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Post by swimchic on Oct 20, 2014 19:45:12 GMT
Hello all,
I wanted to thank you all for your replies in my previous thread about Pink constantly talking and fiddling.
Tonight Dh and I had a light bulb moment. Pinks behaviour for the past two weeks has been dreadful, really draining and everything at home was very stressful.
But then we realised, she had been getting certain coloured cards ( one was a thinking card, one was a blue card when she lost some playtime at the end of the day). Her behaviour was clearly a repercussion of the discipline at school. She was anxious, angry, upset and her behaviour reflected it.
Today she came home and told me that she didn't have any cards at school today, we went to the park, did Hama beads and even played hairdressers! She was back to herself again, a complete delight.
Its parents evening this week, so we will be having a chat with her Teacher and explaining it all to her.
Swimchic |
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Post by larsti on Oct 20, 2014 20:23:07 GMT
Poor pink  Glad she is back to her normal self and hope the teacher listens to you. |
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Post by mudlark on Oct 20, 2014 20:39:33 GMT
Hi Swimchic
Just to empathise. Both Lapwing and Peewit also have the coloured card system for dealing with what the school see as 'naughty' behaviour. They struggle to understand it and also have been very stressed and anxious , really since term began. We talked at length to the teacher and SENCO about this and other issues...sadly although they tried to listen, they didn't hear what we were telling them. I hope you have better luck with Pink's teacher. It really is disheartening when what is happening at school has such a negative impact on what happens at home and how the LO's are feeling.
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Post by daffin on Oct 20, 2014 21:36:20 GMT
Light bulb moments are wonderful, aren't they!
Monkey Boy's school don't have a cards system. They have 'The Cloud' and children are threatened with having their name put on the cloud if they misbehave.
We had lots of problems at home following MB just being threatened with the cloud.
Words have been had.
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Post by annie70 on Oct 20, 2014 21:45:04 GMT
Zippy's school have a similar system to the cloud... if you misbehave you move your name to a 1, then if you do it again / do something else, you move it to a 2 ... then if a third thing happens you get a consequence - which is having to go to the head on a friday break when everyone else gets a treat! Zippy has had one consequence which was instant - no 1 or 2 as it was so serious - he was inconsolable when I picked him up that day He now tells me every day 'I haven't had to move my name once'... I think it's selective memory as if his teacher overhears she quite often corrects him!!! Joking aside though, the guilt they feel when they have to move their name / get a card etc is massive - far greater than a non-adopted child. The fear of being rejected by the adults they trust is huge. It works okay for Zippy but only because he is able to self-regulate and being accepted is the most important thing to him... I can imagine that, for other children, it's a lose/lose situation |
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Post by swimchic on Oct 22, 2014 20:32:39 GMT
Very true Tokoloshe..
Well tonight we had parents evening. The school are going to start 1-1 support for her. They are concerned about her confidence in class and feel that's stopping her progressing. She has settled in well, has friends and is doing well with the talk boost programme.
Her Teacher is clearly very fond of Pink and said that was a lovely little girl.
I just want to help my little girl, she has so much potential, I just don't know where to start.. :-(
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Post by mudlark on Oct 22, 2014 21:02:14 GMT
Is it a THRIVE school? If so has she had a thrive assessment - although having now done one for Lapwing I am not at all impressed, but better than nothing I suppose?
1-1 support sounds promising how are they going to achieve that? I am interested as Lapwing would benefit from such but unless she has a statement she would never get one to one support at her current school.
Lapwings main problems are confidence and general inability to regulate in class. At home she finds it easier to concentrate. I know you have gone back to work, but do you have any time to allow her to do a half day at home with you for some flexible home learning?
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Post by moo on Oct 24, 2014 5:06:25 GMT
Ooohhh poor pink.....
This seems to be schools all over.... I still am baffled that these so called profs seem oblivious to the character changes that their actions provoke.... The transformation is always huge.... Why oh why don't they notice!?!?
1on1 sounds a brilliant result for pink..... Good Luck....
xx. moo. Xx
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Glad she is back to her normal self and hope the teacher listens to you.
