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Post by sooz on Apr 22, 2014 14:35:32 GMT
Probably not the best time to be posting as ds and I are trying to finish his school project, due in tomorrow.
i can just about cope with reading with him, spellings and talking homework. But a project, oh dear me! I'm at screaming point!!
ive tried every which way I can think of, reward based, tiny chunks, small chunks through to 'you are not getting up from the table until it's finished' (which is where I am now). In view of recent health problems the teacher even said we didn't have to do it, but no, I said I didn't think ds would like to be the only one without a project. And we've done a down scaled version of what's required as it is.
id rather have teeth pulled without an anaesthetic!!!!
ive broken it down, researched it all with him, designed the folder, printed pictures, laid it all out, all he has to do is copy in his own handwriting what I've written. (So really this is my homework huh?)
i dont mind mind doing all that, ds is still learning and we talk lots about events and stuff, it's the writing......I am not exaggerating if I say he is writing one letter (letter, not word) every 3 minutes!!!
(I did sit with a pack of maltesers at one point, slowly eating one at a time, telling him if there were any left when he'd finished the sentence he could have what was left, how mean is that? But, he zoomed through that sentence, surprise surprise! Can't keep doing that, me or him, or both of us, will end up very unfit!!)
Survival strategies please..... Hints, tips, non alcoholic ways to stay calm, any teachers out there with pearls of wisdom???
i know the obvious answer is s@d the homework, but some stuff has to get done, and we have a watered down version compared to the other kids in his class anyway.
And.....I know ds, and I know if he didn't have a project to hand in he would be upset!
(Hats off to anyone who has to teach him)
bless him!!!
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Apr 22, 2014 14:54:48 GMT
My yd hates writing with a passion. I wrote a quick not in her home/school book and she was genuinely amazed that I could just write a whole sentence without stopping.
Sometimes, I suggest that she types instead of writes. By my reckoning it's content rather than handwriting practice and for her it makes it easier and more fun.
You could always print onto A4 label paper and then cut it up in strips so that you can add it to the appropriate spot.
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Post by runmum on Apr 22, 2014 16:15:27 GMT
My heart goes out to you. I have been there myself.
Our kids often have difficulties with executive functioning i.e. sometimes cannot resist the urge to act before thinking (start grabbing the scissors cutting out any old thing without thinking about the project), have difficulty holding stuff in the memory whilst doing a complex task (can't remember the goals of the project and what they need to cover) and here's the biggy - difficulty managing emotions to complete tasks and achieve goals (have a total meltdown and hurl themselves on the floor because it's too hard and everyone is going to laugh at them etc etc etc).
Projects are a nightmare because they involve so many steps and our kids cannot organise themselves and feel utterly overwhelmed.
You are not alone. I find using the computer helpful and I really "scaffold the activity." Tomorrow we are going to make a start on your project, it's about ..... I have found a few websites we could take a look at and you can let me know what information you would like to include. We can share the typing you type the first thing I will type the next. We will work for 10 minutes and then stop.
Day 2 we are going to have a look at 2 of the items on your project list and find some information/pictures. And so it goes on.
I make sure the teacher knows how many hours I spent facilitating the activity but also what I think my DS learnt because I did all this scaffolding.
And try to bite your tongue when the other parents talk about their kids going off and doing it all independently whilst complaining that they are so last minute!!!!
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Apr 22, 2014 17:22:48 GMT
Or medication (large glass of vino?)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2014 17:26:57 GMT
Wow Sooz that sounds exhausting.  I wonder if Snooz normally struggles with writing or is it just this project that he is struggling with? Sometimes kids who struggle with writing are better at typing on a computer? If he did this then you could print it out and cut and paste it into his project if that would speed things up. Not for this project obviously, as it is due in tomorrow, but maybe something to think about for the future. Or as Toko suggested, get him to dictate the content to you, so that he is doing it, but you are just typing it for him to speed it up. Great advice from runmum - Are you a teacher by any chance? Poor you I do feel for you and know how hard it is to remain cool in these stressful situations. Think you've more than earned those Malteasers or "small geezers" as DD used to call them.  |
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Post by milly on Apr 22, 2014 17:47:58 GMT
My sympathies - older dd is similarly useless at 'projects' - has no idea how to start or what she wants to do etc. It hasn't got that much easier even though she's 13 now. (But she has got better at doing straight forward tasks independently). I have always insisted she does her homework (not that she would care if she didn't hand anything in), so I know all about going through the pain barrier! Re writing - I always get her to type if possible as she loathes writing and has to make a mammoth effort to keep it neat. (But she is a fast typer)
Try limiting the time - say half an hour and then a break, so it is less daunting for him than a seemingly never-ending task. Also you could have a fun activity lined up for when an x amount is done or when it is finished.
Also praising every little step might help - I saw this modelled on a course once and went home and tried it on dd when she was in year 3 and it was miraculous how well she responded. So instead of getting exasperated (as I do despite what I am saying!), you might say 'I can see you are trying so hard, I like the way you wrote x, I can see you have nearly got the hang of y etc'
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Post by sooz on Apr 22, 2014 18:29:27 GMT
Oh thank you so much, feeling better now it's done, and not so bad as I'm obviously not the only one lol!
Project had to be 10 pages (including pictures), all handwritten in pencil, all with proper use of capitals and punctuation, set out with contents page, paragraphs etc....
I did break it down into small chunks, page 1 written on first day etc etc.. Lots of rewards!
All we had left to do today was the contents page and a sentence next to each picture (5 pictures) and it took nearly two hours!
And yet, I love teaching him stuff, he loves it too, he's always (argh always) asking questions, wants to know how everything works but it's all verbal, or sometimes showing things on the internet. Today alone he's asked me what abbreviations are, who makes mini's, what's an MOT and the latest one, what is tax!!
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Post by sivier on Apr 23, 2014 11:50:29 GMT
Wow - that sounds a lot of work. I am a mere novice with only one child who is in Reception, but I truly goggled at the thought that she'd be asked to do all that by the time she's 7...
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Post by sooz on Apr 23, 2014 12:48:22 GMT
As predicted, he very proudly showed his teacher this morning all the work he'd done! Lol
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Post by runmum on Apr 23, 2014 15:53:15 GMT
Good sign self esteem wise that he wants to show off the work even if the blood sweat and tears were yours.
No JMK I'm not a teacher but my PhD research looked at how students learn in high stakes, high stress situations e.g. healthcare students where someone's life was at stake. My conclusions were that you need strong scaffolding and nurture for the healthcare student as the stress is enormous. I have just transferred a lot of what I found out in relation to that environment to adoptive parenting and vice versa and it seems to work.
Sooz can now chill out until the next mammoth project. You did a great job supporting your little one and I really hope the teacher appreciates it. But do take time to reflect on what you think he learnt. The purpose of homework is to build on what they do at school and cement learning. I am never sure projects at such a young age achieve that - unless part of it is done at school - and that would apply to all the kids. The brief seemed pretty demanding - contents page, capitals in the right place, correct spelling etc.
I find typing is a godsend when these demands come through. I let my DS type away and then we "send the C.O.P.S in" to check it. He want to be a policeman so he likes this. C is for Capitals, O for Organisation/sequencing/making sure it makes sense, P is for punctuation and S is for spelling. He checks his own work first usually concentrating on just one thing such as capital letters and then I help him with the things he did not spot and because it's on the computer we can easily change it without making a mess with rubbing out etc. Exhausting but at least I feel it's constructive.
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Post by sivier on Apr 23, 2014 20:08:17 GMT
Love the C.O.P.S thing runmum!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 8:36:13 GMT
Oh wow I love the COPS thing Runmum FAB!!  (Wouldn't work in my house unfortunately as ex is one  ), but great idea for others. |
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Post by pluto on Apr 24, 2014 21:48:45 GMT
I find it always very strange that children get homework what they can not do themselves at home. If they can not do it, it is too difficult in my opinion. I have to say, have not seen any homework lately, I just let the child sit down for 20 minutes or so to make the homework (as I see that as my task), than I sent whatever they do or not back to school. no homework battles in my house, lol. Maybe we should start a post where we post pictures of 'our' homework A competition, who has done the nicest homework wins a price, I might have one or other adoption related book what I can offer  ! |
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Post by pingu on Apr 24, 2014 22:30:29 GMT
I sat today and helped ds2 with his homework. He normally gets 10 words he has to make up a sentence for, and I help if he can't think of one. They are just back after Easter today he had 25 to do ! And it's not straightforward words, it's things like luscious, gracious, victorious, etc. I know he is 10 and smart but I was surprised at this sudden leap in expectation - and he wasn't too impressed himself !
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Post by pingu on Apr 24, 2014 22:39:20 GMT
But we got through it eventually and both learnt a few things - did you know that a gannet has a skull as strong as a crash helmet? Ds2 informed me of this tonight. I think he has been watching too many natural history program's!!!
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dinky
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Post by dinky on Apr 25, 2014 21:36:55 GMT
This is part of MY homework from last term  Very proud of it I am too The sandbags were much admired by the other Mums Attachment Deleted |
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Post by moo on Apr 26, 2014 4:57:33 GMT
Wow guys... Sorry late to thus thread....
Well done sooz Xtra coping juice on its way ( lovin' the avatar )... Loved the thought of a proud snooz showing off all his hard work ;)Absolutely stunned tho at the level of homework.... We havn't had anything like that amount gulp dunno how I would cope.....
Great homework dinky double gold stars me thinks....
No toko didn't know that... Won't bore you all with astounding bovine facts  .. It's a bit early yet in the am!!.... 
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2014 14:50:07 GMT
Mmmmh about the parental help with projects though.  In my DD's "3 stages beyond outstanding" Junior school, there was massive competition from the Asian parents and some of the "kids" efforts were so obviously done by adults that it was embarrassing, but what I liked was that the head teacher was onto the parents, and he always chose a project that was obviously done by a child as the winning one. What made me laugh though was the dissappointed faces of the Tiger Mums when their little proteges didn't win.  I used to pee my self laughing, as my DD's efforts were always entirely their own work and as YDD is exceptionally talented at art, she often did really well in the competitions without any help from me.  |
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Post by pingu on Apr 26, 2014 16:18:56 GMT
I will help with project ideas , etc. but my kids have to actually do the project themselves. I might suggest sentences for ds2's English if he doesn't understand how to use the word ( half of them he rejects anyway) but he has to write them out himself. I will remind them how to do the maths, maybe by doing a few starter questions as examples, but the bulk of the sums they have to to do themselves, otherwise they are not learning.
I think schools should make clear projects has to be their own work, otherwise it's hardly fair on the kids whose parents don't or can't help.
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Post by moo on Apr 26, 2014 16:22:54 GMT
Think this will be my approach pingu..... Quite what will get done tho is anyone's guess!?!? 
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2014 16:52:34 GMT
That's what I meant Pingu, helping them is one thing, but actually doing the whole project for them is pointless and a bit sad really.
That was my point, some of the projects couldn't possibly have been done by kids of that age IYSWIM.
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Post by sooz on Jun 1, 2014 15:12:34 GMT
And we're back!
This weeks homework, writing on any subject....
We've picked Ice Age 3, we watched it last night (and the night before), we googled it, read about the characters and I've written a very brief outline of the story.
Again, all he has to do is copy it into his exercise book.
I've decided to leave him to it, having checked he could read everything I've written, he's on pain of death not to leave the table until it's done! So far, in 45 minutes he's written 12 words.
There is a treat promised when he's finished. The homework does not need to be in until Friday, but it's better to do it now rather than after a full day at school when he's tired.
I just don't get it, I wish I did. He can copy he can write. He understands the words. I've tried to explain if he does it quickly, or quicker at least, then he finishes quicker. I think it's that part he doesn't get.
I think my next try with it will be writing one sentence at a time and just giving him that!
(I did have a word with the senco after the last lot of homework and she offered if we do the research and I write it out in rough then they would get him to copy it at school, it may yet come to that, but I'm being stubborn)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2014 16:25:53 GMT
Just seen your latest post Sooz. Do you think Snooz might be dyslexic? Is he like this at school or is it only at home with homework? Just wondering because if he is genuinely struggling then their may be an underlying reason like dyslexia? Has he had his eyes tested recently? Just to rule things out? My EDD used to struggle to do homework at this age, not that she couldn't do it, she could, she just used to want me to sit next to her the whole time and it was just not possible for me to do that as she used to take hours. In the end I took the opposite attitude of trying to coax/ encourage/bribe her into doing it and said "Ok, if you don't want to do it you don't have to, you'll just have to explain why to your teacher" and that worked as she loved her teacher and didn't want to disappoint her or for the beloved teacher to think badly of her. I think with EDD it was more of a control thing - she thought she could make me sit with her every time for hours and once I took the "couldn't care less attitude" and made it her problem - she got on with it. Also DD's school had a homework club at lunch time for the repeat offenders who never did their homework. If homework wasn't done they had to give up playtime and go to the homework club to do it and funnily enough there were hardly ever any kids in there as it seemed to work with all the kids.  |
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Post by sooz on Jun 1, 2014 16:58:17 GMT
I've mentioned the possibility of dyslexia to the senco before, it was when ds started reading upside down! The other day he had to write his name on a large sheet of paper and did so, upside down, much to the amazement of the person asking him to write!! And yet, his reading is good, his spelling is good....albeit with huge amounts of one to one at school! Something to consider.
So much going on, it's unpicking it all!
Eyesight, well, he's + 6.5, regular eye tests.
He actually didn't want me sit with him to do the homework, so I left him to it. Wonders of wonders though, he asked me half an hour ago for help because he wanted to finish it. He realised I wasn't backing down, eventually!
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), but great idea for others.
!
Very proud of it I am too 
.. It's a bit early yet in the am!!.... 
