they would have recommended which had been put in place in between requesting the Ed Pysch come in and her actually coming in. Problem now is that they have stopped it all!!!!! He was getting:-
Meet and greet
ELSA time
Going to a younger class group with a teacher he really likes in the afternoons
The above has now been discontinued.
They also told the Ed Pysch that after the half term he was going to be getting support at break times and a personal timetable - not happening!
He has been given a "safe" person to go to if he needs to but he has to ask permission by using a card which is kept on the wall only just in his reach and unless the teacher really walks him through what they want him to do on a few occasions I can't see him actually doing it when in a state of panic and he will continue to run and hide!
I am really not surprised at the exclusion as for a start they have changed things at the same time as his teacher is off sick so he has got a supply teacher who he hasn't had before.
Really don't feel like sending him back tomorrow:(
Dinky xx
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Post by bagpuss72 on Mar 3, 2015 14:23:16 GMT
(Hugs) Dinky.How carp is that.No wonder so many of us have such low opinions of the education system in the UK.I would not want to send him back tomorrow for more of the same either x
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Post by milly on Mar 3, 2015 18:56:53 GMT
It's just awful the way schools don't seem to want to support children with needs. Where I work I think we're pretty good at it (though maybe there are parents who don't agree) but I keep hearing about schools that just don't seem to care.
As a teacher I have always thought it important for children to attend regularly but I'm beginning to change my mind.
If the school can't meet his needs and are just punishing him (or you) instead,maybe you should keep him off. Or even start looking for another school? They're all different.
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Mar 3, 2015 20:28:37 GMT
Thank you all for your support  DH and I have got a meeting tomorrow a.m. and are going armed with a list of questions for them to answer (along with my rather large file with all 6 years worth of IEP's etc). I will be taking notes and we are going to be very firm (nice understanding me and DH are just going to have to take a back seat!). If they can't reassure us that they understand his difficulties and have support in place we will not be leaving him there! Time to up our game I think (whilst trying our very best to stay calm and rational even though we don't feel like it ) Spoke to PASW today who came up with some good questions to ask and basically said don't let them bully us (or him). PASW is very on our side and is going to arrange a meeting with school and get his CAMHS worker to attend as well Will update tomorrow. Dinky xx |
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Post by esty (archive) on Mar 3, 2015 22:03:45 GMT
Good luck tomorrow. Go for it!!!!
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Post by corkwing on Mar 4, 2015 15:03:50 GMT
Hope it goes well!
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Mar 4, 2015 18:56:34 GMT
Well we live to fight another day Meeting was with Deputy HT as HT off sick which was a good start as I find them easier to get along with - not that that means we agree with each other! They do seem to have realised that changing the strategies and things that he does at the same time as having a supply teacher wasn't their best move. It also became obvious that the behavioural support team that he has seen a couple of times have made suggestions which they have put into place (without speaking to me about them!) which are at odds with the EP recommendations (all of which I agree with). So they are going to compare the two reports and look to see where they differ and hopefully query the differences (or...and one can always hope.......ask me what I think). Don't think the 3 key figures that deal with DS ever talk to each other or share information though! I think we have a clearer idea of what they are going to do and I think that they did take on board that they are too quick to stop using strategies as they think they don't work but as I pointed out he needs longer to get used to new things and settle into different ways of doing things - it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't working! We spoke of loads of stuff really and I did get a few things off my chest about the way they have acted / what they have said to him which really were out of order  I still don't think they really "get it" though but at least we are going in the right direction Also due to things that were mentioned today about specific incidents I have started wondering if DS is having a go at "splitting" which I think I need to look into before I can decide whether it is a possible or not. Can anyone give me any info on it or point me in the right direction? I sort of know what it is but not the why they do it. Dinky xx |
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Mar 9, 2015 13:50:38 GMT
Didn't last very long - excluded again  |
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We have been waiting for some sort of exclusion as he is struggling massively this year.
Last conversation today when they admitted that him loving coming home for lunch was not the reaction they had hoped for and that they think that it is a strange reaction - so I don't think they actually get him at all (whatever they keep saying!!). As I am feeling rather stressed with the situation as I can only fit in a couple of hours work each day and it is one of my busiest times and of course I only get paid for hours worked I did point out that things would go back to normal in Jan as he was only better at the moment as he is not spending break and lunchtimes surrounded by 200 other kids!!
for "persistent low level misbehaviour"!
