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Post by fruitcake on Dec 31, 2013 7:08:01 GMT
My dh had a heart attack a fortnight before Christmas. He has no risk factors: has never smoked, is not overweight, eats a healthy diet and is fairly active - could probably increase exercise a bit.
G.P. said that he was very surprised as dh is still "young" for this, but blamed his genetic and heritage and ... "all the stresses and strains you have been under in the last few years due to the difficulties your family has been through" (meaning extremely difficult adopted son and all he has put us through).
He is now on five medications, will be closely monitored, is doing very well and the prognosis is good, but ...
"He will be the death of us" feels like more than a cliché.
It is hard, this job, isn't it? Take care all you adoptive parents and look after yourselves, really look after yourselves.  |
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Post by mrmlegal on Dec 31, 2013 7:20:30 GMT
So sorry to hear this. I do hope that he can now have a much more stress free life in future and that your children realise the importance of this to your dh.
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Post by justbserene11 on Dec 31, 2013 7:32:56 GMT
Sending you love and hugs xx
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Post by moo on Dec 31, 2013 7:51:21 GMT
Hugs fruitcake & dh xx{{{}}}
WoW what a leveller!! So so shocked for you....
I hope you can get some understanding from your ds...
Heres to a calmer 2014... 
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by ham on Dec 31, 2013 9:08:37 GMT
the strain our children put us under is immense and we get so little recognition or help .so good on the gp for acknowledging this.
hope your dh continues to make a good recovery, remember to look after yourself.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2013 10:56:42 GMT
Wow fruitcake, what a lot for you to contend with.
Hope you are looking after yourself in all of this. I think sometimes it takes something big like this to make us step back and look at things differently and maybe to realise that yours and DH's health are just as important, if not more important, than your children's. I mean if either of you two go down, the whole family goes down.
I have been through and am still going through the mill in the past 4 months and now both DD's are in care I have finally had time to rest and think with some distance from them, and my new years resolution is to look after my own health, both mentally and physically. I have always put everyone else ahead of myself and it is all catching up on me right now. I am close to the edge and I realise that if I don't start putting my needs first, for the first time in my life, I may go under. It has been a huge wake up call to me and it has changed how I view everything and everyone. Taking a step back sometimes is the right thing to do and we parents can sometimes care too much. I am now learning to care for myself in the hope that I will become strong enough to care for my children again.
As you said, it is a hard price to pay, but you and DH have been given a warning, a second chance, don't waste it, do something for you. The rest can wait.
Hope 2014 is the year things turn round for you. Learn to let go a little. Hugs to you and DH xx
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Post by shadow on Dec 31, 2013 12:51:04 GMT
thank goodness he is OK - what a scare for you all
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Post by ceci on Dec 31, 2013 14:01:30 GMT
Fruitcake. It must have been a shock. Hope he improves quickly. Look after you too. It's not an easy road.
Ceci
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 31, 2013 14:07:13 GMT
What a shock for you all... Enormous hugs and love for you.
If it's any help my dad had a heart attack age 30 when I was 3, he's still here in fine fooling, and thoroughly enjoying life and being a fabulous grandad. You can long live a long and happy life and in sure your dh will... What a shock for you all now though.
Hope your wider family is being supportive
All the very best to your dh and I'm quite well versed on heart related stuff, so if you ever want to ask anything please do
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Post by sooz on Dec 31, 2013 16:09:16 GMT
Wow, big shock for you all! I hope dh goes from strength to strength.
I'm going to be doing a bit more looking after myself after a recent health scare, I realised how bad it was when given the date for my operation I found myself looking forward to the day as I could switch off, let others take over and actually looked forward to the general anaesthetic as a way to relax!
Being stressed can just become a way of life, until you forget what being chilled out ever felt like.
Take care xxx
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Post by lilka on Dec 31, 2013 18:37:11 GMT
What a horrible thing for you to have to go through, I'm so sorry to hear this
The strain of caring for our children can be so enormous. Take care of yourselves xxx
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Post by daffin on Dec 31, 2013 19:28:40 GMT
Really scary. I hope DH is recovering well. Can you get help around the house/with the kids for a while to reduce the strain you are all under. It must have been a horrible shock for all of you, and the impact of that might take a while to be felt, including by the kids. I hope you're all able to do some things in the next few months which nurture you as individuals but also bring you all together strongly as a family.
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Post by fruitcake on Jan 1, 2014 10:00:02 GMT
Thanks all. Yes our G.P. is understanding of what we have been through. I went to him myself recently having suffered periodic agonising abdominal pain. He ran lots of tests (thought it might be gall bladder disease) but all came back fine. I am now wondering whether this was stress related. We do both need to find better ways to deal with the enormous stresses we face as adoptive parents to one very damaged son and several others who all have their issues, though are doing comparatively well.
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Post by pluto on Jan 1, 2014 12:30:58 GMT
Oh Fruitcake what a shock, I hope your husband recovers quickly and is soon feeling strong again.
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Post by mayan on Jan 1, 2014 13:05:21 GMT
So sorry to hear this news Fruitcake - sending much love and strength to you all and fervent wishes for a good recovery for your dh - sounds like he is in wise hands there. I hope you can find some small ways to give yourselves the healing time you both need on a daily basis and especially for you as no doubt you are at the helm with things.
Sending a virtual patchwork blanket full of kind and uplifting thoughts for you to nestle in on a wet and windy day and wishing better things for you all in the coming year.
thinking of you - stay strong
mx
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Post by kizim on Jan 1, 2014 19:42:51 GMT
Fruitcake - what a terrible shock. İ hope your dh continues to recover and like others have said...now you need to put yourselves first and consider where you have to make changes to reduce the levels of stress you are facing. Easy does it.
Jofran
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Post by sivier on Jan 1, 2014 20:38:30 GMT
Hope you and DH are getting over the shock a bit. Scary, horrible. Hugs and hope DH feeling a good bit better.
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Post by vickyvixen on Jan 2, 2014 22:36:12 GMT
So sorry to hear that - I hope you are all ok & that Mr F feels better very soon
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Post by gertiesquidge on Jan 3, 2014 23:44:37 GMT
Very sorry to hear that, and wishing your husband a quick recovery. Look after yourselves as much as you can x
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Post by aprilshowers on Jan 11, 2014 6:56:19 GMT
Sorry coming to this late fruitcake, what a shock and yes the immense stress we all live under does take its toll on us eventually, I know how hard it is but do try to build in some YOU time for you both whether it is together or separately, recently hubby has started to watch a local football team, only the home games but that couple of hours he is away is his time and I can see the benefits of it, hubby always makes sure that I get a bit of me time, it does help, just that time out to be you....and remember You are worth it.
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