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Post by justbserene11 on Jan 2, 2014 12:24:20 GMT
Well Xmas period is over but the aggressive behaviour has resumed after a long hiatus. Our LO is 2 1/2 and is scratching, pinching, hitting and throwing things. I have even noticed that when she is playing it 'feels' rather aggressive. Now, from reading some valuable threads etc on here I do know that this is the fall out after lots of visits, late nights etc. Although, after visits we would have a quiet calm day after it seems that the above has increased. When she hits me, I will say 'kind hands' and move her hands a way or get up a sit somewhere else. I also try to ignore it, but that is hard when it hurts. I was wondering are there any strategies you have used, is there anything more therapeutic I could be doing?
Thanks
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Post by ham on Jan 2, 2014 13:27:12 GMT
Yes it seems the change has thrown up some issues for you.it can be difficult for children to understand words.what are kind hand.back this up with an action eg stoking your arm.practise this when your lo is calm so not always being done in fraught situations.
I also used pictures /rebus symbols if routine was going to change so my Dd had some knowledge of the day.(would just do am,then pm then evening).even though my Dd is 19 she still has to know what is happening on a untypical day.
If she needs to get rid of aggression play games like throwing scrunched up newspaper into a bin or physical activity eg star jumps.
May be think about next christmas and what you feel is manageable for you all.many of us have had to change our excpectations of Christmas and create our own traditions rather than the ones we remember from pur childhood.
I hope things settle down for you.
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Post by chotimonkey on Jan 2, 2014 14:19:20 GMT
Hi b11 Our two year old reverts to aggression when she is unsettled too... Things that have helped/ we've noticed She needs more time then we think to calm down, needing a couple of quiet days or a quiet week to reset sometimes She is usually worst on the quiet day after whatever is unsettling... I think where she realises she us with us and safe and then can release whatever built up It gets less the more emotional vocabulary we give her to use... I can see you feel very cross, is it because you want squirrels toy etc We watch her carefully for her early warning signs body language and facial expression giand try and head things off before they happen, lots of distraction and redirection When there is a big change we keep her contained in a v tight schedule eg up 730, breakfast 8, free play till ten, snack at ten, 1030 -12 small trip eg library, local soft play, 12 lunch, 1230-230 nap/ quiet time, 230-330 craft, 330-430 outside time 430 programme 5 dinner 530 bath 6-630 milk and programme, books and bed. Normally we are fairly flexible and she copes fine, recently her little brother was placed and we spent a month back in a v contained routine We give her lots of little choices throughout the day, red or green dress/ apple or orange juice/ this book or that book etc She also has half an our every morning and afternoon just with me while the others are asleep and she is v much in control of what we do Model with toys wanted behaviour and incorporate it into play, she loves her gruffalo oft toy and we teach other toys how to be gentle with the gruffalo We play pretending to skeep and she comes and wakes us up with gentle kisses or strokes and we wake up and shower her with kisses and compliments about her gentle she was I tell daddy when she gets home about a moment she was gentle. I find she gets really lost in sensory exploration play... Things like being in the bath with lots of shaving foam and her toy polar bears, having a bowl of dried lentils conkers acorns etc and a cupcake Tin to make cakes, shaving foam and food colouring on her old high chair with spoons little pots etc. Snow dough, playdough, ready break, sand, those funny polystyrene things that pack around things, bubble wrap etc I find she plays far more calmly with these then most toys I sing with her when she's getting hyped up and start off at her fast tempo and gradually slow down with her to bring her down, same with putting music on and dancing to something really fast to blow off a big if steam and gradually choosing slower calmer music Oh and blowing paint around with straws was another thing that kept her calmly engaged for ages Draw together on the back if big cardboard boxes from christmas Hope some of these help... Our howler used to hit a lot, now it's only very rare and when there are v big changes like an additional sibling, she's normally pretty chilled  |
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Post by sooz on Jan 2, 2014 17:43:50 GMT
A handful of maltesers or similar, visible but out of reach, each time you get hurt you get one to make you feel better! Lo gets what is left at the end of the day. If any!
Doesn't have to be sweets but helped focus my ds when little!
The better the behaviour the more sweets left, but it's not directly punishing if you see what I mean.
I remember those days quite vividly, never knew when I was going to get lumped! Xx
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Post by peartree on Jan 2, 2014 19:40:03 GMT
Hi
Trust your instinct on this
Lo is doing plenty of push me pull you
Tbh my ac always find 'down time' much more stressful
It means they have to do relationship and that's super hard for them
I've sent a pm with practical therapeutic ideas dealing with wobblers
But you might like the 'baby talk' book by dr Sally ward
She's not written an adoption book but lovely games for you to do with LOs up to 4/5 yrs
Ideas for your toy box at new stages
It's great communication fun with children. I found it when my bc was a toddler and my older ac loved the games despite being 11 and 13.
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Post by swimchic on Jan 2, 2014 21:40:36 GMT
PLaydough is also very good...They can bang it, push it together, vent out their aggression and nobody gets hurt.
Don't buy it, make it. Very easy and a lot cheaper!
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Post by moo on Jan 3, 2014 7:47:31 GMT
Some great responses b11 I hope they give you some ideas... Particularly like chotimonkey day plan.... As you know closeness stroking guessing & strict routine usually helps the out of control child....
Hope things are settling down xx
Hugs xx
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Jan 3, 2014 13:18:19 GMT
Imagination tree and nurture store are good websites for craft/ sensory ideas... I use them a lot when in all out of ideas
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Post by justbserene11 on Jan 3, 2014 14:53:56 GMT
I just wanted to thank you lovely people for your kind words and brilliant suggestions. Unbeknownst to me I actually do some without really thinking about it, but you have given me some brilliant ideas to use now and l feel really inspired. After having a chat with DH last night, we realised that the scratching, slapping etc has increased since DH returned to work after Xmas. I have had a cold and AD never responds well when I am not on top form (and sadly my tolerance decreases).
Thank you all again
Xx
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Post by chocolatedog on Jan 3, 2014 22:48:36 GMT
PLaydough is also very good...They can bang it, push it together, vent out their aggression and nobody gets hurt. Don't buy it, make it. Very easy and a lot cheaper! Yes, but the only problem when you make it instead of buying it is you don't get that wonderful playdoh smell!  |
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