flowerpot
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Post by flowerpot on Dec 18, 2013 11:51:05 GMT
Having just opened today's Christmas cards, I am again forced to read (they drop out of the cards in full technicolour) about how my friends' families are doing so amazingly well. Their children are achieving so much and looking towards the future with such certainty; they are celebrating exam results and enjoying life.
Now I know these are their edited highlights and it is all my stuff really but ...
it just emphasizes the chasm between my world and theirs. This way of life that I lead, a way of life that I was not expecting. The distance grows ever-wider and I'm knocked over by the pain of it again.
Christmas seems so very hard this year.
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Post by smileycat on Dec 18, 2013 11:55:22 GMT
Of Flowerpot you must be a mind reader, I was going to post exactly the same thing. It really does hurt...
:-(
Hugs for you,
SC x x
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Post by ham on Dec 18, 2013 15:26:38 GMT
hugs .
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 19:47:22 GMT
For the first year ever I have decided I am not going to bother sending any cards this year. Firstly I haven't had the time and have missed the dates for overseas posting, secondly have one child in care and not knowing if she is even going to be joining us for Christmas Day or not, thirdly am recovering from my other child going AWOL for 27 hours. How can I honestly sign cards with all three names on it, wish others a Happy Christmas, when most of them have no idea of what my life is like at the moment. If I was to put in a round robin about our life, I would probably never hear from half of them again. Better to just not do it at all I think and see if anyone even notices. Bah Humbug - and I used to love Christmas.  |
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Post by damson on Dec 18, 2013 20:21:44 GMT
Yes, I think a round robin of our life would definitely put a prompt end to many a Christmas Card relationship! Truth is though, my mother used to be very mocking about round robins 30 years ago. Christmas 2012 was dire for us, and I didn't send the usual set of cards. I couldn't bring myself to say jolly things when life wasn't nice at all. Some people did get in touch to find out why, and those are the ones that are really friends. Now, what would my round robin say, if all had to be sweetness and light? Hmmm. DD has learned to say thank you. AD apologises after mouthing off. What (not so) small triumphs would you like to put in a round robin?  |
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thespouses
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Post by thespouses on Dec 18, 2013 20:56:19 GMT
Our latest hospital admission (came out today) was only 3 nights rather than 4. And we only had to give little boy's full sordid medical history to one set of doctors this time.
I did wonder if they had out somewhere on his notes "stop asking about family history" and "yes you have read that right about his medical history" on his notes.
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Post by jollymummy on Dec 18, 2013 22:10:04 GMT
We would have to have a book printed to be able to update everyone with what has happened to us this year. I used to include round robins, but actually find that with FB most friends know the snippets I would include. Close friends, of course, know what is happening with us. So they are now unnecessary.
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Post by shadow on Dec 19, 2013 9:14:20 GMT
I have less and less people to send cards to as they drop away
But my round robin would include:
This year shadette became a legal adult
It has been an interesting year - as usual starting with the threat of attending another hearing for "lack of parental care" and "failure to attend school"
The police investigation over the internet sexual exploitation still is ongoing
Shadette still refuses to leave the house and now barely functions (except when performing extreme sexual acts live online) - occasionally coming out her room, even more occasionally washing or changing her clothes
She has turned her room into an "instillation" worth of tracy emin - titled "an indoor landfill site" - so far the seagulls and rats have not appeared (but may be there, just obscured from view by the clutter and the door slammed in my face)
While waiting for a place in the care home for young people with mental health problems she busied herself with an online romance leading to engagement - her fiancé travelling from he furthest south part of the UK to be met by my parents and then the police - who informed us that this love interest (peado) of shadettes was not only 42 years older than her but has "previous"
Communications with birth family have been typical Jeremy Kyle style - with several bouts of verbally abuse of me on speaker phone for my poor treatment of their "princess"
Fatalities include tree fish and three snails - one cat is missing in action
High levels of surveillance are maintained by social services - and several police visits (including two cars with flashing blue lights when shadette locked herself in a room with a large knife at her throat) leading to more referrals for hearings
fortunately lack of any clue what to do with shadette meant that despite many letters advising of possible hearings, things drifted and she now is too old
I hope you all have had as interesting year as myself and like me, are looking forward of another year of surprises and new challenges, meeting new people (ie even more professionals in our lives) and new and better sticker charts
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2013 9:32:45 GMT
I'm sorry Shadow but that is fantastic. I'm alternating between chuckling away at the thought of you actually sending this, and then feeling incredibly sad as it is all true, if told in an amusing way. Perhaps you should send it, just to see if you get any re-action form anyone.  We here appreciate it, and we do understand unfortunately.  Anyone else brave enough to share their alternative round robins? |
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Post by mudlark on Dec 19, 2013 10:15:55 GMT
Oh everyone..I do feel for you all....and suddenly I do begin to know how that is...as my friends and family say...oooh how lovely you have children this year for Christmas...they must be so excited..you will have a magical time....
No I have 2 children that for a variety of reasons are dreading Christmas and levels of anxiety high....we are not even sure if we will bother with Christmas lunch...possibly a tree but that could be an error..... I too used to love Christmas...xxxx
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Post by smileycat on Dec 19, 2013 12:46:42 GMT
Oh Mudlark.... things tough here BUT I would say maybe do as we did last year and put it up xmas morning. It gave us a focus so it wasn't just gifts. Potato was delighted to see the tree again and recognised the tree decs saying oh I remember... we just out it up too soon this year.
Assides from a couple of gifts we keep the routine the same, we do do a roast but as normal time. That helps...
Hate to say it family still don't get it, don't want to get it, so we are just v careful about what we say. Those who want the tea and roses story and won't be supportive of anything shared we just smile and say oh yes DD is so excited... (grrrr)
It's hard... I've def got a fixed smile on my face as I type!!!!
Love,
SC x x
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Post by lemonade on Dec 19, 2013 20:04:32 GMT
...and here was me thinking it was only just me who felt like this 
Thankfully most round robins have declined over the years thanks to fb etc but of the two I received so far this year, both ended up unread in the recycling bin  And as much as I would have loved to read about how wonderful their family were doing, I couldn't bring myself to read them.
Just the homemade Christmas card with the photo of all family members plus married children and husbands all dressed in shades of blue - was enough especially as this friend only contacts me now at Christmas. I have tried to talk to her on fb but she was always too busy  so unfortunately I think the truth is my family is too dysfunctional for her to cope with. BTW I never send her a Christmas card.
I can't even bring myself to write all that has happened this year, as some of the time I survived just hour to hour or one day at a time and I don't even want to face reliving it.
But here is to 2014 may it bring us all peace, health and happiness and as they say ... things can only get better  ... we can but live in hope ...
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Post by smileycat on Dec 19, 2013 22:38:47 GMT
...ah lemonade, if it helps I found myself thinking this morning -just take each second as it comes Smileycat- ... that way I can think well that was 5/10 seconds that went well!!!!!!!!! ;-)
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Post by smileycat on Dec 20, 2013 11:20:24 GMT
Okay...
So we've survived another year, Christmas is once again upon us, the lack of sleep had by all is for a change not thanks to Spud but Potato as the xmas build up is causing her extreme stress and anxiety. We've apologised to the neighbours for her hour long screaming tantrum sessions, of course like you they think that if she was in school it would of been knocked out of her.
Spud has grown a much needed few cm's this year but this has now opened up a whole host of new things for him to obsessively fiddle with and now that all the windows and doors are locked, every possible dangerous thing switched off- esp the oven I'm feeling so much like a jailer that I'm thinking of applying for a job in one of her Majesties prisons, after all given the practise I've had with dealing with extreme tantrums I feel I'm an ideal candidate.
As ever thank you for sticking by us and being supportive..... not.
Happy xmas and new year,
Smileycat and family x x x
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Post by peartree on Dec 20, 2013 22:00:13 GMT
Welcome to the orchard family letter
Mr and mrs pear tree enjoyed several times this year and it's been a joy each second to think we have such fine specimens as our charges in life.
Our son Partridge is now 18 and did pass his course at college
They have not pressed charges for damages this time and even got him in to IM A LUMBERJACK AND I DONT CARE course as he's pretty much excelled at the I DONT CARE bit already
You may know that he's a strong contender in the Olympics squad for being the fastest, strongest, gobbiest , most resourceful, indestructible all round super hero who does the 400m hurdles with one bound.....
Certainly his exhausting training regime of waking at 0700 hours after mr pt removes his blanket and threatens 'trial by water' puts a spring in his step down the steep peaks of the stairs, before devouring a challenge few bowels manage in what is known as the mount shreddy conquest.
The next task of the week is to butter up his parents so they don't suspect the web of lies that partridge tangles himself in until mr and mrs pt are in the midst of despair once again with a lying toad for a son... Perhaps a career in pond biology beckons?
And blossom, well, she reached the dizzying heights of 16 and to be honest things were going along a pace in the summer with her artful dodger routine until however artful she is, dodger is something she can only do for so long
So, in line with her high octane wired for thrill purposes she obtained the highest honour the courts can bestow on a young lady without sending her to the DES RES of several hundred quid a night at her majesties pleasure
A stunning high tech bracelet of seductive post punk era beauty adorned her graceful frame and since then it seems the dodger has returned to more artful pastimes and has started training in local military provision in order to pursue a musical career
Having recently watched the Harry potter films again, we are sure this is to either lull 3 headed dogs to sleep or to set up a uk version of pussy riot...
Still trying to think of the really great thing
Ah yes
Mrs pt has a new knee and can once more stand and be clad in the mornings, further more she is to get a new addition to the family in the firm of canine support friend and mr pt continues to hold on through the desimation of the Nhs to his job.
Pip is simply a FIESTY character with a way with words
These inform us that the Mary and Joe Fish had baby Jesus and they live in beds tea ham
She has, you'll be pleased to know, stopped calling the cat a fury little bugger in the street but wish she'd curtail her description of her pet somewhat at school
Merry christmas
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Post by leo on Dec 20, 2013 23:36:13 GMT
Dear Friends,
Well, what a busy year it has been in the Met Office and what a lot to share! Life seems to go by so fast that it appears, once again, that none of you seem to have found time to be in contact.
This year Hurricane and Tsunami started at a new school (and if any of you heard the rumours that this was due to their behaviour in the toilets, play house and other 'private' areas then please disregard these - as they are only slightly true!) The new school is performing wonders and there have been no further incidents as the level of supervison is far more appropriate. In fact, schooling is going so well that they have managed 2 whole days and 2 half days at school almost every week this year!
Therapy is also going well for the boys and, a full year in, we have been celebrating the success of Tsunami making his first direct communication to his therapist - by saying her name. Achievements such as this are what parenthood is made for and I know you will all understand how significant this major step is.
I realise you may currently be celebrating your little angel's starring role in the school nativity play and that must be a lovely thing to be able to sit and watch; basking in the glow of a healthy and happy child being content to 'shine' in front of an audience; sadly, this seems unlikely to ever happen in the Met Office family.
In this last few weeks, the boys have been gainfully employed in activities designed to help them believe in a different kind of Christmas miracle - that of understanding that it is indeed possible to spend 3 Christmases, yes 3 whole Christmases!, in the same family. It is a work in progress but we are all very hopeful that acting out the scene may transform the non-believers and allow them to share some of the spirit of the Christmas miracle - namely 'peace on earth and goodwill to all men' (and Mummy!)
I am so proud to also be able to announce that, should we ever be invited for a visit, you need no longer lock up your pets as Tsunami has (nearly, on a good day, and with close supervision) learned that small animals prefer not to be held tightly around their throats or to have fingers inserted into orifices. I know I am boasting now but who could help but be proud of such a leap forwards?
Hurricane's greatest achievement this year probably lies within the area of language and literacy; he is now able to verbalise his anger in tandem with providing non verbal 'clues'. It is truly progress indeed to hear, often at great volume and in great detail, the plans for your demise at the hands of your child whilst also being subjected to the physical role play of the scenario. Furthermore, he can now leave loving notes that demonstrate his internal chaos and confusion (note to self - must check dictionary definition of 'loving notes').
We have all enjoyed robust good health again this year and the only medical visits have been for Tsunami's self induced concussion, his hair loss due to stress, his extreme nose bleeds (also stress induced) and his lack of ability to sleep. Hurricane has only had one medical visit -to stitch up an injury caused by a patch of localised stormy weather as it blew through the house. Flood defences have been improved but we do still seem prone to localised flooding here in the Met Office. The tooth fairy has been busy here this year. I have to say, I never realised teeth were so easy to just pull out - regardless of whether they were actually wobbly! Sibling rivalry eh! I expect all children pull their teeth out to keep up with their brother!
Home improvements and renovation work have been sporadic this year and have followed a more 'emergency repair' route - however, we now have a new shower, have tried out 5 toilet handles before settling on one we all like, have had 3 new doors installed, washing machine replaced, new spindles for the stairs banister, a new sink in the downstairs toilet (boys will be boys I suppose - and I'm sure I'm far from the only one who has children swinging on them!), a new radiator (boys again! Who knew they were so easy to pull off the wall?) and several new chairs for the kitchen table.
The boys are still growing like tree trunks and just this last week, Hurricane grew out of a pair of trousers before he had time to unpick the seams or pick holes in the fabric. Home security has been threatened by these latest growth spurts however and new safety measures have had to be put in place to avoid Operation House Combustion, Operation Unlock Front Door/Other Exits and Operation Flying Squirrel (worthy of a full letter in its own right).
On this happy note, I must end the Met Office update as concentration has been severely hampered by repeated evening visits from Hurricane and Tsunami - for two children named after weather systems that reflect their nature, they seem remarkably perturbed by truly natural occurences of even mildy windy weather!
I am looking forward to reading all your letters this year - and being able to laugh together as we recount our stories, saying 'Oh but they all do that!' Wishing you all the best this Christmas.
The Met Office
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And as much as I would have loved to read about how wonderful their family were doing, I couldn't bring myself to read them. 
so unfortunately I think the truth is my family is too dysfunctional for her to cope with. BTW I never send her a Christmas card.
... we can but live in hope ... 
