|
|
Post by justbserene11 on May 28, 2014 19:09:09 GMT
Hi,
I wondered if anyone knew of any books that help build self esteem in girls/toddlers/adopted children?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 29, 2014 8:39:17 GMT
There is one called Ruby and the rubbish bin, or something like that.
I bought it when my DD's were young but to be honest I didn't like it much. Ruby had a weird face and looked really odd.
Others have said they liked the book though, so maybe it was just me. DD'd never read it, so it didn't help us at all.
|
|
|
|
Post by justbserene11 on May 29, 2014 11:34:29 GMT
Thanks for that, I will have a look?
|
|
|
|
Post by pingu on May 29, 2014 15:21:12 GMT
You are special by Max Lucado,
I am special by. Peter Vermeulen( introducing children and young people to their autistic spectrum disorder)
Google self esteem in children and follow link to Pinterest for a number of different books
The Secret Garden
Tracy Beaker ( yes really)
Just spending time reading as much as you can to your kids. I am convinced that , not only do they learn from the books, but they feel your desire to spend time with them, and hence acquire more self esteem!
|
|
|
|
Post by chotimonkey on May 29, 2014 16:12:32 GMT
It's not a book, but I just read an article about positive self image and how you encourage it in toddlers and it said that when we discipline we separate out the behaviour as wrong so children understand we love them but don't like the behaviour, eg I love you. Much but we don't like hair pulling in this house.... But this neutral language has carried over into the way we praise and we tend to say things like
That's a beautiful painting instead of wow you are really creative
Or passing that toy to Johnny was a kind thing to do instead of what a kind girl you are, that was so nice
So children aren't internalising the view of thenselves as good/ smart/ capable/ creative they are learning about appropriate behaviour, but not necessarily their own self as valuable and 'good' for want of a better word... I don't mean well behaved, I mean valuable
|
|
|
|
Post by justbserene11 on May 29, 2014 19:07:13 GMT
Pingu, I'll look at the titles you suggested. I agree with your comment about books I think it does build self esteem, language etc but also their imagination. Poppet loves books and loves me reading to her; sometimes when I am upstairs pottering I often here her reading to herself (her memory is so good).
Choti, I think you are right too. I know exactly what mean and do (most of the time) use language in the way you described about passing toys etc.
Thank you both so much
|
|
|
|
Post by pingu on May 30, 2014 8:12:05 GMT
Interesting what you say chotimonkey, about separating behaviour from the knowledge that we love them, and they are special /valuable whatever they do/are like. I totally agree and we do that here, , however I also think it is worth emphasising the positive traits as well as the positive behaviour, to counter the feeling of badness that some kids with lack of self esteem have. when I heard Louise Fordham(Bomber) speak on this issue, she said that if a child said they were bad, she would reply along the lines of acknowledging how they feel, but balancing it, e.g. I am sorry you feel like that , we all have a bit of us like that, but I also saw you do x that shows you have a kind bit, or a creative bit or whatever. We all have a bad bit but we have lots of other good bits as well, (like a pizza).it struck home as I have been guilty of brushing my sons feelings aside when he says he is bad in that way that indicates he is associating his misbehaviour with his whole being. I want to turn that around bit need to acknowledge that I am listening to how he feels. Louise has given me the words to say, to do that, but also to move him on from there...
|
|
squeak
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 73 
|
Post by squeak on May 30, 2014 8:24:32 GMT
We like 'I love you little monkey' - talks explicitly about not liking behaviour but always loving, and that grown ups get it wrong too...not exactly self-esteem, but does relate to the behaviour thread above.
|
|
