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Post by threelittlechicks on Feb 28, 2014 8:23:51 GMT
Hi
i have been meaning to post this for ages, and am just in a roll so here goes!
last year we worked with CAMHS tier 4 at Great Ormond Street Hospital with our son, who was struggling in every part of life, as indeed were we.
A behaviour our consultant suggested the book The Incredible Years by Carolyn Webster Stratton.
Its not adoption or attachment focused in any way, but I must say it is the best parenting book I've read with tons of practical strategies.
My reason for posting is that at the time I could find no reference to it on the bubble boards, or indeed on here. However, if you ever go on a parent management training , this person is one of the go-to people and her strategies are used.
Im I sure some people won't like her, and before you waste any money (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Incredible-Years-Carolyn-Webster-Stratton/dp/1892222043) I must tell you she advocates sticker charts (gasp, scream, turn pc off now in disgust!) but as part of a much wider programme.
I also think think is good to read in conjunction with our attachment reading, and it complements it.
Anyone else heard of this or have views?
3LC
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Post by swimchic on Feb 28, 2014 13:42:15 GMT
It is very good..
Many children centres deliver it as part of a parenting course too.
Swimchic
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Post by shadow on Feb 28, 2014 14:35:30 GMT
many moons ago I did the Incredable Years course - sadly didn't work for us
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Post by donatella on Feb 28, 2014 17:27:24 GMT
Hated it! My sons school ran a course - I did one session and didn't go back. It struck me as being more for dysfunctional parents - I did have a long conversation with the psychologist who ran the course and she did eventually agree that it wasn't the right strategy for functional parents of dysfunctional children.
I tried one of the homework tasks - disastrous! I had to give complete control over an activity to my son. The control freak. Who innately believes that mummies are weak and that he has to be in control. And handing him that total control just confirmed that I was weak and he couldn't trust me.
Use it very carefully. I'm not surprised that camhs would recommend it - along with sticker charts - but pick which bits you use with a lot of thought.
Sorry. It probably would have worked for some parents and children in my sons EBD school - with a secure attachment and clueless parents - but it was totally inappropriate here.
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Post by damson on Feb 28, 2014 18:25:51 GMT
We did a course based on Webster-Stratton, before we adopted. Some bits were helpful, but others missed. At the time, I remember thinking that it was because my children were effectively a developmental mosaic - some bits developmentally delayed, others age appropriate. I remember saying to the staff that they really needed to customise it for adoptive families, similar to Don's discussion with the psychologist. I don't enjoy being treated like a dysfunctional parent because my children behave oddly. We used sticker charts for a couple of years as part of a range of cunning wheezes to get the children to get ready etc etc. We tied them to pocket money for a while, with rather counterproductive results  Praise, praise, honest praise about specifics does work well on children and adults alike. As does not offering too much choice. After some years, I went on a course about attachment, and almost simultaneously, my AD was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, as I discovered that the attachment based techniques slid off her. Then I began to understand why some approaches had worked, others not. I finally had an explanation for a range of symptoms and behaviours, and began to map a pathway to more sensible responses. But then again, after that many years, I had a clearer sense of the children themselves. I'm still learning, and my next book is Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slow , because I think my kids live in Fast thought land almost all the time. |
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Post by donatella on Feb 28, 2014 19:22:03 GMT
Two of mine are on the spectrum and my la ran the NAS early bird plus course which I found really helpful. I found the trouble with behaviour management strategies was that they don't always look for the reasons for a particular behaviour and without addressing those then the behaviour will recur? If that makes sense? With my kids if I dig deep there's invariably something underlying a behaviour and thats what needs addressing.
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Post by chocolatedog on Feb 28, 2014 23:10:56 GMT
No good for us - CAMHS sent me on it, but a lot I was doing already and the rest just doesn't work for junior.
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Post by threelittlechicks on Mar 1, 2014 9:24:23 GMT
Firstly, I'm glad I'm not the only one that had ever heard of it!
I agree that the courses does seem to be run for dysfunctional parenting, rather than children.
However i found the book is written in a very positive manner. The first chaper is how to play with your child, which whilst sounding rather basic, has even a great reminder to me that as ever busy as I get, getting back down on the floor and playing with the moshi monsters or whatever is far more valuable than just having time together. This is then part if the basis for the following chapters.
Perhaps the book is not written for the dysfunctional families and instead the courses are aimed at them?
Anyhow, nice to see a discussion about this. I was amazed earlier in the year when I couldn't find Webster Stratton or this book mentioned on either forum. Hope it might be of help to some others.
3LC
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2014 9:37:48 GMT
Thanks for the heads up on this book 3LC.
I hadn't heard about it and will add it to the recommended books to read list on the Resources Board, unless you would like to add it yourself as you actually read it and I haven't?
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