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Post by sockthing on Jan 25, 2014 14:02:59 GMT
Oh no! Now I keep crying. At the drop of a hat. Stupid stupid. What on earth is wrong with me, I really need to get a grip. Poor DH. :0  |
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Post by damson on Jan 25, 2014 15:35:08 GMT
Oh dear, I know the feeling.
Sending you a huge (((((((sockthing))))))
It's a sign to stop running and have a real rest.
xxx D
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Post by smileycat on Jan 25, 2014 18:31:19 GMT
Oh Sockthing, sending you lots of love and hope you get that rest Damson suggested.
SC x x
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Post by chotimonkey on Jan 25, 2014 18:41:36 GMT
Hugs to you sockthing, you sound like you need a big dose of tlc abd some down time, is there anyway you can get a bit of time out.
I had a night recently where I put Los to bed (dh in of course ) and went to stay the night at my sisters who lives locally, she made dinner gave me a glass of wine, we watched a film, went to bed early, read a bit, stayed in bed till 9 and went home, I didn't miss much time with the Los so didn't have the guilt but felt much better for it, is there anyone you could do this with, have an overnight in a newsboy hotel so you get a break and a tiny bit of distance to reset
Be v gentle with yourself, you are a v strong person and deal with loads, it's ok to feel like you don't want to be strong for a while. Remember you need to nice things for yourself, we get so caught up in the needs of our children that we forget our needs are real abd every bit as valid.
Give yourself a break and a chance to let whatever needs to come out, come out
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Post by ham on Jan 25, 2014 18:44:54 GMT
Hugs.take some time for yourself and may a trip to the gp would help.
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Post by serrakunda on Jan 25, 2014 18:48:23 GMT
Absolutely some down time needed. I go through phases when I cry at the drop of a hat, sometimes it's just too much and you need a break, even its only a few hours
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Post by shadow on Jan 25, 2014 22:06:19 GMT
sounds awfully hard - please try and get some time out for you
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Jan 25, 2014 22:30:42 GMT
Hi, agree that rest sounds needed. Pulsatilla is a remedy that can help when I feel like this.
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Post by sockthing on Jan 26, 2014 11:05:40 GMT
Thanks for everyone's kind words.
DH sent me off for a bath and book at 3pm yesterday. I don't think aim depressed but will treat it as an early warning, and make a concerted effort to get some R&R even if in small bite sized bits.
I think bad nights with Kipper are playing a big part. He's stopped climbing in our bed (which is good) but he wakes 2 or 3 times every night and won't go back to sleep on his own. Sometimes lying there with his eyes open for an hour. Last night DH sat with him for half an hour, then K went to sleep - DH came back to bed and we were just dropping off 20 or 30 minutes later and then kipper woke again. DH went out and did it all again....got a bit hysterical (DH) so I took over. I sat with Kipper another hour before he eventually fell asleep.
Thanks
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Post by sivier on Jan 26, 2014 13:16:30 GMT
((((sockthing))))
Just seen this. You sound exhausted. The broken nights can really knock the stuffing out of you, can't they?
And it is really hard when you can't really leave Kipper with any/many other people in the day.
Can you use the time he's at nursery to have a long bath, go back to bed and read a book, or go and get a relaxing massage?
Hope this week is a bit better and you can find some spots of R&R.
xx
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Post by daffin on Jan 27, 2014 9:03:25 GMT
Oh Sockthing! My heart goes out to you. I have been finding the broken nights hard recently, too, but Monkey Boy at least goes back to sleep almost instantly (just as well since I'm getting up to Mouse, too). Exhaustion can be terribly undermining, I find, as it's hard to be my normally buoyant self. Some things I find helpful....
Eat well. Try to eat lots of different colours. Sounds nutty, but it means that you automatically eat lots of fresh fruit and veg.
Don't ditch puddings (at least at the moment). Some cheering apple crumbles etc are what winter calls for
Phone a friend/ meet for coffee/ drop in/ organise play dates with someone you like. Choose someone who's relentlessly cheerful (I've got a friend up the road who's brilliant at this. She's just so upbeat, it rubs off)
Read a novel. Avoid crime thrillers or anything dark. Go for some escapist nonsense.
At the end of each day, make a list of 5 lovely things that happened today - could be as small as seeing a lovely bird in the garden to having had a real breakthrough with Kipper
Go for a walk every day, even if it's raining. Take Kipper, if you want, the exercise MIGHT help him sleep
Keep talking to us here. Bottling it all up won't help and we won't judge you. We all know how much you love Kipper and what a thoughtful, caring Mum you are
Get a babysitter. Go for a date with DH. Get dressed up. Go somewhere you've been thinking of for ages.
Find cheaper, easier treats to give yourself every day.
Remember the (corny, but true) Buddhist saying ... 'This too shall pass'. It will.
This won't all appeal to you, but pick some bits out. May help.
Oh, and see if you can help Kipper with his sleep issues. Is it driven by anxiety? Can you do some games with puppets and story telling to help him vocalise his fears and or give him a reassuring narrative?
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Post by jollymummy on Jan 27, 2014 9:40:58 GMT
Sockthing - picking up on one of the suggestions made by Daffin. Buy yourself a little notebook and write in there everything positive that happens to you. Just the littlest thing can go in there. e.g. someone telling you that you look nice. Or DH telling you to have a bath, take a book and have a break (he is being supportive and thoughtful). Then when you have 5 minutes you can read through all the positive things that have happened to you. Also, use the creative side of your brain. Research has shown that it can be very soothing. Sing/knit/sew/draw/ colouring in/ paint/ listen to music/ write poetry etc etc. I definitely do not do enough of this. Nearly all my leisure activities involve cognitive (thinking) skills such as puzzles/ computer games etc. But you might find it helps you a little.
When the kids were little, my DH used to take them on a train to London (he commuted so had a season ticket and kids went free) get off the train, buy them a McDonalds (a huge treat as they didn't have them often)and then get the train back. This was to give me a break, to allow him to spend time with them and the kids loved the train rides and McDs.
Some useful suggestions from everyone else. Hope some of them work for you. xx
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Jan 27, 2014 9:43:10 GMT
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Post by imp on Jan 27, 2014 9:56:18 GMT
Sockthing. I agree, the broken nights are truly awful to deal with, and almost certainly the root of your tears, It only takes a little thing to bring them on when you are worn out from broken nights.
Some great advice and ideas, hope you are feeling better soon (and actually, your body can get used to broken nights, but I hope it won't have to)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2014 15:00:16 GMT
Tiredness can make you prone to weepyness.
Could you go round your parents or childless friends house for a night away from Mummy duties just to sleep and have a restful night, leaving DH to sort Kipper out? It is amazing how much easier it is to cope with stuff when you have had a full nights un-interrupted sleep, you will feel so much stronger.
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Post by sockthing on Feb 3, 2014 20:41:10 GMT
Just bumping this up to say thank you all for your kind posts of support.
Since I posted I have had a nasty flu-like virus, which I'm still not quite over. so I think that May have been contributing quite significantly, along with some shocking nights with Kipper. However yes, tiredness and burn-out are also constantly lurking. I have taken your suggestions to heart and have been going back to bed while he's at nursery, and I have made a list of loads of self-pampering treats however small and am trying to work as many of them into the week as possible, even if it's silly stuff like painting my toes or having a chat with a friend. Too many of these things have been neglected- largely because Kipper is SO intensely demanding of attention the whole time he is awake. I really struggle with this aspect of managing him. I am trying to use the Boards a little less as I recognise I need to not constantly think about Kipper!
I managed an hour long chat on the phone with a close friend while I was in the bath on Saturday - so that counts as a double treat! I may try and add to the "what have you done for you today" thread, as a motivation.
Waffling and rabbiting on, but wanted to acknowledge everyone's nice posts, and PMs , which really DO make such a difference.
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