Where is this path leading. | Adopters & Foster Carers Support UK

sooz
ASB

Single Adopter

Posts: 1,243

Where is this path leading. Jan 8, 2014 13:43:06 GMT

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Post by sooz on Jan 8, 2014 13:43:06 GMT

A heads up from those in the know would be helpful here.

ds is in year 3, the school told me over a year ago they don't think ds will cope in mainstream secondary, the minutes of that meeting indicated I had raised the concern and school had agreed with me. It was the head who first mentioned it, not me, in fact I was quite shocked at the way it was just blurted out.

Anyway, having considered the options I do think ds will struggle in a large secondary environment, bearing in mind he is a young 7 year old but making huge advances now in all areas (as far as I'm concerned), and that things could change one way or the other in years 4, 5 and 6.

it seems to me, however, that since ds got his statement, everything has become a tick box exercise and I feel I'm being guided towards a pre determined route by means of stealth. Seemingly casual emails etc ending in 'as has been previously discussed' or 'we are in agreement on' or 'as was mentioned by'. It all feels very uncomfortable. And I'm not sure why, particularly.

what do I need to be aware of?

Mum to Snooz, a quirky but fab 17 year old with ASD and Tourettes.

moo
Administrator

Posts: 10,348

Where is this path leading. Jan 8, 2014 15:47:00 GMT

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Post by moo on Jan 8, 2014 15:47:00 GMT

Weird sooz....
Be brave put it in writing back asking what they mean ( especially if you are unsure or it was only mentioned in passing briefly )
In my experience school arn't keen on letters coz they can't ignor or change the contents as they can/do in conversations!!

Good Luck...

Xx. moo. Xx

Proud single adoptive mummeee to brothers baa & skweek 18 👀 & 17

( 38 & 23 months at placement together ) WoW Where Did The Time Go?....

serrakunda
ASB

Single Adopter

Posts: 4,965

Where is this path leading. Jan 8, 2014 16:36:42 GMT

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Post by serrakunda on Jan 8, 2014 16:36:42 GMT

Does seem a bit early to decide he won't cope in mainstream secondary, as you say he's just got a statement and he's making good progress. You don't have to make any decisions yet and when you do it will be yours anyway.

i am grappling with this myself as Simba is year 5. Simba is at special school, doing marvellously well, I'm not keen on him going to a broad spectrum special secondary but like you can't see him managing in a huge mainstream. I've identified a smallish (600ish) secondary which I like the look of and will be visiting them soon.

at least with having a statement and being adopted we should be able to get then in where we want.

if you aren't happy with the records of the meetings get them amended or at least put in writing what you feel is the correct interpretation of what was said. It think I would also put in writing that you feel it's premature to be making this judgement and you will consider what is best for YOUR child at the appropriate time. Then I would go off and research the options, assume mainstream and see if there is anywhere you would like to aim for . I can understand why you feel uncomfortable, it does sound like the are trying to lead you down a certain route, without maybe putting in place things which may help him to operate in a mainstream secondary

Mum to the 'hansom' Simba, age 19 and 40 now retired teddy bears and FC to Special K, age 12

milly
ASB

Posts: 845

Where is this path leading. Jan 9, 2014 18:18:20 GMT via mobile

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Post by milly on Jan 9, 2014 18:18:20 GMT

Could you arrange a meeting with the head and get them to lay out the specific reasons why they are saying this? You aren't sure, and you know your child best, so why is the head so sure? Do they have evidence to substantiate their view? As a teacher myself I know we often feel a child "won't cope" with secondary but they often do - it depends on what the issues are. It certainly seems too early to be so definite about it.

Mum to DD1 (16) & DD2 (11)