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Post by caledonia on Oct 26, 2014 12:10:35 GMT
hi
DD started secondary school in August and has deteriorated beyond belief over the last few months. She has been on holiday for the last two weeks and for the last few days there have been signs of her old self. At her drama class yesterday they commented on how relaxed she was and how much fun she had been. I had a long chat with her and she told me that she doesn't feel safe at school and that there are too many people at her school and she can't cope with such a big school (there are only 600 pupils at this school as compared to the 1200 at her brothers secondary school). She wants to be home educated but this is not possible because I work and have to as a single parent.
There is a Steiner School about 12 miles from us that she may be able to go to, fee dependant but I don't know much about these schools and wondered if any of you had had any experience with them and could share your views.
There is so much going on with her at the moment that its hard to pin point the main issue but I sm trying to look at her issues holistically and would appreciate any advice you could give.
Thanks
Cale
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Post by doubletrouble on Oct 26, 2014 22:48:14 GMT
Have P.M.ed you.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2014 8:44:07 GMT
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Post by runmum on Oct 27, 2014 9:06:31 GMT
We have one near us and investigated it and even visited. In the end we were not sure. The fees are very affordable compared to other private schools but they did not seem keen on sports more arts and crafts and drama and DS is very very active and sensory seeking and sporty. Also we were not sure how he would cope with the lack of structure which is a consequence of the open fluid ethos. However if anyone has personal experience we would be interested as DS aged 8 is flatlining in terms of attainment at our local state school and although is EP report says he has average intelligence school say even with an EHC plan he will still make very little progress because of his barriers to learning which we find defeatest hence we are exploring all options.
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Post by caledonia on Oct 27, 2014 9:43:03 GMT
Thanks for your replies.
I know what you mean re lack of structure Runmum - that does bother me too and DD is so lazy that not being pushed to learn may give her the opt out she wants!
Will see how things go.
Kind regards
Cale
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Oct 28, 2014 9:14:49 GMT
I looked at our relatively nearby one when I was looking to move the girls. It was lovely, but definitely wouldn't suit my girls. The children all seemed to be quite self motivating, and quiet, neither of my girls are either of those things. Also, our local one only went up to 13, - seems like a terrible time to have to integrate into a mainstream secondary school, lthough I know some of the larger ones do cover secondary.
Really lovely environment though - think I would've loved it!
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Post by pingu on Oct 30, 2014 15:47:10 GMT
I wonder if there are any ordinary private schools, small but with a decent bursary scheme ( which they have to offer to keep their charitable status) I applied to our local private school mainly because I did not feel ds2 would cope at the huge local secondary.and he needed the smaller classes and stronger support, to thrive and develop socially! But one of his side issues is laziness, he tends to live up to whatever expectations the school has, and while his big brothers school are very good for reasonably motivated kids, the general attitude is quite payed back . Private schools on the other hand frequently have strong structure and expect pupils to work hard and the classes are small enough to ensure their difficulties are addressed so they can do so. The one My boy is at also emphasises development of the whole child and encourages sports, outdoor stuff art and music, and gets the kids helping at things like open days, etc.
Might be worth a visit or a look at different prospectuses. You might find one that suits your girl.
Best Wishes
Pingu
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Post by pingu on Oct 30, 2014 15:58:13 GMT
Also, the smaller classes with an emphasis on being welcoming and friendly, and no bullying, have gone a long way to help him feel save ( and hence thriving)
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Post by doubletrouble on Oct 31, 2014 0:04:38 GMT
We did the same with our two Pingu. They are in the 4th year of their small private prep. school and it is just as you describe. Small classes, no bullying, structure and more traditional ways of teaching - quite class rooms. pupils all learning together, not wandering around the room. all facing the teacher. We received a considerable bursary from the school and have also been successful in topping it up with educational trust contributions so don't pay anything.
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Post by pingu on Oct 31, 2014 19:14:18 GMT
We have been trying to top up the bursary with no success at finding a trust fund that he qualified for. Any chance you could tell me who you applied to, doubletrouble? we aren't yet assured that we will be able to keep him there unless the school agree to up the bursary next year, as we lose the fostering allowance at the end of this year, now that he is adopted, and we won't get any adoption allowance.for him, sw say he has to be special needs for that. Pm me if you want. Thanks
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Post by runmum on Nov 1, 2014 10:58:53 GMT
So are your kids in these private schools academically strong with good executive functioning. Our local private schools will not countenance taking kids of average intelligence who might need more attention and who might need support to maintain control if provoked. You have to do tests to get in and be interviewed about "what you're reading at the moment" etc - aged 8! Our kids hate reading and everything else academic, because they find it such a struggle - we just assumed they would not get in and even if they did they would be surrounded by high achievers and feel rubbish about themselves. Just interested as might need to move DS number 2 as he is flatlining attainment wise.
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Post by doubletrouble on Nov 1, 2014 12:33:37 GMT
The school didn't ask any of the academic questions that you suggest runmum. I think it is different for prep. schools they are only going till they are 13yr old. It's then that they have to sit common entrance or specific school entrance exams. We got in because I used the 'charity card' the idea that they are helping children from extremely deprived backgrounds really appealed. Also the fact that our children were being bullied at their old school, it hadn't been resolved and the old school had no real idea how to help them in loads of areas.
I don't know of any prep. school who are overly academic around here even the top senior schools, I'm sure our two could get into if we wanted them too as the prep. school prepare them so well for the exams that nobody fails! We don't have any learning disabilities with our children and DD was tested as having an I.Q. of 110 so O.K. in that respect but she is Autistic and has ADHD and sensory problems so they have had to adapt their teaching around her. It is very common here for quite a few children to have a scribe in exams as our DD gets even though she isn't dyslexic ( quite a few are tho) DS also has ADHD and quite a few quirky behaviours so he is now having a reader to do exams and extra time to complete papers as he has trouble understanding the questions.
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Post by pingu on Nov 1, 2014 17:09:27 GMT
Our ds2 is at 4-18 co- ed school, and got accepted following a morning with his prospective class being assessed ( including maths and English papers) however I think it also helped that he is well behaved at school and fits in well socially with the others there. Not sure about his executive functioning, he is good at remembering facts in class but hopeless about organising himself for school. It's getting better though now school are on his tail too !!!
But we also get a bursary for him from the scheme they have to run to keep their charity status.( excuse the cynicism)
It's only partial though, and to keep him there next year we need extra funding. Looked at Athole Trust but they only help kids with things like adhd autism / aspergers etc as they get a lot of requests on their purse. Ds2 is very fragile emotionally , but manages to hold together there, till he gets home if he gets upset. He just wouldn't thrive so well if under the stress of big classes, massive school and bullies around. But none of that counts as special needs..
His school does have a support teacher for things like dyslexia etc,and the school has a good reputation for improving self confidence and helping kids catch up academically with peers., several local adopters have sent their average intelligence kids there for that reason, and reasons similar to mine. Ds2 felt rubbish at Maths and that " everyone else was better than him" but the teacher reassured him somehow and he is now getting on much better. His old school just didn't have the time to spend bringing him up to speed. I suspect some private schools are better than others for their willingness to accept different issues and their pastoral support. If you think your child would benefit from a school move it might be worth visiting for a feel for your local ones.
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Post by ham on Nov 1, 2014 17:37:42 GMT
some adopters have had help from the butle trust for school fees .worth a look
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Post by pingu on Nov 1, 2014 17:58:38 GMT
I will give them a try, thanks, they do mention emotional needs, and his pas worker did say ds2 would never cope with our local secondary, if I could get that in writing.......
Pingu
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Post by pingu on Nov 1, 2014 18:01:32 GMT
Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread Caledonia, hope you get clarification on the Steiner school, or other school options and find one improves things for your daughter
Best wishes
Pingu
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Post by caledonia on Nov 4, 2014 11:46:20 GMT
thanks All Sadly there are no small private schools where we live, only one very large one. She and some of her class mates went to an event at this school and her friend slipped on wet grass during a race (it was crashing down with rain and had been for two hours), fell and broke her leg. The school were totally uninterested in helping the child and said her leg was not broken event though you could see the bone pushing through the skin  . When DD asked the lady running the event why it had not been cancelled due to the rain as her school sports day have been cancelled when there was less rain, the lady said that they didn't let the weather stop them from doing things. DD looked somewhat horrified and asked if she had done a risk assessment! Her school had said they had done a risk assessment before making the decision to cancel sports day  . I am not sure therefore that DD would be welcome there anyway!  I had a good meeting with the school last week and they seem to understand a bit more about DD and her issues and need to feel safe and have identified safe places she can go to. She is spending most breaks and lunchtimes there with a few friends and this seems to have settled her a bit although she still begs not to go to school every morning but is less persistent about it. We are monitoring her progress over the next month and will have another meeting to discuss how the measures are going and if there is anything else they can do to support her so hopefully there will be no need to move her. Cale x |
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. When DD asked the lady running the event why it had not been cancelled due to the rain as her school sports day have been cancelled when there was less rain, the lady said that they didn't let the weather stop them from doing things. DD looked somewhat horrified and asked if she had done a risk assessment! Her school had said they had done a risk assessment before making the decision to cancel sports day 
. I am not sure therefore that DD would be welcome there anyway! 