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Post by cowgirl on Feb 26, 2014 11:37:21 GMT
Hi
DS is 4 & starts school in September
We have known & admitted heavy drinking by BM & drug abuse
I intend to tell the school the info above & suggest that FAS training is perhaps looked into. It's a nice middle class school & I m assuming no dealings of FAS
DS is anxious (much better lately) & can't take correction. He will now allow Dh & I to correct him without sobbing (most of the time).
Question - do I tell them about FAS ? Most of the teachers are aware he is adopted as ds1 was there at placement
Pre school have no concerns & feel he just took a long time to settle as some kids do. Rarely needs correcting at pre school but has cried when corrected. But nothing note worthy.
When we read his PAR we felt he would have FAS & from our research it would be age 7+
Placed at a year & meeting milestones etc
He is a happy bright & totally gorgeous child.
Family for example think everything will be fine for him. I think they feel I make him anxious !
Anyway I do not think I'm being pessimistic knowing BM disclosures which family are not aware of.
Attachment problems ? I've read loads on this but feel out of my depth.
Any thoughts on my ramblings ? Not sure what I'm asking but I have a gut feeling school will say he is fine & just shy. Perhaps he is but I feel he has more chance of things going wrong & better to be prepared
Perhaps I could speak to PAS ?
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Post by daffin on Feb 26, 2014 15:44:02 GMT
Didn't want to read and run. I'm not experienced in the area of FAS, but I'm sure others will come along who are. DH and I are wrestling with what to tell school when Monkey Boy goes in September. Nursery have no concerns about him at all, but we see behaviours at home that he doesn't display with others. I fear that he won't be able to 'keep it together' at school as more will be demanded of him and for longer. So, I think we are going to talk to the school about his behavioural quirks and how we are currently dealing with them and make sure we have good communication with the SENCO, class teacher and Head. We are also going to talk to them about Thrive, a kind of nurture group based on ideas developed by child psychologists to help children with their social and emotional development.
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Post by daffin on Feb 26, 2014 15:44:53 GMT
P.S. I very strongly doubt that you are making your son nervous!
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Post by sooz on Feb 26, 2014 16:09:38 GMT
Hi there
i don't know about fas so much, personally, but I do think it would be a good idea to have a chat with school and let them know that you would like them to be informed there could be some issues surrounding his early history. You don't necessarily have to go into specifics but let them know there could be more than meets the eye.
ask for any issues to be reported and discussed with you so that you can work together and find a way to help him should anything arise.
maybe if things become challenging for your ds you could then disclose more?
If you come at it from the angle of, I'm happy if he's happy but we need to act quickly if not, then you've covered both sides. Make it clear you'll be very proactive in getting him help if needed.
and listen to your mummy radar! It's usually accurate, even if those close to you dismiss it! Xx
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Post by milly on Feb 26, 2014 19:01:04 GMT
I am not sure you need to tell them anything much at this stage, unless you want to. Certainly explain his worries over correction, but since you don't know the cause for sure, there's no need to attribute it to fas.
With my older dd her issues were out there from the off, so we talked a lot to school. But dd2 is very different. They knew she was adopted as we applied for her nursery place before the match was confirmed. I got her the session I wanted and a longer intro period based on general adoptee needs. Her only issues are occasional anxiety which they understood from those early days. And tantrums but she only has them at home. In public they only happen with us and are then just continual moaning rather than raging. So I knew she would never have one at school. A paediatrician we saw prior to her starting school told us to warn them, but I decided not to as I knew it wouldn't happen there - it never has and she is in year 4 now.
Btw it says in her medical records that bm drank, though we don't know how much, but she has no symptoms of fas whatsoever.
Why not give some general information but wait to see how things pan out otherwise?
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Post by cowgirl on Mar 6, 2014 19:50:45 GMT
Thank you. Much food for thought
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Post by pluto on Mar 6, 2014 21:07:24 GMT
Has your son a diagnosis? If not he should be tested for FASD. You need to know to give him the best chances in life. Children with fasd need to be parented in a very preventative way, otherwhise they fail time after time. Children with fasd have often low IQ's and are slow learners, they need a lot of support. Emotionally they are half their age, so they need to be treated much younger than their chronological age. Impulsiveness, behavioural problems, poor cause and effect thinking, etc, etc. Ones you know for sure you have to share with school. If your child has fasd your avatar is ironic  |
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Post by cowgirl on Mar 7, 2014 0:22:12 GMT
Avatar was first picture that came to hand - whoops !  No diagnosis As he is just 4 yo & his 2 areas of concern IMHO are being corrected & being anxious. He really enjoys pre school. I watch him at toddler group - he is on the sidelines & almost under my skirt but really wants to join in. If I join in he will. No major tantrums or spikes of behaviour in or out of the house. In many ways more helpful, affectionate & sharper than my Birth son at that age. A regular 4 yo so I've always assumed we wouldn't get a diagnose until issues arise. |
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Post by cowgirl on Mar 7, 2014 0:28:52 GMT
Changed the avatar ! |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2014 8:29:24 GMT
Cowgirl if you're looking for a new avatar, I did some for you a while back. Don't know if you've seen them.
They are on page 9 of the Avatar Thread on the Chat Board if you want to have a look.
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