The problem is that I dont want to parent from a distance.

But what will be will be, and as both my daughters have said they don't want to come home, both have said that they don't want me at the review meeting, both have said that they will not consider seeing us for the time being.  so there you have it, redundant set of parents and extended family...not needed/wanted/required....but my friends as you all know our children are like boomerangs.....they will at some stage in some manner come back.  And is it so wrong of me to want to hear from people who really don't get it, because these people say things that for a fleeting moment make me feel "worth it", so when a person who does'nt get it says OMG how could your daughters treat you like this after all that you have done for them, how selfish and ungrateful of them....then after the fleeting glow the guilt and frustration sets in, really my children cant help this, yes certain choices are being made by them and they now have to accept responsibility for those choices but they really cant help a lot of what they do, and only time will tell if they can ever be happy.

The girls have been split up, SW who is in the good egg club, made sure distance was there, she convinced the IRO that at this time weekly contact between the girls was not a good idea, this was now backed up by littly who states she wants a break from everyone, sister, friends and most of all us.

Middly is sad, she is now alone....she don't do alone, SW says that middly is more likely to be in touch before littly, and she is surprised that middly has not done this already especially as her bail conditions say not to contact us...that's the red rag to bull thing middly has...the dreaded NO word.

SW got the review as two separate meetings, she has first hand experience of what happens when both girls turn up at meetings...imagine bun fight at the OK corral with tourrettes and accusations. Both girls presented themselves well....good eye contact, smartly turned out, only one outburst from middly..but apparently that was in context of the meeting.....I should have listened years ago and definitely put them on the stage.

It is early days, the SW knows them,  them her, she has been around a while, we all hope that things will work for the girls, part of me wants it to work so that they can move on the other part of me wants them to explode so that others can see how it is for us, but again what will be will be.

Middly is now realising how difficult it is to juggle money/shopping/organising stuff, she had said something similar to me and my sis when we met, she has said that she misses the chance of earning money for chores around the home, again I take pride in that. 

Littly is looking forward to all the new activities she is hoping to do with FC horses, sand sailing, boxercise, and I truly hope she can enjoy these things, she will be going back to an alternative education centre near the new FC, and again I hope that she can work towards her exams which are looming, it is a shame I may not be able to support her through this...but what will be will be.

Both girls go to court for the assault, we don't know how they will plead, we have already been contacted by the witness service checking if we will go to court and have we any hols planned in the next 6 months because it could take that long depending on their pleas.  Then littly has to go the following week for the criminal damage to the school, and in a recent e-mail from SW the police want to question littly abut another criminal damage charge as she has been identified on cctv fro November....she is building up quite a record.

DS....who shall now be known as lurkio...he knows we say this it is now a family nick name...is still lurking, he still refuses to sign on, look for work, do anything to help himself, we had everything in place, housing, benefits, training scheme..... housing lasted 6 days, benefits one payment, training scheme a few weeks, SW says he is the worse case she has dealt with, the truth is she should not have been involved at all with him but did it to help us. So lurkio is still lurking, he comes he goes, sometimes he talks to us other times he just don't, it makes no difference to  him what way we treat him he just does what he does.

Me and hubby are OK, we have reached that acceptance point, some things still hurt and probably will always hurt, but we are getting there, hubby is much happier going to work as he knows that he wont have to face his fear of finding me at the bottom of the stairs, or rushing home because he knows its all kicking off, sleep is getting better, we are doing things for us, together and individual, it is strange not having them around, it is sad as well, they are such big characters and so much in our lives and hearts.

thank you my friends for all your support, hugs and most of all your understanding.