Home Education - The Practicalities ....

Hi Leo

I will try to answer where I can below:

- if your children were in school previously, what/how did you say you would be changing to home ed?
Do you mean to the school? Legally speaking? If you check the Education Otherwise website they have a template of a legal letter that you can copy and hand in to de-register. If you mean to others, parents etc, just that, we are home educating. You will find you need to answer countless questions over times from the curious "oh day off school today is it?" to the downright rude "why aren't you at school?" brigade.

- do you have a timetable for each day/week or is it more ad hoc? Do you have set 'break' times etc? Do you have set 'term times'?
Every single home edder I know does this differently. I know people who are hugely structured with a time-table, some use tutors for all subjects, right through to totally autonomous child lead learning. If the child wants to learn about something, it's down to the parents providing the tools and the child learning in their own way. There is also a lot in between. We fall in the semi-structured category. We fluctuate between getting down to maths and english EVERY day plus more, to spending our days doing exactly as we please. When my eldest was HE during his GCSE's we used tutors (I wasn't up to the job with a newly placed toddler). He saw tutors for each core subject he wanted to take. 1.5hrs 121 a week is equivalent to a weeks tuition in school per subject - and this is at GCSE level! Shocking how much time is lost in a class of 30. My 2 can pump out 5 6 work sheets in quick succession. No waiting around for them to be handed out, no lengthy explanations, no teacher having to sort out other student, no sitting with your hand up for help for 10 mins, no having to wait a week for it to be marked. It's all instant and quick and I suspect they get more done in an hour at home that they do in a day at school. We have worked through half-terms before, sometimes not, it's up to us and what our timetable for that time dictates. I know my 2 would far rather be out in the sun with friends than sat indoors doing maths because I had put it on a time-table. We can fit maths in another time, we can't always fit in the sunny days elsewhere. I have found that our workload fluctuates with the weather. In the colder months we are home more which means more academic work. In the summer we spend long glorious days outside with friends - my children get lovely tans

- how do you meet up with other home ed people - and do you find them accepting of your children's needs?
Home edders are by large accepting of difference, after all, they have chosen a way of life themselves very different from the norm. There are many quirky kids being HE'd. With parents about disputes and child squabbles are sorted quickly, this means non of that playground bullying. There will be core groups listed on Education Otherwise, but ask about as what I have found is that there must be about 15 different local ones to me. You are welcome to join each one as and when you see fit, no expects group loyalty

- how do you decide what to teach and when?
I personally teach English and Maths to my 2 and let their natural curiosity with something take the lead with the rest. We also can do lots of lovely work around celebrations and events - so recently we have covered Diwali and Guy Fawkes. Although according to my DSs dramatic picture of Guy Fawkes under the House of Lords, he was rather successful in blowing it all up

- do you pay for any tutoring or 'childcare' and if so, is this for a whole day at a time?
I don't pay for tutoring, but my 2 do a lot of activities. Regular ones I pay for are: Sailing, horse-riding, pottery, gymnastics & art. However, again everyone does this differently and there are many parents and single parents HEing who simply could not afford too many extra curricular activities. As mine get to secondary age I may well look at tutoring, although I would prefer to join a group of similar HE children for small group work in specific areas (these are available, if not, set one up). If you feel you will struggle without a break, pay for childcare! Why on earth not? I have found that some HEdders themselves work as registered childminders and they are perfect as will share your outlook on education, freedom and nurturing of the child.

- how do you manage the change of relationship/role between being mother and then being teacher?
It comes naturally. When our children are small we teach them all the time, its just at some point we hand this responsibility over to the school. I find I talk to my children more, I comment on things we see as we pass and they in turn are always full of questions. They learn so much just by being with you and you imparting your knowledge.

- how do you manage to have any time away from your children (to maintain your own sanity)? (I am single.)
I am lucky, my DH is very good at taking over at weekends, but I am rarely without a child 7 days a week! It's like a natural progression from toddler-dom, they just haven't gone to school so you are still as you were when they were a baby/toddler etc. This may be where childcare can help you? However, when you make friends at HE groups that is like a break really as the kids play together and you parents chat, drink coffee and eat cake (watch out, HE is fattening!)

- if you have 2 children with a trauma bond, do you work with them entirely separately?
We do work together and work apart. This has been a rule since day one, when one needs to read, the other goes AWAY. This has been harder than it sounds as although my middle DD is pretty average in most ways, my youngest is a rather tricky lad and will do anything to get attention, negative attention will do just fine. Over time he has got that he has to go, play his ipad, watch TV - whatever works to give the other some 121 time. The threat of extra maths works quite well too I don't think my 2 have a trauma bond as such as they arrived separately,but they are both very strong characters and can compete for my time quite a bit. They can move from best friends to all out war in the blink of an eye. We have moved on from books being torn to stop the other reading, but this stuff takes time and you will all be learning a new way of being together and your house rules will change - but over time. I treat it as a marathon not a sprint. I have YEARS to work on this stuff. I would say after the first year you will be amazed at not only how much your children have changed, but also you and your views on life in general.

- how do you manage to have quality 1:1 time with your children?
AS with above, bribery My elder one is also very able to spend time at a friends and quite likes me to 'go away' now as she is getting to that age where I am rather embarrassing However, when we de-registered her she was a scared and anxious little girl who couldn't be left anywhere. Being at home 24/7 has helped her grow and with her in particular, her attachment has flourished and she can now tell me something hurts and even have a cry when in pain. My DD being older, stays up later and usually gets up earlier too.

- do you have a separate room/place for learning or does your kitchen/lounge get over-run? And, if so, how do you demarcate work times from play or family times? Or do you not?
We have recently moved so now do have a school room. Although most frequently the kids still sit at the dinning table to work. Having a separate room is more helpful in terms of storing all those books and art materials, but it certainly isn't essential. I find my kids gravitate to where they feel comfortable. DD is often on the stairs or in the garden (on a nice day), working on her ipad or reading. DS, wherever he is, is standing. He stands and moves all the time, mealtimes too. This would have gone down very well at school I know

A typical day: Today, DD woke at 8am. She came in my bed for a cuddle and a chat. DS woke at 8.30am. We had our breakfast and left for an early cinema showing, free for schools at the moment. No rushing out of the house, no rude awakenings when a child doesn't want to get up. We've been home for lunch & DD has made a little film. In a minute we are off to spend the afternoon at a local HE group. They are doing fireworks themed art and crafts, plus have games etc. It's somewhere to meet friends, hang out and eat biscuits. My son can struggle if anywhere becomes too chaotic or noisy (his idea of noisy btw the way, not others). If he gets overwhelmed, we will simply say our goodbyes and come home. I know my DS will be tired after the hall meet (he is ASD so socialising can take it out of him) so we will probably just watch something like Horrible Histories (my 2 LOVE horrible histories) and then they both write a diary before bed (English).

So a quiet day workwise for us, yesterday we did more as we were home waiting for a delivery. We also managed to squeeze in art and some cake in a cafe. Ooops.

Hi Leo,

like you as yet not fully decided. for what its worth I am not too worried about rigid timetables just want them at 5 and 4 to be able to learn to read and understand a bit about numbers.

..if I were you I would be worrying most about how you get time out...it's really important to get a few hours away... you have a really challenging task..two children and you are one. Do you have a family member or friend that can commit to one day or afternoon per week to look after the boys to give you a break?

Hugs. Mudlark

Also something else which is great about home ed. Children can really get stuck in to something and spend hours, days or weeks focussing on something they are interested in. Its very interesting to watch. 
I have told this story a lot but at one point we had the 'Blue Peter curriculum' Violet would watch it on iPlayer but mainly she was interested in collecting the books which we would look for in charity shops. Then DH bought her the remaining books she needed to complete the set on ebay for Christmas. That was VERY educational. Not just the content but they were primary historical sources and her Dad and I reminisced about our childhoods. Recipes that said 'put in a cool place to set' because not everyone would have had a fridge.....I remember getting a fridge! 

Lastly I am often aware that things I chalk up to 'education' other children might be doing on top of school. Drama, swimming lessons, piano lessons, and the example I just gave. Any child could do that. Its just that home edders have more TIME. Its not a big rush to have dinner and get off to drama, the piano lessons and swimming are during the day so we can be at home most early evenings.

Enough from me!

I home educate one primary aged child (we tried school for a few years).

- if your children were in school previously, what/how did you say you would be changing to home ed?

I read what it said on home ed facebook groups and websites. I wrote letter using the format suggested on internet. education elsewhere as per law X etc. I warned his school before handing the letter in on the last day of term as they did try to help. 

- do you have a timetable for each day/week or is it more ad hoc? Do you have set 'break' times etc? Do you have set 'term times'?
Sort of.... Most home edders where I live are very autonomous child led so I would consider myself extremely structured compared to them. But in other ways we are quite relaxed. We do various activities home ed ones and just ordinary stuff like music lesson, swimming lesson. The week is structured around these events (for example: today I made it very clear he was working this afternoon and it was done or the fun afternoon out tomorrow would not be happening). I try to do a bit of work during hols but mostly we work with school terms as term time we see home ed friends hols we see kids that go to school. 

- how do you meet up with other home ed people - and do you find them accepting of your children's needs?
You find the websites or facebook groups for your area and choose the events, meetups or classes that suit you. We do an academic class and a general meetup most weeks. Home edders are relatively accepting.

- how do you decide what to teach and when?
I am based on the national curriculum (In case my son wants to go back to school a some point). I used the App levels to determine where he is and how he is progressing. However..... I use whatever method I think will get my son working. We do a lot of history because he really likes history (he forgets that his literacy is coming on nicely due to this). I use work books for convenience for some maths stuff as well as online resources. I try to tie work to his interests generally.
  
- do you pay for any tutoring or 'childcare' and if so, is this for a whole day at a time?
We go to a Home ed academic class I pay for that each week (I stay with him for that). I could do the text book with him but I prefer he gets a teacher and a bit of classroom experience. 

- how do you manage the change of relationship/role between being mother and then being teacher?
hmmm not sure. We are on our second year and life is better this year (I think that is because he is growing up a bit though). I did a few more academic things to test him with before we started to home ed. My boy seems to work better for me than he did for school teachers.  

- how do you manage to have any time away from your children (to maintain your own sanity)? (I am single.)
I have a few hours one morning a week where my parents look after him. Sanity? That went the day he moved in.....  My house is not as clean and tidy as when he was a school though.

- if you have 2 children with a trauma bond, do you work with them entirely separately?
N.A.

- how do you manage to have quality 1:1 time with your children?
N.A.

- do you have a separate room/place for learning or does your kitchen/lounge get over-run? And, if so, how do you demarcate work times from play or family times? Or do you not?
When works done you can play! We use the dining room to work at, research with the laptop in bed with toast is nice sometimes as well.  

Badwolf 

With DS it was easy, he didn't want to go back (he was pre-school age too). So I begun researching it all & meeting up with people for a good 6mths with him. Finding people and groups that we 'fitted with' (quiet supportive SEN ones for us). When it got to Sept and I told DD that DS wasn't going to start school she told me she didn't want to go back either. She sat down sadly and refused to put on her school uniform. She's my compliant one, so this was a BIG statement of hers. I listened.

We agreed that she would go in for the first week interspersed with a few days when she was terribly unwell (to be fair she was distressed and stressed about the return to school and her mood had already shifted a good 2 weeks in the run up to new school year). We went to HE meetups. There are a few 'not going back to school' picnics on the go very September and they are always fun and a celebration She spent some sunny days running around with the HE kids and I said something like "this is home education, is this really what you want?". Of course, she did. I sent in my de-reg letter on the Thurs eve and she never went back. DD has kept in touch with her best school friends plus has HE friends too. She tells me she never ever wants to go back to school, but will consider university I guess the 'actual' ending of school is dependent on the child, do they want to say goodbye? Do they actually have anyone they need to say goodbye too? If they struggle with friends and have no connection with anyone is this necessary? My 2 loved driving past school of a morning on their way out to meet friends, horse ride etc and say "what will they be doing now?".."oh, sitting down and doing work".

There are LOADS of single home educators. I can't say how they manage day to day, financially or with time to themselves, but I know they do. I did have a long conversation with a couple of HE friends only yesterday about how DWP deal with them being on benefits BUT unavailable to work due to HEing (both single parents of SEN kids) and it works out for them.

How did I manage the end of schooling for my children? Celebrating and a massive massive sigh of relief PLUS the odd heart palpitation for a week or so when I realised what I had done! It's a big decision, if you don't question yourself and have fears you aren't normal

I will look into the groups some more & pm what I find. It feels so long ago that I did it and I found it to be one of those things that was hard to start but once the ball got rolling it took on a life of it's own and all sorts of exciting stuff started opening up.

My son left at the end of the school year. I kept him out of school on the moving up morning day. He had moved schools a one point and it was probably easier for him than that was.

Not single, I happily hand the beast over to his dad the minute he gets home from work some days!