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Post by justbserene11 on Apr 27, 2014 12:18:03 GMT
So a few of our friends have had babies recently and when we have met these children DH and I have held them. Poppet has not liked this AT ALL.....she will ask to be held too at the same time (so we do this) sometimes she has cried (so we kiss her etc), sometimes she has thrown a strop (we verbalised/empathise what may have upset her) and one time even informed me that the baby needed to go back to bed.
On the one hand, poppet being two nearly three, this I suppose is natural. I say this as many of her friends of the same age who have had another sibling have behaved in the same way or in fact worse. However, my mind flits from being conscious of her feeling I suppose unsettled beacuse she may feel rejected, to thinking that as she is making great strides in her attachment to us that this is confirmation of this (as she is able to express her feelings)?
i just wondered what your thoughts were.
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Post by sooz on Apr 27, 2014 13:18:59 GMT
My ds went through a similar stage at a similar age, I actually stopped holding babies because he was awful about it. It wasn't worth the fall out.
These days he loves babies and has no problem with me holding them, even wants me to have one! Lol
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2014 14:46:35 GMT
I had this with my two when they were around that age, particularily EDD.
I was not allowed to hold any baby without huge jealousy which made it awkward at a toddler group if a Mum asked me to hold their baby while they popped to the loo or something.
I think it something most toddlers do, but adopted kids can do it a bit more as part of their attachment and claiming you as their mum. I know my sister, 5 years older than me struggled when my parents adopted me, as she was so jealous and didn't like a baby coming along.
It usually settles with time, but you do have to keep a close eye on it in case they try and pinch or hit the baby.
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Post by justbserene11 on Apr 27, 2014 15:26:13 GMT
Thanks JMK and Sooz! I thought that was the case. Sometimes you need the obvious pointed out to you from your cyber friends.
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Post by moo on Apr 27, 2014 18:00:15 GMT
Try not to worry ( know that's easier said than done ).... My two were dreadful at that age... Think it is actually the 'norm' with our later 'attaching' l/o?...
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 27, 2014 18:18:30 GMT
Same with all mine till they hit a place of security with me...
On contact with howler, squirrel was v newly placed and would sidle up next to me and try to subtly push her off my knee... Once when I was holding a v little bub she asked if she could step on him! Fortunately his mum was out of earshot...
She's fine now, howler is fine unless she's really tired and then won't tolerate it, but more because she wants to be up...
George never minds me holding the girls, but will protest when I hold my nephews who are a similar age...
An extreme solution is have so many small children yourself that nobody ever really asks you to hold their children... Works for me:)
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Jealousy
Apr 27, 2014 18:20:50 GMT
via mobile
Post by chotimonkey on Apr 27, 2014 18:20:50 GMT
My bro's birth twins are 18 months and extremely possessive of their parents too... It's def an all kids thing but like has been said before maybe lasts longer as our kids developmental age is often slightly out of sync because of having to form baby style attachments much later/ again
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Post by flowerpower on Apr 27, 2014 21:26:14 GMT
One of mine has never coped with me even looking at a baby let alone holding one.
It does not stop at baby's apart from her sister she will get very upset if I do anything for another child I tried giving out the tomato kechup at a kids party once and she could not stop crying it makes it very difficult.
I would love to go in to school and help but she just does not cope x
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2014 7:18:26 GMT
Interesting what Flowerpower says about helping out at school.
I could never help out in EDD's class or school trips as she could not cope with sharing me with any of the other kids, so I never went in. I tried it and once when a little girl held my hand as we were walking along, EDD came and removed her hand and told her she's my mum, so after that I realised me being there would do more harm than good, so I stopped volunteering.
YDD on the other hand was fine with it, so I was a regular helper on loads of her trips.
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