How do you sign off letterbox?

or you could just sign it with your initials
e.g. best wishes from L and B (or whatevr your initials are)
we met bm of only child we have lettebox with,and she knew our first names (not our surname) so we just signed ourfirst names and put dear (her first name) at the beginning
if i ever had to write to other childs family, where there is a safety risk, i would just finish with best wishes and not sign it, after all they know its come from him new parents!

I used our first names as BM knew them, but if not I would just sign off best wishes and leave it at that.
I think signing it as X's adoptive parents is a bit of an insensitive thing to do as it's effectively saying - your not his/her parent now.

Having said that i would insist that they do not sign as Mum and Dad and would keep sending back any letters or cards with that on them until they got the message. It's up to the LB co-ordinator to get through to the BP's that that is not acceptable. Just my opinion.

In regards to signing off as 'best wishes from the adoptive parents' we were advised to do this by Poppets SW. Personally, if I was to sign off 'best wishes from Poppets mum and dad' (as ultimately I wanted to) I think that this is insensitive, and that is why I asked for some advice. 

Thank you for some great ideas. I think using initials (made up or not) is the best way forward.

Lovelybee, definitely send those replies back that sign off 'from mum and dad'!   

For some years I wrote "x's adoptive parents" but more recently changed it to "x's mum and dad" because that's what we are to our dds. There's no security risk as such in using our first names but I felt it was best to withold info that we didn't have to give.

However to one person we did give first names eventually as we had to write over a very sensitive matter and it seemed hard hearted to write "x's mum and dad". This person isn't in touch with the rest of the birth family as far as we know, but even if they were /are, we have common first names so not that easy to trace.

Think it very much depends on your relationship with the BP's and the reasons your child came into care.

I had a good relationship with my DD's BM. There was no neglect or abuse, she was just a vulnerable lady with mental health issues who couldn't look after herself let alone a child. I think that makes a huge difference IMO.

If either of my children had been abused or neglected by BF I would have refused to do any LB at all. If a child is removed under those circumstances why should new parents be expected to put all that aside and write to their childrens abusers, no way would I agree to that.

I sign ours with my first name and BM always refers to me as my DD's Mum, so I would never want to hurt her as she respects my position as their mother.

She does however, sign her cards, "first name, your natural mother" which is a phrase I hate as it makes adoption sound un-natural, but as she always refers to me as their Mum I let that one go. (prefer the term birth mother).

Equally, being an adoptee, I hate when people refer to my parents as my "adoptive parents", I hate that! They are my parents plain and simple. I have birth parents, and Mum and Dad, the people who brought me up since i was 3 weeks old, the ones who were there for me through good times and bad and if I ever do meet my BP's in my lifetime I would call them by their first names. I only have one Mum and Dad.

Like jmk, the birth parents of my two are supportive of the adoption and refer to me as their Mum and to my family as their family. They refer to themselves by their names. I address the letter to them as their first names and sign off the contact letter from 'my name', 'ds's name' and dd's name' as they know my first name but nothing more.

I too would find it odd to use adoptive parent, I think x's mum is better. you might feel uncomfortable about this, but what about writing the letter from poppet's perspective and signing her name at the bottom? This was it might seem more personal to her birth family and gets round how to sign the letter? Might make it more difficult to know what to call them I guess?

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Cale
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