Quick question for parents with school aged children...

I think we have to make our children resiliant despite trauma. My child had absolute traumatising hospital treatments before adoption, there were good reasons for him to loose it by the first sight of a white coat. Yet I have been strict in a no nonsense way to break this cycle, there was no choice either he has a medical condition what needs painfull treatment at times. And as everything is now done in such way that there is no unnessesary pain I was of the opinion that he needed to realise that, and starting creaming when the Dr. only looked at him was counterproductive.

I spoke with him when crying was allowed, by sadness and real pain, that an investigation is no reason to cry, it just needs to be done or you like it or not. I made rules before we entered the hospital, I told him to stop or took him out to speak to him when he was about to loose it.

I worked with stories so he knows what is coming, how he has to behave, how other children behave with the same condition etc. After hospital we go and have a drink somewhere, I never say that is because you 'were good, or did not cry', I want him to experience something nice after I knew it was difficult fot him, I do not want to give him controle over what happens afterwards, if he cries unnessesary we talk about it, and how he should have behaved, we still have a drink.

He has diagnosed ptsd, I see those non painfull examinations as fantastic opportunities to practise and desensatise traumatised children. Let's be fair most doctors and nurses are very child friendly in those days. And their trauma's are not going to go away over night, so some behaviour work might needs to be done. Put a good experience in the place of the bad ones, than children learn, it does not always have to be bad.

The other thing is that it is less painfull when children co-operate, there might be a situation where a child ends up in hospital or needs medical treatment despite of fear, deeply rooted experiences. It would be less traumatising for them if they no longer have fear for medical personal.

So I would say reach out to every practise opportunity, my child is now so good that he allowes iv needles without numming cream first, and without crying. To focus his attention I tell him to blow against a little feather and see or he can blow so hard that it flies away. (I let the feather fly at the moment the needle is in).

Make those non invasive school medical appointments into fantastic positive experiences I would say. If your child has huge issues it would be nice to know beforehand as it is better when you are there. But than you need to make the school aware that you want to be present by every medical intervention. If there are no issues than just let the school get on with it.