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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 11, 2014 5:56:49 GMT
I recently had one... And it was a scare, I have my hands full with our three... But you know me (always broody) and I'd have another full sibling of our babies in a heartbeat... But it. Made me realise that I categorically did not want to be pregnant or bring a lo into the house that wasn't a fully fledged part of my little brood... I love my little monkeys and their wonderful little faces and similarities and quirks so much that a different bAby, even if it was made of dh and I would feel second best... Like I said... If Dh was not firmly stopping at 3, I would continue adopting mini monkeys till the cows came home... Does that make sense? I tried to explain it to a friend the other day, but she questionned me in such way that I felt she didn't believe me eg how could I possibly prefer to have my adopted babies over a birth child... But I do these babies are embedded in my soul so deeply I can't imagine motherhood happening to me any other way... I felt a bit peeved that there is still this 'second best' label floating around
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Post by corkwing on Apr 11, 2014 6:54:10 GMT
Good on you, CM! That's how you feel: that's brilliant.
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Post by moo on Apr 11, 2014 6:59:48 GMT
Aww choti.... Hugs xx
Agree 100% about the irritation of second best label... Had some real digs over the years...
Hope you are back on plain sailing now !!
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by justbserene11 on Apr 11, 2014 8:01:07 GMT
Yes I hate that label too! I actually feel that I am the best parent to AD and dare I say it that BM is second best .
I recently read an article in a (spiritual) magazine that discussed how children chose their parents before being born. It made me think of poppet, how we came to be matched etc and just how perfectly like us (in appearance and personality) she is. I found the article to be quite uplifting really. I am a great believer in fate. xx
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Post by moo on Apr 11, 2014 14:04:12 GMT
Really interesting thread choti...
Getting some amazing responses....
Would love to be considered for a sib if one happens with baa & skweeks b.m. Only prob is I am one ancient mummeeee.... Think I would be rejected coz of age.... Deffo ( even if I could ) would not want a birth child..... Love my trainee tractor drivers....
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by serrakunda on Apr 11, 2014 16:16:27 GMT
I'm just impressed you have the time to fit the required activity in
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Post by jollymummy on Apr 11, 2014 16:37:57 GMT
I'm just impressed you have the time to fit the required activity in Haha. Me too.
When we went to see a solicitor to go for adoption order, she told us we should expect to be asked whether we were using contraception (to avoid potential problems of introducing another one to an already very active family). My response was, with three very active children under 5, there was no need for contraception!! LOL!!!
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Post by ham on Apr 11, 2014 16:39:42 GMT
someone asked me the other day if I met a new man would I want his baby think she forgot I do have a bc. firstly NO apart from the fact I'm nearly 50, no longer have the equipment and my ac although adults still need me. and bm still producing it seems and would not consider them either.
planet adoption hard but no means second best.
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 11, 2014 16:58:27 GMT
It's good to know that others get annoyed with the second best thing... And that tokoloshe you know exactly what I mean... I wouldn't even think of rocking the boat with our Los if it wasn't a full sib... And as for the 'required activity' normally three children under 4 are normally a v effective form of contraception
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Post by loadsofbubs on Apr 11, 2014 18:38:47 GMT
I completely get where you're coming from choti. I got to a point in my 40's where having another birth child would have been an imposition! (I would have welcomed them but I didn't really want to raise another child). it would have been an immaculate conception mind you so would have been headline news!! I get round the broodiness (coz still get broody!) by having foster babies. all the fun and so little of the responsibility as they grow up else where eventually!
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