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Post by peartree on Jan 1, 2014 23:49:29 GMT
Evening all units
Arf partridge having completed snogfest for another few days
Non arf pip is on nightly prowl
Black cat outfit to sleep in being no help
Agent blossom remains settled
The bovine excitement meter is snuggled up once more under the orchard stairs
So comrades
New Years resolutions ?
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Post by peartree on Jan 2, 2014 17:17:14 GMT
En1 realised she wrote bovine excitement meter
Oooops!
Think one important thing for New Years resolution is to make sure en1 tries to read messages before posting.... ;-)
Funnily enough non arf pip is very tired
En1 is also very tired
This is due to much getting up as about antics in the nocturnal 'should be in own small bunker' hours
En wishes that small non agent was better at own bunker staying and has run out of 'incentives'
(Check section 3.4 - bribery and corruption!)
Arf blossom is very keen to meet up with love interest bare chest variety
He tends to lurk about on arf blossoms phone rippling at all those who would like a scout at his ripples
En2 had a funny 5 minutes when he heard about blossom and possible love interest
He developed a marked twitch when arf blossy cheerfully showed phone demonstration of ripples talent of love interest.....:-0
The joys of teenage daughters and their Dads.
En2 has asked that the local cop shop do a little digging about as the arf are known for their iffy choice making surrounding the whole <3 thing- en1 thinks a small conviction for dope and shoplifting might be alright. As long as riot act is read and kept in place
En2 thinks he should be well , tbh that he shouldn't be at all near his daughter
Sigh!
En1 is getting excited
En is going off on ACQUIRE HELPER CANINE SUPPORT MODULE
This weekend :-)
Clearing off on Sunday and not coming back for several days
This means en2 has taken time off his paid expeditions
Apart from Thursday- which is one of the only days en1 has no after bootcamp cover for pip
Which makes en1 miffed
Cavalry grandparents still out of service due to post surgery hurty malfunction
So en1 interested to see who en2 can magic up....
Arf partridge is playing xbox
With non arf mate who has gone to university bootcamp
This is a friend he's had since age 11 and it's truly lovely to have him about, en1 sort of wishes she could try again with arf partridge now he's that bit more settled
And thankfully arf agent is hanging on here however challenging it is to keep him on straight and narrow....
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Post by shadow on Jan 2, 2014 23:38:12 GMT
NOKWTFTD and camp chaos is in dire straits
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Post by peartree on Jan 3, 2014 8:37:03 GMT
Camp chaos
Eh?
Love pear tree x
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Post by oysterbabe on Jan 3, 2014 8:38:36 GMT
No one knows what the f to do? I would half hazard a guess .....
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Post by peartree on Jan 3, 2014 8:42:53 GMT
Camp T
En1 has seen photo :-)
En1 was selected by 4 legged comrade opposed to other possible mummy's
En has a busy couple of weeks bonding with canine of desire- working things out command during the days and then grooming him and settled just the 2 of us in the evening
Tbh adoption service could learn a thing or 2!
Is it all about the bonding xx
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Post by peartree on Jan 3, 2014 8:45:27 GMT
No one knows what the f to do
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Post by peartree on Jan 3, 2014 9:12:24 GMT
Non arf pip has opened the crafty making cupboard.....
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Post by peartree on Jan 3, 2014 9:24:45 GMT
Aaaaa she's got the paint AND glitter
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Post by peartree on Jan 5, 2014 9:49:29 GMT
Good morning all units :-)
Leafy leader reporting
Arf partridge is lurking in the teen lad zone
Rumour has it there is life within the stinky mire
In fact communicative grunts have been heard
The feline mascots were mightily pleased with the orchard en2s decision for fish and chip rations as hobbling the left overs is truly a kitty perk of being 'loved' by Pip at every opportunity
En1 has sat them on her bunker and told them straight that she's bringing home a Canine Support module of the woofy Waggy variety
They are not very impressed.....
Non arf pip is showing en1 her colouring book acquired from Father Christmas
Generously donating to mummy in case I get bored
Arf blossy is on operations today and is going off to ride dobbin
This is a supported ride as arf blossom is a flighty soul and has been known to code 'borrow' dobbin
The member of staff thinks blossom is LOVELY
The mos is new
Mos can't understand why blossy is in unit as is code LOVELY
Arf agent has viewed new MOS as code 'fair game'
Unit has recovered from strange affliction that occurred on the new MOS first sleeping night duty....
Arf blossom in charge of creating porridge ration for following day nosh.
Strange lumpy facial rash which nearly had the contagious disease unit out
Turned out to be porridge mixed with MOS's foundation mousse.....
Arf blossom delighted :-)
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Post by damson on Jan 5, 2014 17:36:30 GMT
The baleful light of GCSE manouevers shines upon our camp.
Arf Agent 1 too tired to reconoitre, skulking in foster camp, probably in bunker with electronic communications devices, pretending to prepare for GCSE work.
Arf Agent 2 fervently practising french communication skills in preparation for a GCSE French mock assault course.
Curiously averse to using authorised 'Bite sized' military manual to improve skills.
Meanwhile meterological events are progressively de-roofing the small garden bunker, and essential supplies will soon be damaged. ENs Sunday afternoon expedition to Homebase has procured blue waterproofing sheet and yellow nylon securing material. Unfortunately, small bunker is pressed into perimeter fence, and overtopped by adjacent bunker's security planting. Commander EN2s plan to use feline agent to run yellow line round perimeter of bunker has met with feline rudeness as she has not forgiven protective insect killing liquid applied a.m.
Scarps of roofing material are presently leaving on the wind...
Spondoolies may be involved here, as Arf Agent 2 and EN1 both agreed that rain and darkness made water protection manouever impractical.
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Post by oysterbabe on Jan 6, 2014 8:39:53 GMT
Seafood division reporting in. Glad boot camp has reopened today. As in damson camp mock GCSE assault looms in next few days! Agent Whelk (Einstein sub division) has been so clever he has no need to revise. En1 has had to babysit all revision since boot camp break up and bite size manual has also been apparent in this division with extremely limited success. En1 could get A* if she entered for the exams as I am an expert on An Inspector Calls and the Anthology code breaker manual. Here it's Groundhog Day though, answers through gritted teeth one day are forgotten the next and verbal assault ensues! Oh joy. I have thus waved the white flag for now but will do rapid fire random questions whilst he's zoned out on x box (with "mates" listening in hehe that'll teach him).
en1 and fellow en1 attended Gig last night following rations and fizzy (alcoholic variety) and a lovely time was had by both.
Taking Agent Cockle karting today as his numptie school reconvene tomorrow. He will get a lift in en1's new battle tank, which I drove home for three hours on New Years Eve from place of sale in higher midlands. He is v excited to drive in it and test out the maximum volume buttons on the stereo with some trance cd he has. Wish me luck and send ear defence immediately.
over and out.
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Post by gilreth on Jan 6, 2014 14:32:40 GMT
Camp Nest reporting in while little agent Sqk sleeps. Overall we had a good festive period although ARF agent has been grieving in his sleep again. EN1 even managed a full 4 hours to herself yesterday as EN2 took little agent out. Admittedly EN1 did spent most of that time doing houseworky stuff. ENs nervous at moment as we met family of origin on Wednesday which is a saga in itself. EN2 has to give plenty of notice to paid expeditions about time off and cavalry grandmother (EN1's side) is at the other end of the country so meeting had to be morning as cavalry aunt (who isn't cavalry really as she is an EN herself to 2 agents) is looking after agent Sqk which needs to be while her elder agent is at bootcamp. However EN Aunt has ridden to rescue after family of origin had to change time so ENs can still go.
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Post by peartree on Jan 6, 2014 21:11:08 GMT
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Post by peartree on Jan 6, 2014 21:22:26 GMT
Good evening comrades
Very interested to read all reports and would like to wish every success to operations under the command of ONION battalion. En1 had to use them once against very nasty head teacher and remembers that stress with a shudder.
Wishing camp preserve and camps elsewhere facing the trials of GCSEs and other exams all the best, frankly en found that bitesize on the computer a "flogging dead horse" exercise and instead mr cock sure Arf partridge discovered to his delight that you can get audio pod thingummy what's its on download and en1 would pay...
Additional bribery and corruption of downloading music of choice when spent time with EN1 doing code "revision" which generally turned out to be learning it for the first time as Arf agents find retaining things a big challenge
Excellent deployment of en2 noted in nest camp
Sending medal in dispatches...
Now en1 is away
And Arf blossom is having a small wobble of promising to go places and do things and then refusing and denying she's agreed to any such thing.
Trying this with love interest may have a dramatic affect and wonder if it's young blossys way of giving ripply nipply the flick (that's well dodgey I realise writing it but it made me chortle so it remains!)
En2 is managing well, holding all lines whilesr en1 is off acquiring canine support unit
He's Waggy and licky and calm xx
En1 thinks she might be falling in loooooovvvvve
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Post by damson on Jan 6, 2014 22:27:20 GMT
Operation Remove all trace of Christmas successfully completed in Camp Preserve.
Feline agent deterred from ingesting tinsel and assisting in detonation of glass bombs.
Last dried fruit and pastry rations consumed, topped off with festive chocolate ration.
Silent Night, Secular Night, peace only broken by EN2 competing with recorded mature teams doing University Challenge. (A virtual virtual challenge for the Commander?)
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Post by shadow on Jan 7, 2014 19:21:51 GMT
camp chaos appears like a scene of mass murder - what appears to be blood stains on walls, doors, computer screen toilet seat- any ENs able to guess why?
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Post by peartree on Jan 8, 2014 13:25:01 GMT
Ooo me shad
Erm
Ummm
Agent chaos has decided to make salsa, cooking up a storm in Mexican food ranges?
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Post by peartree on Jan 8, 2014 13:33:13 GMT
En1 doing a quick sneaky report from the side of new love interest
Yes fellow ens- this en has fallen in LURVE with hairy leggy blonde of the licky loyal variety
We are about to have first adventure in en1s battle tank.
En1 is doing a blog of exploits and if readers of this would like to check it out- please pm me.
Arf blossom has been trying to (shock!) STOP SMOKING
Apparently rolling 6 strands in a pipe cleaner thin rolly at a time as her new boyfriend doesn't smoke at all
She has a big powwow at local further bootcamp on thurs
En1 worried as cannot go with/ support agent
So en2 been instructed to purchase well done card from local emporium however well she actually does,
It's audition based and the unit have been practicing techniques of answering questions fully
Arf blossom appears to consider all such activities as INTERROGATION Gestapo style and clipped yep won't score so well.
Life in you later teens seems mountain range full for a young lady arfer.
Arf partridge has been in touch but trying to be all tough while looking forlorn and lolupping is a clue!
Love to all camps xx
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Post by gilreth on Jan 8, 2014 20:11:14 GMT
ENs in Camp Nest had bad night last night but not caused by ARF agent. Stress over meeting this morning that in the end went well. EN Aunt reported on return that little agent Sqk had been very un-arfish. He just snatched toys twice from the younger ARF agent cousin. ENs then took agent out to somewhere he could run off energy which he did but found it again at code bedtime. All quiet now & EN1 relaxing in bath blessing a waterproofed communication device again.
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Post by chocolatedog on Jan 8, 2014 23:03:04 GMT
Erm K9 division in Camp Chaos has split open the end of his tail, and has since engaged in CODE wag furiously?.........
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Post by damson on Jan 9, 2014 20:21:40 GMT
So Camp Chaos, what was the red stuff?
Mega rations of Ketchup, or stronger armaments? (Camp will soon have a blue plaque for the site of the Texas Condiment Massacre?)
Has the red stuff come off Camp equipment OK?
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Post by peartree on Jan 9, 2014 23:26:36 GMT
Is camp chaos still erm well ? En1 late night report Arf blossom has continued along with love interest and so giving up smoking is on the horizon still (0 please God at least one if the teens stop the evil fire stick addiction!) Arf partridges gf is over at chez pear tree in spare room facility. En1 says if you can't be good be careful and has arranged en2 to place useful Prophylactics in the bathroom cupboard alongside spare always pads, plasters and mouthwash. Surely the A-team or mcgyver could make a weapon of mass destruction out of that lot.... Actually Pip might find some new things to make bath toys out of.... Oooh! En1 is once more sleeping next to her new beau He is lovely And today en1 and beau went all round the housing estate together. He's going great guns with his training. En1 has however committed cardinal sin of dropping iPad which has shattered the screen of glory. Worse. En1 whilest trying to retrieve iPad noted iPhone sliding off bunker. Now fetching crack has appeared. At least en1 has a licky friend to help her pick it up  En is hoping arf blossom did ok with college powwow today (fingers crossed, she gets an offer at twirly Whirly dancy singy place) Good night fellow comrades Xx |
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Post by shadow on Jan 10, 2014 8:43:49 GMT
hope agent managed at her powwow
agent chaos decided to become a redhead - in a moment of returning to life - thus the sharing of red hair dye throughout the camp
any suggestion agent could clear up caused massive meltdowns
at POWs session with trauma brainwasher of excellence (BOE), it is understood by BOE that agent is in complete crisis and terror and actually until support happens, there is nothing POW can do as one person alone except keep agent alive , fed and watered
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Post by oysterbabe on Jan 10, 2014 9:30:04 GMT
Seafood division reporting in glad it's daylight hours. Pull string that provides light in submersion room was removed by arf agent yanking too hard. En2 went red with rage until en1 reminded him that I've lived in this camp way before agents were airdropped and light pull has remained intact for close on 20 yrs! As agent Whelk is doing elecktrickery at Further Bootcamp from September I have a feeling it may be out of action a very long time, maybe another 20 years?
Over and out.
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Post by aprilshowers on Jan 11, 2014 7:08:07 GMT
Calendar camp reporting in, although camp is empty of arf...with the exception of agent flight who is still flying and lands occasionally at camp then flies off for a while...no by your leave...no doing anything for his future....just out playing with friends...he's 18 when will he grow up....
agent fight is full of the fight, oh the injustice of it all....oh how could you make me homeless....we didn't...oh SW how could you ignore me and not come to see me to help me....SW did twice in a week and agent fight was not around.
agent freeze....well so out of control and so under the control of agent fight....this arrangement will be ending sooner than later...en1 made it very clear that if the powers that be did not divide and conquer the arf she would then we could have the row.
en1 and en2 are getting some semblance of life back, although we still get the arf carp via various mobile devices and boys in blue but we are together, we are strong and family are there for us as well as our knowing and understanding en friends. |
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Post by gilreth on Jan 11, 2014 12:47:09 GMT
EN1 in camp nest has managed another ARF free morning - although this time she has also eared some spoondoolies from part-time work from her usual place of paid expeditions. Later she has to go for code dentist to have filling replaced. Hence EN2 took agent Sqk off hands for a day. On subject of the agent he appears to have rediscovered mojo and was full of energy in early hours and early this morning. EN2 has promised EN1 to run some of that energy off....
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Post by peartree on Jan 11, 2014 21:40:29 GMT
Greetings all camps from en- away from her beloved orchard but much like fellow calendar camp is still ARFED often by mobile devices, boys in blue and life in general
Arf blossom.... Hmm
Well she had a shout about on Sunday apparently and new boyfriend arrangements needed to change which lead to more shouting
But today comrades arf agent attempted proper date with young lad of teenage acquaintance and attended large moving picture zone. Arf blossoms idea of film watching generally is collecting vast rations of food stuffs and consuming this in silence ideally a few spaces between her and whoever she's in with
Nearness to others isn't what agent thinks films are for.
So comrades quick texting her through things has taken place
Bearing in mind lots of full on experiences, en1 smiled when arf blossy texted if it was considered right to hold hands while eating popcorn with the other even if you are staring at LAST VEGAS.
Actually, the calls from the boys and girls in blue have stopped over the weekend and en1 fired off some emails to the various powers that be to remind them in case they needed it that the pear tree parents are in seperate bases currently
That en1 is unavailable and therefore en2 is a one man band who needs support. The court case involving accusations of what someone did to agent blossom is under serious threat and ens I could have done without having to sort that out this week. (Why comrades do they always ring late Friday so you can change naff all and just stress?)
Arf partridge has assisted en2 in helpfully sorting out pips garden toys with her into her play house and storage. The idea is en2 will construct dog lavvy area of superbness
Suspect the sweat jar is in for a windfall!
Arf en2 and pip coming to see en and wonderdog tomorrow
We are doing great and today wonderdog learned to take mummy's jacket off
Super aren't they these doggies?
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Post by damson on Jan 11, 2014 22:11:30 GMT
Camp Preserve reporting in. Small garden bunker is now ship shape for next bout of climate-change driven mad weather. As predicted,spondoolies were spent, but not on paid support troops as Arf Agent 2 completed brush clearance and waterproof material installation with EN2 as the moon rose and sun sank... Arf Agent departed to spend well earned spondoolies with great satisfaction. ENs surveyed the garden bunker with equal satisfaction, even if it does look like it is wearing a large blue shower hat Agent now out past appointed hour and electonic communications device curiously silent. |
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Post by shadow on Jan 12, 2014 9:44:05 GMT
interested in why the orchard has a sweat jar - and why sweat is being collected
pow reeling after a day of no verbal abuse yesterday - albeit agent chaos hardly left bunker and spoke very few words to POW but at least those that were uttered were not abusive
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