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Post by swimchic on May 12, 2014 19:53:47 GMT
Hello all
I'm looking for some thoughts and advice...
Pink is 4, 5 end of July and has been doing full time school since January. She is very happy there, is doing well and has settled in well. Before she came home she attended pre school twice a week for 2 full days. I have always thought that (A) there is a HUGE lack of understanding about adopted children in her school and (B) a huge expectancy for her to deal with by the teachers
This weekend she had the following homework..Two worksheets. One she had to cut out some shapes, colour them in and do a repeat pattern on the worksheet which was a butterflies wing. The other worksheet she had to write the letter P numerous times and at the end write the sentence Peter Piper picked a pickled pepper freehand.Then she had 7 words to learn for a spelling test which apparently is on Wednesday.
We haven't been given any details about the spelling test and to expect a 4 year old to spell, remember and write, I think is far too much! I questioned this with her Teacher (who is also the Head) and her attitude was " well you got a letter before half term"...Erm, no we didn't!
HOw do I tell the Teacher that (A) I think its too much (B) That there communication is rubbish and (c) I'm not happy!!
Its a tiny village school and they keep getting it wrong!!
Swimchic
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Post by leo on May 12, 2014 20:32:19 GMT
Sadly, homework seems to be an ever growing phenomenom! Partly fed by Government and the curriculum, partly by parents themselves. So sad.
Personally, I refuse to do homework with my children. We read whenever we can and have just started to do some spelling practise most nights - but attachment and nurture comes first in my mind so they take priority over any school work.
I think maybe going to see the class teacher and explaining that as Pink is still in the infancy of her life with you, it is important that you focus on her needs when she comes home from school - and that what Pink needs when she comes home is nurture, calmness and the full attention of her Mummy without any other distractions. Maybe say that this will hopefully give her the emotional stability and sense of self that will then mean she will be able to access more of 'school life' in the future.
It is sadly true that most schools do not have a clue about the needs of adopted children - and yet these needs are echoed by many other pupils in school also - and it is a case of 'prodding them' repeatedly in the hope they begin to move forward in their thinking about our children.
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Post by kstar on May 12, 2014 21:38:33 GMT
Starlet gets a ridiculous amount of homework IMO. She is in year 2 but it's no more than she got in year 1. We are expected to get through at least 3 reading books a week, preferably 5 (her books are now on average 32-40 pages long). She has 10-20 spellings every week. Then Maths, English, reading and topic homework. I would say the expectation is around 4 hours over week.
I didn't hold back with school. I told them it wasn't reasonable to expect that from her and that bonding, getting to know family/friends, dealing with emotional trauma, coping with SW visits etc was more than enough for her to be doing on top of full time school. I was very polite (did it all in writing so I could consider what to say) because on the whole the school is really supportive and everyone has been very kind and patient. I sent copies to the class teacher and headteacher and got handwritten replies back from both, saying they totally understood and had suspected as much but were worried about singling her out by telling her she didn't need to do it. Since then we have picked and chosen as we've gone along - this was the first week in ages that we've even attempted any!
My compromise was that in school holidays we do some catch up work.
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Post by pingu on May 13, 2014 7:25:56 GMT
Gosh kstar, that does sound like an awful lot of homework at 7, more like what my 10 yr old gets.( with more spelling but less reading)
Swimchic, is your daughter finding the level of homework a struggle? I think that is the key. If she is happy working at general class level I would leave it ( helping with the homework is a good bonding time for us, I sit beside my younger boy and encourage him along as he does it, and help iif he is stuck, and he enjoys the attention) but if it's stressing her out I would write and say she is not coping with that level of homework and why. We had to do so for older boy who found writing hard because of his dyspraxia. the school replied that they understood and would scale back the homework a bit. They did, but he is suffering now as he had missed a lot prior to coming into care, so had a lot to catch up on, and the gaps in his basic English and maths are showing now he is at the external exam stage. But your daughter is much younger and not missing school so there is time to catch up later. Anyway, a village school will have children of all abilities so I sure she won't be the only one not doing this level of homework, even if they don't let on!
But I would be asking to see a copy of this letter they apparently sent out before I said anything.
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Post by swimchic on May 13, 2014 7:32:34 GMT
Thanks all.
I have asked for the letter already. Fortunately, another Mum whose child is in Pinks class backed me up about the letter. So hopefully that will help.
I'm going to talk to one of the parent governors this morning hopefully and go from there.
Pink is finding the work a real mixture, but she is immature and I want to be emotionally happy first.
I'll keep you posted!
Swimchic
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Post by pingu on May 13, 2014 8:25:30 GMT
Will look forward to hearing how you get on. Swimchic,
Best wishes
Pingu.
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Post by sivier on May 13, 2014 10:29:51 GMT
Gosh, swimchic - that seems a lot of 'homework' for a not yet 5 year old.
My AD is in Reception. The teacher encourages us to help the children with writing and spelling at home, but there's been no set 'homework' so far. They have, after two full terms, now just started to send her home with a little spelling book with a few three-letter words to practice but there is no sense that this is compulsory. They don't have 'tests' on spelling in the class but I think they go over the list together as a small group exercise. The sentence that Pink has to write freehand does seem quite tricky especially as the sense may not be very clear to her!
Agree with Pingu that if it's stressing her, to see if they can wind it back a bit - absolutely it is the priority for her to feel emotionally happy and settled there first. Perhaps you could go in with a compromise and suggest a level of 'homework' (or fun learning things to do at home with mummy!) that you think Pink would find more manageable.
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Post by swimchic on May 13, 2014 13:41:44 GMT
Thanks all,
Your replies have really reassured me and given me lots of food for thought.
I had a chat with one of the parents today about the amount of homework. Said parent has one child who has been through the school and one in the nursery, so knows it well. They are also a parent governor. She gave me some good advice, so I've taken it on board and will talk to husband about it this evening.
The parent did say that they too thought that the Head Teacher (who is about to retire) is on countdown, which my Hubby suggested last night. Fortunately, Pink has a good Teacher in September who I feel will really find her potential and have a good balance with everything..
Thanks again, will keep you posted.
Swimchic
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Post by donatella on May 13, 2014 18:46:30 GMT
Ultimately whilst they may have an obligation to set homework you're under no obligation to do it. Particularly at 4. 3 kids in and I've learned that polite but blunt/straight is the best approach. I've had far too many battles with my kids over the years.
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Post by swimchic on May 13, 2014 19:24:14 GMT
Well the Head Teacher collard me today.
Showed me the letter regarding spellings..I questioned what the test involved and she replied that they have to write it as "Boys learn it better"..Well unless my eyes have gone bonkers, Pink is certainly a girl!! Thank goodness she is retiring at the end of the term.
I questioned about how much homework they are meant to do and when it has to be completed by. She changed the days it has to be done by half way through the conversation which made me wonder what was going on.I still no idea of what the expectancy is.
I explained that we have a busy family celebration this weekend and would do what we could and she was fine with that...
Then I got home and Pink and I did her homework. Her book was way too easy for her and she got the spellings right the first time!! Its moving goal posts all the time!
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