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Post by sockthing on May 9, 2014 8:37:49 GMT
Off very soon to Kippers new school for a meeting about how to handle his transition. PAS are coming and so is his key worker/senco at nursery, and so is the lady from the FIRST team at County Council, so I've got lots of support. Feeling nervous though, partly because I am the only one who really understands just how scared he is by the prospect. He's terrified poor lad, to such Extent it's almost impossible to bring the subject up. I want to advocate for the best for my beautiful boy, but don't want to scare the school before they have even met him, by laying his needs on too thick. Any postive vibes/telepathy you can muster up while I'm there would be lovely.    |
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Post by milly on May 9, 2014 9:19:56 GMT
Thinking of you. Hope it goes well. Ask for typed up minutes afterwards so you are clear about the outcomes - it's easy to talk then come away wondering exactly what has been decided.
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Post by sooz on May 9, 2014 9:32:56 GMT
Tell them how it is and good luck xxxx
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Post by sivier on May 9, 2014 10:15:18 GMT
Agree with Sooz - be upfront and clear about his needs, so that they can put the right support in place. If in the event Kipper manages better than expected, well then great, they can scale down the support a bit. It is the school's responsibility to try and support all kinds of children, so don't worry about 'scaring' them, it's just informing them. Will be very interesting how they respond. Good luck (I know can get a bit emotional at these kinds of discussions, hope you are okay) .
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Post by esty (archive) on May 9, 2014 16:23:23 GMT
Hope it went well?
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Post by sockthing on May 9, 2014 19:09:08 GMT
Thank you all ever so much. It went very well, so you obviously sent top-quality vibes!
I actually had a wave of emotion feeling how lucky he is to have so many people working hard to make it ok for him...I know many people here don't receive such good support so feel very lucky.
The school were great, kind, friendly, flexible, open to ideas and discussion, happy to work with PAS if needed. He will have at least one extra school visit, just me and him to look at the. Lass room when it's empty. They are making him a picture book as a kind of social story tool. He will be allowed to stay on half days as long as he needs, even if that means a whole term or more.
They'll be starting him on School Action Plus, and have already got him earmarked for their social skills group work.
Feel very drained , but relieved.
Thanks for "getting it".
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Post by sooz on May 9, 2014 19:32:30 GMT
Fab fab fab! Expect a few bumps and blips but at least they are prepared to help  x |
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Post by sockthing on May 9, 2014 19:59:55 GMT
Thanks Sooz. Yes, there'll be some bumps I expect. I'm expecting the biggest issues to emerge at home...dreading that bit, especially as daddy will be away on business early on in the start.
But yes a great start!
Thanks x
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Post by esty (archive) on May 9, 2014 20:08:59 GMT
Sounds like they're really on board.
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2014 4:43:19 GMT
Oh that's great news Sockthing.
At least they sound open to "getting it" so you're half way there already and that's a great starting point.
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Post by want2adopt on May 18, 2014 9:52:14 GMT
My DD is just coming up to 4 and in September she will be going 'full time'
At present she goes to nursery for 2.5 hours a day, in the same school she will be attending full time.
I am so lucky that the nursery teacher is very clued in to her, and understands her needs.
She communicates with the year 1 teacher already about her and I have spoken to the year 1 teacher already.
Throughout June, they do a transition each day into year 1 so the children get used to being in a different class and different surroundings. They even get to stay for dinners in the dinner hall.
My DD has very difficult emotional needs and has mild learning difficulties. The nursery called in an educational physiologist to asses her, and the report came back stating that she needs 'support' in the classromm, but not one to one. There is a programme called 'ACE' where they interact with the teacher and not the child. It helps the teacher to understand the childs needs rather than work one to one with the child. My DD needs to feel normal, but needs help and support with normal daily things, understanding rules is a difficulty for her, she can repeat them back to you once told, but cant help herself to 'break them' .... she fiddles a lot and cant sit still for story time. She wont be able to concentrate at homework and even tho it will be done at home, she can only sit and concentrate on 1 thing for about 2 minutes before she's off doing something else.
She hums constantly, and this can be a distraction for some children, the children in DD's year 1 class, have been with her throughout nursery and so know her, and have come to love her and her ways.
Im really pleased that the nursery can see her needs and not ignored them as being a 'naughty' child. Ask in your school if they have the 'ACE' team available, and even ask for a assessment done after the he starts school. If they know he is 'different' they can look out for the signs. I hope he settles in well for you, there is nothing worse than a scared child being dropped off at school. You never know, he might skip on in and surprise you, after a week or two :-)
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Post by sockthing on May 20, 2014 9:54:41 GMT
Thanks want to adopt . Haven't heard of the ACE team...can you explain a bit more? I doubt very much he'll skip in happily - well maybe eventually but it's going to be a long haul. He's 9 months into nursery and still feels nervous before going. I had to hold his hand and walk him through the premises to find his key worker today as he went all withdrawn and scared. I am feeling a bit collywobbled. - not just about the transition but about how he will cope socially. With his peer group he is very defensive and I've noticed he has started to stop trying to make friends with them which is very sad. He stays on the outskirts wearing his angry face, or goes over competitive. With children clearly younger than him he becomes kind and protective, trying to hold their hands and look after them, and the more I see of this I really wish that he could start school with the year below him next Sepetmeber. That would give me the chance to gradually increase his nursery hours/days so that he gets used to being away from me, in a safe known environment. However he is a VERY bright boy, and mentally needs stretching. I wondered about starting him at 5 years old, as I am sure he will be a lot more emotionally confident, but I am worried that then he would then be at a disadvantage socially, and as he already has social skills problems I think it would add extra problems for him if he starts late and they all already have formed friendships. . Does anyone have any thoughts about that? It's has been said more than once that emotionally he is a 3 year old, and seeing as we've had him just 3 years it really feels increasingly like sending a 3 year old off to school.  |
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Post by sivier on May 20, 2014 13:07:06 GMT
I'd go with your instinct with when he starts, if 5 feels right to you. I'm not sure that a few months will make a massive difference overall, whereas those extra months building his confidence might?
I've seen three new children join AD's Reception class since after Christmas and they seem to assimilate really well into the class at that age, and the friendship groups all seem quite fluid still in the Summer term (except maybe for kids whose mums have been friends for ages already). And of course, AD herself doesn't really do close friends, not yet at least. I know it's not straightforward for Kipper. (The cross little face and the marching over competitively are very familiar here too.....).
You can do stuff with him at home? AD loves learning books and drawing numbers and letters on whiteboard well before she started school.
Sorry, not been much help. But I know what you mean about sending off your 3 year old to school - it felt like sending our 2 year old to nursery though she was 3.5.
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Post by want2adopt on May 20, 2014 14:46:30 GMT
If u can start him at 5 then this sounds like the right thing to do for him. Can nursery hold him back say for 6 mths, and maybe move him up to reception/p1 at easter next year? Those 6 extra mths at nursery might do him the world of good.
The ACE team are an early intervention service who work with parents/staff/health visitors etc. It helps children to develop more positive ways of expressing their needs. They work more with the teachers and parent's. They train teachers how to deal with the needs of the child, and to get them clued in to how and why the child is acting as he/she is.
My AD will be 4 in june but acts out like a 2 yr old at times. These show thru the way she walks (hands and elbows up like a toddler learning to walk) she bites her cuffs, she hums quite loudly, she has speech and language difficulties and goes to therepy in blocks each lasting 6 weeks.
I am very lucky as the nursery she is in, is in the grounds of the school where she will go full time, so the nursery teachers are very clued in and they too felt she would need extra support ir actually be held bavk to repeat another nursery year. As it is, the report from the education phycologist said that she does have complex needs, mild learning difficulties, emotional attachments, and poor social skills.
Im not sure where ur son goes to nursery and maybe sn assessment by them wont be available, but im sure in school the teachers will be able to pick up on any needs he has.
I read that you have spoken to the school and u are happy enough that they understand his needs, have u had a one to one with his class teacher yet?
I really hope it all goes well for u, I totally understand your concerns. Sometimes u hav just to go with ur gut feeling. Only u kno him best.
Good luck :-)
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Post by gilreth on May 20, 2014 20:02:42 GMT
My sister-in-law (reception teacher) is a strong believer in children starting when they are ready. if Kipper's birthday is after 1st April then recent government guidance says that LA/school should allow child to start reception September after they turn 5 if parents feel this is right. We've been monitoring this as Sqk is a late in academic year birthday but as it happens he is probably advanced for his age and is ready for nursery in September. Go with your instinct - sounds to me like he might be better off in the year below. when I was little my parents were asked to move me up a year twice but refused to elt school do it as emotionally/socially I was very young for my age even if I was advanced academically. To this day my close friends are all younger than me - indeed DH is 5.5 years younger. I did struggle socially at school so am a great believer in making sure it is right for a child.
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